STUPID HEADLINES 032821
Cheerleader at Applebees performs CPR on man having a seizure – Give me a "C" give me a “P” give me an “R”, give me a “CPR!”
Ex-UFO program
chief explains the three leading theories on the origin of UFOs – 1. they are from another planet. 2. They are
from another planet. 3. They are from another planet.
Most people fall into an 'internet wormhole' five times a
week – WTF?
Children's book
on Dr. Anthony Fauci set for June –
“Do you like Covid-19?” “I do not like it, get the vaccine!” “Do you
like it on a chair, do you like it in the air?” “I do not like it on a
chair, I do not like it in the air, I do not like Covid-19 I do not like it,
get the vaccine!”
Ukraine
health ministry says woman who died after COVID vaccine had no side effects – Well, other than death, there were no
side effects.
Canada's
$645,000 toilet questioned by critics – If the toilet seat could actually answer any questions,
it would explain why the damn thing cost $645,000.
Iowa
woman, 104, gets COVID-19 vaccine decades after surviving 1918 flu pandemic – Woman says, “This pandemic thing
every hundred years is getting tiring!”
First
house on the moon could be yours for $60M – A bit expensive, but it does have a
beautiful view of Earth.
Prison
guard 'who gave birth to a convicted murder's child after sex romps behind
bars' sobs in court as she's spared jail – She used the George Costanza plea, “Is
that wrong? Should I not have done that? Because if I knew that was wrong, I
never would have had sex with that prisoner.”
Swan
terrorizes homeowners by constantly knocking on front doors – And I thought the Jehovah’s Witnesses
were bad.
Amazing how they think up these headlines.
ReplyDeleteGod bless, JoeH.
i enjoyed them all of them except one about women who died after vaccine ? oh this must be some kind of misunderstanding
ReplyDeleteclever dog made me smile :)
blessings and best wishes!
You're a hit again. Afraid I am guilty of the wormhole trips and cracked up at the talking toilet seat. LOVED that brilliant dog story.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the entertainment and smiles. Definitely hit my funny bone with the toilet seat. Be Safe, life is short at any rate.
ReplyDeleteSherry & jack finally some warm days in Florida...
Yes, the prison guard obviously didn't know that such behavior was frowned upon. For that price, the toilet better have an attachment that can hand a spare square of toilet paper to somebody in an adjoining stall!
ReplyDeleteThese pandemics every hundred years or so are getting out of hand.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs, and the wonderful story about the dog!
I'm not a doctor nor do I play one on TV but if someone is having a seizure CPR isn't going to help them. I know I've fallen into some kind of hole when I find myself mindlessly scrolling on Facebook. I love the dog story! How could you not give that sweet canine treats!
ReplyDeleteVery clever headlines and comments this week. I'm a bit horrified at that first one where 4/10 is a majority!
ReplyDelete