NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, April 20, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 042014


STUPID HEADLINES 042014

It is time once again for
Well I guess it would make your legs buckle
(Thanks again Squeak)

 STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.

__________________________

School board considers dress code for parents – School board at Harper Valley claims Mrs. Johnson’s wearin her dresses way too high.

Carson: White House wanted me to apologize for 'offending' Obama – When will these conservative Republicans end their racist rants?

Scientists Discover How to Generate Solar Power in the Dark – Interesting, but it turns out blasting powerful lamps at night to power solar cells is not really productive.

Fisherman catches dildo-eating cod – Well he sure as hell ain’t going to switch to live bait!

Portland reservoir flush planned after teen cited for urination – It will take two weeks to fill up before the next teen can pee and flush again.

Casual marijuana use may damage your brain – Well then I guess I’ll just become a habitual user to play it safe.

Iran seeking ban on vasectomies to increase birthrate – Or, maybe if they wouldn’t hide the women in a full body bag with eye slits they might get a little more action in the baby making department.

Man trains his dog to use a toilet – Turns out it is really the Portland reservoir.   

Miner allegedly phoned in bomb threat due to lack of baby sitter – So the miner minor lacked a minder?

Gummy Bear Sex Ends With E.R. Visit – I don’t even want to know!

NJ man saves kids after their mom allegedly drives van into riverNew rule: Women with children cannot drive near water.

Men Get Grumpy at Age 70 – Once again, I am ahead of my time.

_______________________________


Last week’s fake headline was:

Podiatrist claims foot pain from high heels can be relieved through breast massage – I am going to take a wild guess that his specialty is high heel foot pain.

And the winners are:


How in the heck do you find these things? Your comments are a hoot. I have heard a few of them. I'm going to go with the podiatrist. He'd deserve to be .. ummm.. busted!

Busted? Why didn’t I think of that? Check out Hilary for great pictorial stories and sometimes her famous “Post of the week” selections



I read about most of these but I don't recall the one about the podiatrist so I 'll pick that one.

If you haven’t checked out the Chubby Chatterbox yet…WHY NOT?



I'm gonna go with the podiatrist also. I heard the baby thing on the radio the other day. Stupid! Seriously

Visit Melynda @ http://pmmkpl.blogspot.com/ Always interesting and or funny.


I'm not sure on the headlines. My TV time has been reduced and is limited to catching the weather. I do hope that the false headline is not the one about the podiatrist though!

Is hope a guess?  Gotta give it to her

Visit Gossip Girl @


Wish her good luck in stopping smoking.



Congratulate all our winners, have a

HAPPY EASTER

and

COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE

STUPID HEADLINES

14 comments:

  1. i really don't know what to say about the cod, so i'll pick that one... :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, there's a bunch of weirdness today. The gummy bear one had me laughing out loud. Okay your comments crack me up.

    I'm going to guess training the dog to use the toilet. I've never known a dog that would go for that.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. Happy Easter too. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm of an age that I remember Mrs. Johnsons short skirts, and nobody was complaining! That is the fake headline... ;-)
    Happy Easter!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah, like Susie, I so wanted to just type the words "the dildo is fake - in more ways than one" but since she more or less did, I don't have to.

    I'm thinking the toilet trained dog and the grumpy 70 year old men are just not headline worthy (as if gummy bear sex is.. but I've seen that story). So if I have to pick just one, I'll go with the potty pup.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, Joe, you (and I) are showing our age! I, too, remember the "Harper Valley PTA". That's the fake headline.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The one about the "miner allegedly phoned in bomb threat due to lack of baby sitter" sounds like it really could happen. So I'm picking that one for my fake guess.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The one about the fisherman and the dildo sounds farfetched to me. Happy Easter, Mr. Cranky.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'll have to pick the Solar Power in the Dark as fake, even thought the fishy dildo beckoned to me alLUREingly.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm going with "Scientists Discover How to Generate Solar Power in the Dark" as the fake. I guess they could use UV lights but that would stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  10. There sure is a lot of stupidity going around these days......

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm with Hilary - How do you ever find all of these? Great stuff, in any case. I'll take a shot (in the dark) and say it's the one about solar power. Tough, though. I certainly hope it's not the one about a dildo-eating cod. That's the sort of story that makes life worth living!

    ReplyDelete
  12. No question about it - the Harper Valley PTA are all hypocrites and that's the fake one.

    ReplyDelete
  13. YOUR comments are hilarious! I am going with the school board dress code - seems they'd have enough problems controlling the kids, let alone taking on the crazy parents too!

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!