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Wednesday, April 9, 2014




I get it women…men can’t find anything we did not ourselves put away.

Deal with it!

You could stop complaining and just deal with it.  But nooo…you want to torture us don’t you, kind of like ripping the wings off a fly.  Yes you do, admit it.  You know we can’t find the stuff you put away.  You know your directions of where to find stuff that you put away can only be understood by another woman.  Yet you continue to expect us to find things.  It is like expecting a person without legs to dance the jig.

This past weekend, Mrs. C and I were vacationing in Aruba.  It is a beautiful island, and we love lounging in the sun with a constant warm breeze, dunking in the ocean, or bathing in the pool.  It is wonderful, except Mrs. C knows how to stir things up.

I got up from our place in the sun to make a trek to the restroom.  Upon arrival I find I need a room key to enter.  I walk back to our umbrella (oh the humanity) to get the key.

“What’s up, why back so soon?”

“You need a room key to enter, where is our key?”

“In the beach bag.”

“Could you just get it?”

“Why don’t you get it?”

“Because you could just reach in and grab it, where I will dig around looking, move stuff around and still not find it.”

“Oh please.   Just open the bag, the key is right behind the book.”

“Book?  We have no book.”

“You know, the Tablet, Nook thing.”

“Which is it, the Tablet or the Nook?”



“Yes, one of those.”

“We have both…oh crap let me look…I don’t see it.”

“It is right there.”

“I don’t see it.”

“For crying out loud hand me the bag.”

Mrs. Cranky reaches into the bag that I have been turning inside out and without looking comes out with the room key.

“Here, it was right inside the plastic baggy.”

“But you said it was in the Nook, or the Tablet.”

“Well it was inside the baggy, if you had just looked you would have found it!”

“Well if you had just reached in in the first place like I asked I would have had 180 seconds of my life that is now irrevocably lost.”

“You’re a jerk!”

Aruba is such a beautiful island that I can easily overlook those minor Mrs. Cranky unpleasantries, besides, without her I would have never even found the island. 


  1. Women have a special device in their uteruses that acts like a metal detector when it comes to finding things.

  2. Very funny but that's the trade-off you get for not having to pack the bag and organise all the stuff. Deal with it!

  3. LOL. You two sound like me and Willie.

    My favorite thing to say is that if you don't find it and I do, I get to beat you with it. :-) I never actually do, but I like to keep it in reserve.


  4. ha ha!! Love it!! I always tell my husband.. If it does not fall out of the sky and into your arms, you are unable to locate it :)

  5. Funny! and Familiar

    And an addition to your first line: Men can hardly find things that they "did" put away. My husband is constantly asking me where something of his is. If I don't know where it is, he thinks I've thrown it away by mistake or misplaced it. Sooo... when I'm in the mood, I help him find it exactly where HE put it. Or eventually, he finds it. I know, in his mind, that he's mad because he has egg on his face and can't blame me. Unlike Mrs. Cranky, I control myself, and don't rub it in. :)

  6. I think my brother-in-law may be a woman in disguise. He piles stuff in front of things I've put away, hiding them. When asked where it is he suggests I look in several other places before parsing the object down to the last syllable and announcing, "Oh, yes, the shears you sent out to be sharpened last fall and put on the shelf in the storage room. I put ALL the coolers in front of them." (And knocked them off the shelf, to the bottom, jammed. If he is found in the yard with my lawn shears in his chest, I'll swear he fell on them.)

  7. Well, deal with it. Bwahahahahahahaha.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  8. My husband and I have been living in the same house for 3 years now. The other day he asks where we keep the ziploc bags. I tell him they're in the same place they've been for the PAST 3 YEARS. [blank look] So I had to show him.

  9. Just be glad you are on speaking terms with the keeper of all secrets.

  10. Oh just admit're jealous of her skill!

    My husband doesn't even know where the laundry room is in this house. I'm not sure he knows we HAVE a laundry room.

  11. While I can't prove it, I suspect K gets up in the night and moves things around. What was in one drawer/cabinet yesterday is in a different one today. Honest! Or maybe it's just my senility acting up again. ;)


  12. hey cranky, next time man up and carry your own damn key!!

    same thing going on here. she apparently just loves digging for everything so I do everything i can to take care of my own business. makes me feel like less of a jerk now and then.

    1. Yeah, well my bathing suit has no pockets.

  13. We only keep you around for killing spiders and programming the remote.

  14. “But you said it was in the Nook, or the Tablet.”

    Ummm, NO, she didn't. She said, “Oh please. Just open the bag, the key is right behind the book.”

    See there?? BEHIND the book and anyone who reads knows that a book is also a nook or tablet.
    and your favourite blue socks are in the top drawer, right hand side, in the front, in the corner.......

  15. If my husband could just find the things that he himself put away I would be so quiet -- and so happy!

  16. Admit it Joe: without Mrs C you would have been in St. Kitts!