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Saturday, October 26, 2019



"It'" responded on my last post about using SOS pads, "Lol, don't even get me started on loading the dishwasher." So of course I have to post this re-run from 2011

Is there a list of official “dishwasher rules?”  I think every woman has their own set of rules.  I am on my third marriage.  I have had to learn a new set of conflicting rules with every wife.  As soon as I learn the rules, I change wives and have to relearn a new set of rules.  It is hard enough for a man to learn how to perform a task, it is impossible to have to relearn new rules.

PLEASE!!  Women, please get together and agree on dishwasher protocol.

Here are the rules I have to adjust to after every new marriage.

1.    Knives go in pointy side down or pointy side up?  Make up your minds, one way or the other, I really don’t care!

2.    All plates and flatware must be scrapped clean before loading.  Some say yes some say no.  It seems to me the dishwasher should be doing this work, but many women say the washer only sanitizes the load.  I don’t really care; just decide one or the other!

3.     Tupperware?  Yes or no? Come on women, either you can put it in the washer or you can’t.  Please, one rule!

4.    Silverware? See #3.

5.    Fine china?  See #3.  Keep in mind most men cannot discern fine china from Corningware.

6.    When can I turn the washer on?  Does every nook and cranny need to be bursting with dishes or can I do a load every day?

7.    If #6 requires the washer to be bursting with dishes before starting, is there a time limit to overrule that requirement.  Two days? One week? Make up your mind and tell me!

8.    Can I wash stainless steel?  I’m told it might rust.  Really, rust but not stain?  Really?

9.    No plastic, plastic will chip or might melt, or plastic is no problem; come on, what is it?

Currently these are the rules I have been forced to follow:

Knives go pointy side down so you do not stab yourself as opposed to pointy side up so the business end gets cleaned.  Everything needs to be scrubbed clean before loading; the washer only sanitizes the dishes.  Tupperware…..NEVER, it will lose its whoosh when burped.  Silverware…no, I have no explanation.  Fine china…no, it will chip.  Why won’t crappy china chip?  The machine must be filled to the brim and then not turned on until the wife has a chance to inspect and redistribute the dishes to optimize capacity.  Dirty dishes must be washed within two days if washer is not filled to capacity.  No stainless steel, it might rust if the drying process is not complete (I don’t make the rules, I just follow.) No plastic, it might melt (I know, dishes have to be scrubbed clean before loading into a machine that could melt plastic.  WTF?)

These are the rules I currently follow.  Please ladies, get together and make one set of rules, I refuse to have to relearn dishwasher protocol again.

Or, I guess I will just have to stick with Mrs. Cranky and her rules.


  1. I don't have any rules for the dishwasher. If hubby loads it and washes the dishes I'm most grateful. That goes the same for the laundry and any other household chore. He has his way and I have mine. It all works out.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎

  2. I recently renovated my kitchen and I had the dishwasher removed altogether - I don't understand the rules either (plus I never used the damn thing and I could the space for something useful..)

  3. Knives can point up or down, doesn't matter, as long as you don't put my good Cutco knives in the dishwasher.

    If you own a brand new dishwasher, no scraping is needed. Once it's over a year old, not scraping will result in food left on the plates. This has been true ever since people complained so much about how noisy dishwashers were that the manufacturers removed the garbage disposers in them. They now stay efficient at removing all the food and getting rid of it for about a year before the filter screens get to where they don't work and food gets redeposited instead of broken down fine enough to remove.

    Please note that the above does not apply to eggs or grits. Eggs will cook on so hard you could use them to repave the roads, and even one tiny grit left on a plate will explode and you will have dried on grits stuck to everything, even in a dishwasher a day old. Best to eat grits at a restaurant or wash the plate by hand.

    All tupper/rubbermaid/etc. type products bought for this house are dishwasher safe in the top rack or are not brought home.

    Flatware, yes, and up or down doesn't matter as long as you don't let the spoons "nest" so food stays stuck between them. Actual Silver of any kind should not go in a dishwasher, the detergent will discolor it.

    If you are using it as an everyday plate, it is not fine china and can go in the dishwasher. If you are using fine china in my house, something is wrong, as it has to be washed by hand.

    As with the laundry, a load a day keeps Mt. Washmore away.

    Put the stainless in, and if it rusts it's cheap and we need to buy some that's better anyway.

    Plastic is the same as tupper type products, if it can't go in a dishwasher on the top rack, it is not coming home with me.

    Happy Saturday!

    1. Paragraph 2: buy new filter screens and clean the filter once a month by running a cycle with vinegar in the soap dispenser and no dishes.
      Scraping AND RINSING should take care of even eggs.

  4. We don't use the dishwasher too much...only if I have a crowd to serve and I'm pleased as punch to announce that Sam's Club makes the cutest throw away plates that look just as good on my Thanksgiving table as the china I used to use. Now the china will never be chipped in the dishwasher and the plates look fabulous in the garbage bag. Being a surgical technologist I suggest if you love your spouse please put the pointy side of the knife down...I guess it's up to you!

  5. Omigosh this made me laugh at the very start--everytime you get a new wife, the rules change!! I never had a dishwasher until 2 1/2 years ago, when I moved into my new apartment... and being single, I just rinse off my dishes in the sink--I use the washer to store stuff!

  6. I don't have a dishwasher, so I have no point of reference here. But I DO have a TV, which I use every day, to watch reality shows! Just so you don't get the wrong idea, and think I'm virtue-signaling about saving the environment by not guzzling electricity, and not shooting chemicals into the water supply.

    1. Many dishwasher products these days are biodegradable and earth safe.

  7. My rules are more about the arrangement of dishes so that they all face towards the middle. My husband is the nazi about the dishes being spotless before putting in. He has had to take apart our current dishwasher (Kitchenaid-never again!) to clean out the gunk numerous times because the sprayer stops getting to the top rack.

  8. Since I un stack the dish washer after they are washed, I feel I can have "control" with the way the dishes are in there (though with hubby retiring in a few months I'm seriously thinking of delegating him this chore). We do have differences of opinion of how to stack dishes as well as how to load the shopping cart, so while he moves my stuff in the shopping cart to suit his way, I do the same in the dishwasher. I agree with the knives. Sharp edge down to prevent injury. Rest of the silverware is handle side down. I get every single dish I can into the dishwasher and it doesn't get run until it is full or it will get run even half empty if son/family are coming over for dinner that night because when they are over the dishwasher always automatically is at capacity load and then some. We pre wash but I think we do that because the dishwasher is getting older and just doesn't do the best job it should do. For all the complaining I do about having to un stack it, I'm glad we have the app;iance. I would hate to wash dishes on a daily basis.


  9. oh these rules are already making me confuse dear Joe so me i will decide to not but a dishwasher lol

    this i s so true that each individual has his own set of rules regarding almost everything so dishwasher cannot be exception :)

  10. I have a never used dishwasher which I keep meaning to dispose of but never get round to it. I only ever used it if and when we had more than two people for a meal, which was rare. Now the machine sits there simply to fill a space, I mean what would I put in its place? My approach to dishwashers is similar to yours.

  11. Been doing a lot of dishes lately?
    This is my biggie: no prep knives, especially if they have wooden handles.
    And, seriously, Bar Keepers Friend is the only way to clean stainless steel -- never in the dishwasher.

  12. My dishwasher hangs from my wrists. I do have one but have never used it except for storage. Not even shore it works. I laugh each time the little girl in the commercial whines, "If mom has to wash the dishes before she puts them into the dishwasher, what does the dishwasher do?"

  13. I feel your pain brother. I NEVER turn our dishwasher on until it passes the wife inspection :)

  14. #1: regular tableware knives shouldn't matter, but kitchen knives such as choppers, carvers etc, often have the blade embedded in a wooden handle and these should always go pointy end down, so that water drips off the handle and down the blade, other way up and moisture will collect in that tiny groove between handle and blade and if not dried properly it will rust.
    #2: yes, everything must be scraped (one 'p'), otherwise your dishwasher filter will get clogged and need cleaning and replacing much more often. As far as I know dishwashers do not sanitise any more than proper washing-by-hand in hot water and any "sanitising" is negated anyway as soon as you open the door and germ-laden air rushes in and of course you touch those dishes to take them out of the washer...
    #3: Tupperware? I think the newer stuff is dishwasher safe, check the base of each item to be sure, but the original Tupperware should go in a dishwasher. Usually it is only the lids that can't go in because they warp, and I wouldn't put any lids in whether they are the newer styles or not.
    #4: silverware? I don't have any, but regular stainless steel cutlery can go in. If yours has plastic handles the handles will dull and eventually crack, but cutlery that is all stainless steel is okay.
    #5: Fine china? I wouldn't if it has a metallic trim and any without should be stamped on the bottom whether it is dishwasher safe. Without that stamp, don't take chances.
    #6: Turn on the dishwasher when it is full, but don't cram dishes into every nook and cranny, it works the same as a clothes washer, over filling equals less effective cleaning.
    #7: if you have enough to do a load, turn it on. If you leave dishes for several days without washing, just because it isn't full, you risk anything not properly scraped getting the food/gravy/whatever particles dried onto it and much more difficult to remove. Scrape and rinse before loading the dishwasher, or wash up by hand.
    #8: stainless steel pots can go in, but over time the shiny surface will become dulled. This may also happen with handwashing, but will happen much faster in a dishwasher.
    #9: plastic? some can, some can't, read what is stamped on the bottom of the item. If it doesn't say dishwasher safe, then don't put it in.

  15. Oops #3, original Tupperware should NOT go in a dishwasher

  16. Depends on the dishwasher - each one I've had must be loaded differently.
    I never ever need to wash before loading. What is the point of that? Get a new dishwasher if that is necessary or just wash them. But if hubby loads 'em who cares, he loaded them.
    Sure is a lot of hollerin' over at Cranky's place. :-)
    But then again I would never ever use steel wool on any pan ever. So your wife would yell at me as well. A well seasoned cast iron skillet should never have an SOS pad used on them. Non stick should never either so who knows maybe I'd yell at your too. :-)

    1. I use soapy steelo pads on everything. I found the green nylon scourer pads scratched far worse than almost anything. The only thing worse is those really old fashioned copper or steel coloured metal scourers which looked like a miniature permed wig.

  17. Wow. My rules are:

    Scrape if necessary. I never pre-wash. My dishwasher takes care of that. I pretty much toss everything in the DW. Why have one if you can't use it to "wash" your dishes. The silverware can be a area of confusion. I always just put them anywhere. For me logic would dictate that you want the top to be clean, since that is the part you use on food. Why place it down? It doesn't get as cleaned. I get the deal on the knives being placed downward.

    Plastics, tupperware, fine china, crystal, pots and pans - ALL go in my dishwasher and do just fine. With all that in the dishwasher, I pretty much run it every evening before we go to bed. Electric rates are cheaper and we wake up to clean dishes and a clean coffee pot.

    I washed dishes by hand for years - so if I am going to have a dishwasher, I'm using it.


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