WHY MEN DO (or don't do) STUFF
A cranky re-run from October 2013. A few lady commenters actually got angry in 2013. It is sarcasm! Point being, Yes ladies, we can be slobs and thoughtless, but y'all think and analyze way too much.
I guess if it was good sarcasm I wouldn't have to explain it.
When men do stuff, women always have a complicated explanation for the psychology behind the event. Often, the real explanation is not quite as complicated as they think.
For example:
Leaving the toilet seat up
Woman: Obviously this is intentionally done as a passive-aggressive act because he does not like my new hairdo.
Man’s actual reason: “I forgot…wait…you got a new hairdo?”
Leaving dirty dishes in the sink
Woman: Clearly thinks doing dishes is woman’s work, that misogynistic lazy jerk.
Man’s actual reason: “I was going to do them, then the Giants recovered a fumble, and then I forgot.
Underpants just flung on the floor
Woman: Another example of his disrespect for the house and by extension, disrespect for me.
Man’s actual reason: “I was about to put them in the hamper, but then the phone rang, and I forgot.”
Forgets anniversary date
Woman: He doesn’t remember on purpose because it just isn’t important to him.
Man’s actual reason: “But it’s Tuesday, we were married on a Saturday…or Friday…one of those…in the Fall, I think…I forgot.
Drinks OJ from the carton
Woman: He is just too lazy to get a glass and doesn’t care about germs or manners.
Man’s actual reason: “I was about to use a glass but the doorbell rang, and then I forgot.”
Didn’t take out the garbage
Woman: He thinks he is above manual labor, and too good to handle anything dirty.
Man’s actual reason: “I thought the garbage man came on Tuesday…it is?...I forgot.”
He over tips the waiter at the restaurant
Woman: Another example of his feelings of inadequacy, and he always has to be the big man and show off.
Man’s actual reason: “15% is not over tipping!...It was 30%?...I forgot.”
Won’t ask for directions
Woman: He is an immature egomaniac unwilling to admit he is lost.
Man’s actual reason: “I was sure we turned left the last time, I guess I forgot.”
Blew up the BBQ with too much lighter fluid
Woman: In an effort to prove his manhood, he does everything in excess.
Man’s actual reason: “You were talking so much while I was squirting it on the coals that I forgot.”
Forgets to lock the front door
Woman: He just forgets to think because he is so lazy.
Man’s actual reason: “I was going to remember, but then I forgot.”
Why do woman make it so complicated?
Ummm, never mind.
ReplyDeleteRational people realize it's not on purpose, though I do think laziness comes into play in a lot of circumstances. And men aren't alone in that.
ReplyDeleteJust because we can.
ReplyDeleteIt is complicated for sure, it ain't always him ..... just leaving that right there and walking out.
ReplyDeleteI didn't need to complicate anything, my man was ahead of me with compliments, gifts, and anniversaries. Guess I was the lucky one, huh?
ReplyDeleteActually, we both forgot our anniversary once. It's not just men! Funny post....
ReplyDeleteIt’s not complicated, men just have their thoughts elsewhere. That, of course, is another post altogether.
ReplyDeleteMen have thoughts?
DeleteFunny post. Loved the hairdo quip. Now it all makes sense. Could have used this 50 years ago.
ReplyDeleteIt must be nice to go through life like a giant toddler, knowing that no matter how bad you mess something up, the worst you will get is a light scolding.
ReplyDeleteI’ve never done any of those things. You are a jerk :)
ReplyDeleteR
You could have been writing about my other half - it's him to a T. And, incidentally, he is the untidiest creature God ever made. But, I have to admit, all his faults are minor compared to his good points. I'll put up with him until George Clooney comes to sweep me off my feet!
ReplyDeleteI've been told that George leaves the seat up, is that a deal breaker?
DeleteDefinitely NOT!
DeleteWhat is it about the phone ringing? That has been my dad's undoing for as long as I can remember.
ReplyDeleteI know I'll probably get in trouble for this, but. . . My Dad, Mom, sisters and I had a simple, fool-proof system for dealing with toilet-seat issues (my wife and daughters have adopted it, as well):
ReplyDeleteIf it's up and you want it down, put it down; if it's down and you want it up, lift it up.
And my wife, a former waitress, has never, ever, criticized me for over-tipping.
Raising 4 boys I tried...I really tried, to make their future Mrs. happy with good bathroom manners and all the other stuff you mentioned. Then I decided to forget it and let their wives deal with it. Hey, I got used to plenty of splash landings and so will they. Maybe that's why 2 are divorced, one never, ever wants to marry and one must be perfect because he's been married to the same angel for 18yrs.
ReplyDeleteOh dear i think i laughed like this after quite a time
ReplyDeletenow i am not shocked that why women make it so complicated
I had a really clever, witty, and very snappy response to your post...and I forgot it.
ReplyDelete