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Friday, April 25, 2014

WALK AWAY


 WALK AWAY

 

Just a little cranky therapy, move on, nothing to see here.

 

One of the things about Mrs. Cranky that I love is she lets me be me.  I am allowed to flirt with waitresses, make wrong turns and get lost, forget stuff, and not always listen.  It is wonderful to be allowed faults. 

This was not always the case in a previous life.  In a previous life faults were punished, and punishment was severe.  I tried to filter my thoughts and comments and opinions.  I tried to not get lost, I tried to remember stuff, and I tried to always listen.  I was not always successful.

In my current life things will happen that make me shudder.   Mrs. C will ask what’s wrong and I respond that I just did something that she thought was funny, or didn’t even notice which would have possibly caused an extreme reaction in years past.  I say possibly, because it all hinged on whatever hormonal/ sugar imbalance or anxiety attack was affecting my ex-spouse at that time.  The inconsistency of a reaction to a flaw is what makes a life of walking on eggshells so difficult.

I cringe when I think of the verbal abuse which sometimes rained down on me.  There is no arguing, discussing, or even apologizing to a woman obsessed with giving you a verbal beat down.  I describe it as being the ball in a pinball machine.   No matter your response you will be bounced back and forth from a current transgression to a slipup of  years before.  When you think you have finally escaped, a flipper bangs you up and you start the back and forth battering all over again.

I always used to reach the point where I just had to leave.  Walk around the block; take a drive, anything to just get away.  Most of these batterings ended with my being told, “That’s right, walk away, that is what you always do.”

I think that in many ways, Dr. Phil is a bullying quack, but today he said something that made me feel good. He said,

“There is never, for any reason, anyway, any excuse ever for a man to abuse or hit a woman…never, ever, no way.  If nothing else, you need to just walk away.”

So now I feel the need to say, that what you believed was a weakness every time I refused to take your abuse any longer, my walking away was the only choice besides telling you to just shut the fuck up and or belting you into submission that I had to end your abuse.  You made me feel like a wimp, but know that I was being a man.  Just as I refused to physically retaliate and only fended off your feeble attempts at hitting and or kicking me I also chose to walk away from your verbal abuse.

I forgive you for your insanity, I’m not sure you could control yourself, but please know I was never a wimp.

It takes a man to walk away. 

25 comments:

  1. What's with Dr. Phil's wife, is what I want to know. Is she real?

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  2. Oh and I had the male counterpart in my past. I so understand, he was not only mentally abusive, but physically abusive too. We are both very lucky we can be ourselves. It rocks.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  3. Not being able to just be you can really bring a person down. Glad you did walk away.

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  4. Excellent post Cranky. It's really such a simple rule. Why do so many have a problem following it?

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  5. Isn't it fantastic just to be able to breath and to be? Great post Joe.

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  6. I'm happy for you; that you were able to "walk away" and to eventually walk out the door for good. Everyone deserves peace and joy. I'm glad you have more time in this life to experience a sane wife and the fun that comes with her.

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  7. I'm so glad that you've found your Mrs Cranky and that you can finally be you, because 'you' is pretty cool.

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  8. It is a shame you lived in a relationship where you needed to walk away, but YES! Walking away to cope is such a good tool when things are too much.
    I was taught to do that by our Maternal Health Nurse when my tiny screamy got too much for me... "Put her in the cot and go for a walk." It's always better than the violent reaction that never fixes anything, only takes it down into a darker place. *hugs*

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  9. Isn't it a wonderful relationship where you can be relaxed and be yourself?

    Well written!

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  10. Amen joeh!!! I've gotten the "Don't you walk away from me..." and acted like I was being cowardly. When in fact, like you I walked away for her safety...not mine! Sorry you had to live through that my friend! Glad Mrs. Cranky allows you your faults...we all have them! :-)

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  11. I agree with your conclusion, and I love the pinball analogy.

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  12. Well, it has kind of a different meaning, but there's a Trisha Yearwood song called Walkaway Joe...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCdCuduv0H0

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  13. No a whimp would have whooped that womans ass not walked away.

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  14. Walking away is too often seen as wimpy instead of the strength it really is. There is nothing manly about beating up a woman, even if she is hitting you.

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  15. You said some really wise words in walking away. Glad the situation is different with Mrs. Cranky!

    betty

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  16. Yes, sometimes the smartest thing is to walk away. Good for you! And even better that you can be yourself without walking on eggshells now. Life's too short for tiptoeing through the garbage.

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  17. I'd like to say something fun or witty, but this is really a serious matter and I believe wholeheartedly in your words--it DOES take a real man to walk away. Happy weekend.

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  18. Sounds like the third time is your charm and you found a good woman in Mrs. C. I've been there and sometimes it is hard to walk away, but only at first. When you repeatedly have to tell yourself, Walk away, Just walk away... it gets easier to do with every first step. Mine used to bait me into fights, even in front of the children, just so I would talk to him. I was always the better person and just walked away. It was pointless then and still is to this day to give in to his whims and argue with him. When you argue with an idiot, it is difficult for others to tell who's who?

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