THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Friday, April 18, 2014
THE SOAP BAR
THE SOAP BAR
old man loves a good hot shower.There was
a time when I shunned soap and water, but from the age of about twelve I have
loved a good long hot shower.
I wash my
hair in the shower, I shave in the shower.I like a good bar of soap; preferably a brand new bar of soap.Soap slivers do not cut it with me. I might use a sliver to lather up for a shave,
but the body demands a full bar of soap.
is a thrifty person. She does not like
to throw anything away.Mrs. C wants to
get the last bit of soap out of every sliver and she will not introduce a new
bar to the shower until that last sliver is gone.I understand thrifty.I appreciate saving money, and I dislike
waste.However, though not a wealthy
man, I have been lucky enough through hard work, saving, successful
investments, and the hard work, saving, and successful investments of my
ancestors to have reached a level of affluence where I can afford the luxury of a new
or almost new bar of soap for every shower.
I do not
live in or care to live in a mansion.I
do not drive or care to drive a fancy car.Mrs. Cranky and I do not live an extravagant life style nor do we
particularly seek or desire an extravagant life style.I desire only a roof over my head in a warm
home, three meals a day, an occasional change of venue, new tires on my car
when the tread is below the recommended thickness, and a new or almost new bar
of soap for my showers.It is on that
last simple pleasure that Mrs. C and I clash.
“If you are going to open a new bar
of soap when there is still a sliver left, at least apply the sliver to the new
“What?Who does that? The sliver just falls off and
then I can’t find it and if I step on it I’ll slip and break my head wide open…do
you want that?”
“What does that
“It means I have to
think about it…about now I’m thinking yes! Besides, the sliver will stick to the bar.” "I don't think it will." "It will stick, the sliver sticks to the bar." “Oh for crap sake, give me one luxury, I hate the sliver.”
“OK…if you insist on
a new bar all the time, you can get a new bar whenever you want.”
It struck me that that concession came entirely too easy.