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Saturday, March 27, 2021

STUPID HEADLINES 032821

 

STUPID HEADLINES 032821


This weeks stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.

Cheerleader at Applebees performs CPR on man having a seizure – Give me a "C" give me a “P” give me an “R”, give me a “CPR!”

Ex-UFO program chief explains the three leading theories on the origin of UFOs – 1. they are from another planet. 2. They are from another planet. 3. They are from another planet.

 

Most people fall into an 'internet wormhole' five times a week – WTF?

 

Children's book on Dr. Anthony Fauci set for June – “Do you like Covid-19?” “I do not like it, get the vaccine!” “Do you like it on a chair, do you like it in the air?” “I do not like it on a chair, I do not like it in the air, I do not like Covid-19 I do not like it, get the vaccine!”

 

Ukraine health ministry says woman who died after COVID vaccine had no side effects – Well, other than death, there were no side effects.

 

Canada's $645,000 toilet questioned by critics – If the toilet seat could actually answer any questions, it would explain why the damn thing cost $645,000.

 

Iowa woman, 104, gets COVID-19 vaccine decades after surviving 1918 flu pandemic – Woman says, “This pandemic thing every hundred years is getting tiring!”

 

First house on the moon could be yours for $60M – A bit expensive, but it does have a beautiful view of Earth.

 

Prison guard 'who gave birth to a convicted murder's child after sex romps behind bars' sobs in court as she's spared jail – She used the George Costanza plea, “Is that wrong? Should I not have done that? Because if I knew that was wrong, I never would have had sex with that prisoner.”

Swan terrorizes homeowners by constantly knocking on front doors – And I thought the Jehovah’s Witnesses were bad.

 

 

FEEL GOOD STORY of the week

 

Clever Dog Always Brings a Leaf to ‘Buy’ Himself Treats At The Store –

http://heavenofanimals.com/2021/03/21/clever-dog-always-brings-a-leaf-to-buy-himself-treats-at-the-store/?fbclid=IwAR3rNnu8DBKZ9xA5s1Jzga1jiRIrvi2PqOJn9JjotuVO4ATRoFVky2L8GRo

I guess he saw people buying stuff with green paper…how cool is that?

 

 

8 comments:

  1. Amazing how they think up these headlines.

    God bless, JoeH.

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  2. i enjoyed them all of them except one about women who died after vaccine ? oh this must be some kind of misunderstanding
    clever dog made me smile :)
    blessings and best wishes!

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  3. You're a hit again. Afraid I am guilty of the wormhole trips and cracked up at the talking toilet seat. LOVED that brilliant dog story.

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  4. Thanks for the entertainment and smiles. Definitely hit my funny bone with the toilet seat. Be Safe, life is short at any rate.
    Sherry & jack finally some warm days in Florida...

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  5. Yes, the prison guard obviously didn't know that such behavior was frowned upon. For that price, the toilet better have an attachment that can hand a spare square of toilet paper to somebody in an adjoining stall!

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  6. These pandemics every hundred years or so are getting out of hand.

    Thanks for the laughs, and the wonderful story about the dog!

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  7. I'm not a doctor nor do I play one on TV but if someone is having a seizure CPR isn't going to help them. I know I've fallen into some kind of hole when I find myself mindlessly scrolling on Facebook. I love the dog story! How could you not give that sweet canine treats!

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  8. Very clever headlines and comments this week. I'm a bit horrified at that first one where 4/10 is a majority!

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