Bickering

 Bickering

 I am often asked by family or friends, “Why do you and Mrs. C fight so often?”

I reply, “We don’t fight, we bicker.”

What is the difference you ask?

This is one area of couples dynamics at which I am expert.  Let me explain.

FIGHTING

“JOE! Did you take out the trash?”

“NO, I forgot.”

“You ALWAYS forget!”

“I DO NOT, I sometimes forget, and there is still time to take it out.”

“Why don’t you EVER remember?”

“What is the big deal, I’m on it now?”

“The big deal is I ALWAYS have to tell you because you are LAZY and STUPID and a pain in my ass!”

“Shut up!”

“No, YOU shut up and get off your fat ass and toss the trash!”

“I SAID I WAS ON IT!”

“ASS HOLE!”

Under my breath, “F*ck You!”

That is a fight. 

BICKERING

“Joseph…did you take out the trash?”

“Yes.”

“No you didn’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you always need me to remind you.”

“Not always.”

“Always.”

“Shut up.”

“YOU shut up.”

“No YOU shut up.”

“How are you going to make me?”

“By taking out the trash.”

“You’re a jerk.”

“Yeah, but I’m your jerk.”

“I know!”

“Where are we going for dinner tonight?”

“How about the Boob place, we haven’t gone in a while?”  (Very nice local restaurant where the waitresses happen to be well endowed…we always forget the name of the place.)

“Sounds good, Boob place it is.”

That is bickering.

re-run from June 2019