Rules run Amuck
Mrs. C and I live in a townhouse community. We pay monthly dues of around a billion dollars a month for snow removal, landscaping, outside maintenance to our homes and use of a swimming pool and two tennis courts.
In the ten years I have been here, no one has ever used the tennis courts. We use the swimming pool about six times a year.
The other day Mrs. C went to the pool. There was one lifeguard on duty. The pool has two sections, one section is four-foot-deep, the other section is maybe eight foot deep. Mrs. C likes the eight-foot-deep section, but she does not swim, she does not let her hair get wet. She either stands where it is only five-foot-deep, or floats on a foam noodle.
When she ventured into the “deep end” the lone guard admonished her that since there was “only” one guard on duty, no one was allowed in the “deep end.”
Mrs. C complied but soon came home more than a bit miffed.
This is a small pool. We are adults. The only way an adult could be in danger in this pool is if they had a heart attack, or they were drunk and slipped and conked their head before landing in the pool. Even then, one life guard should be able to drag the body six feet from the middle of the eight-foot-deep pool to safety.
Am I annoyed about this makeshift stupid as all crap rule?
Why yes…yes, I am!
Tomorrow we will be going to the pool. I don’t really want to go to the pool, but we are going to the pool. I only hope that the pimply-faced guard tries to tell me to not go into the “deep end” as there is “only” one guard on duty.
I passed my swim test sixty-six years ago, swimming 25 yards and back in a 25-foot-deep lagoon that had one-foot visibility. I performed my test while my father sat on the back of a boat, cocktail in hand telling me, “I’m pretty sure you can do it!”
And I did.
I'm pretty sure I can handle an eight foot deep ten foot across swimming pool!
Sixty-six years later, I am not going to let a pimply-faced life guard tell me I can’t swim in the “deep end” of a pool that cost me a billion dollars a month in association dues.
Call the cops, call your supervisor, call the lawyers whom you say made the rule; call who ever you friggin want to call, but you will either get a second guard to make sure I don’t drown, or you will sit your pimply-faced-ass back down in your chair and shut the frig up, cause I am not going to cool my old ass off in the kiddy end of the pool.
Damn I hope there is only one guard, I am really fired up!
Oh, this sounds like part one of an awfully funny post. Maybe involving your narrowly being rescued from four feet of water by two life guards.ReplyDelete
Go for it, Mr. Spitz!!ReplyDelete
Given the size of that pool, more like a large bathtub, if you ask me, I think that is a very silly rule. Perhaps the problem is the lifeguards can't swim? Let us know what happens when you dive in okay?ReplyDelete
I guess I shall have to tune in tomorrow to see what happens next.ReplyDelete
Would be a terrible shame to waste all that fire -- I can't help but hope it is the same lone life guard today.ReplyDelete
There is a pool for my community in FL. No life guard, but since it is a 55+ development, there are plenty of people hanging around to continuously remind others of the rules.
Can't wait to hear part two. I too am hoping it's a lone guard. What in the world ever happened to a little common sense.ReplyDelete
Don't go having a heart attack ....ReplyDelete
He's like the Seinfeld car rental company who knows how to TAKE a reservation, but not how to KEEP a reservation. The lifeguard knows HOW to save a life, but won't ACT to save a life. What is the purpose of a lifeguard if he's not going to do his job??? Might as well pay a single fee for a sign saying not to go in the deep end. That kid is raking in the bucks for sitting in the sun all day doing nothing.ReplyDelete
I too am hoping for pimple faced kid being alone and am waiting for part two. Hey you are paying his salary so he should do as you tell him.ReplyDelete
That poor kid. He thought he would get a great tan being a lifeguard, snag some cute chicks. Then you come along in your Speedo breathing fire. Should be interesting. Don't forget the sunscreen.ReplyDelete
What a dumb rule. I hope there's a part 2 to this. I'll be sitting on the edge of my pool noodle waiting in anticipation! :)ReplyDelete
If that pimply-faced dude has any luck at all, he's off today, and someone with a little more sense is there. The youngsters should know by now: doggone it, don't mess with old folks!ReplyDelete
Waiting on the rest of the story...ReplyDelete
If you can’t guard the whole small pool, something may be wrong with you!ReplyDelete
I’ll Paint some signs and head that way.ReplyDelete
I do hope you tell the rest of the story. Seems like if there is a lot of money going out for homeowner dues, the least they can do is have more than one lifeguard on duty to "protect" the whole pool. Seems like such a silly rule as most people who go to pools realize their swimming abilities and most parents know their kids' swimming abilities and keep an eye out on them in spite of a lifeguard being on duty.ReplyDelete