I MAY BE REMOTELY INCOMPETENT

I MAY BE REMOTELY INCOMPETENT

Mrs. C and I watch TV in bed.  Sometimes we don’t really watch it, but it is background noise while we are on our computers…ok, we watch it and are on our computers.

Anyway

It has gotten to the point where we cannot fall asleep without that background noise.  No problem, the TV has a sleep timer function designed for just such TV wack-a-doodles as we are.  The responsibility for setting this control is on Mrs. C.  I have learned and have actually set the controls myself and it is quite simple, but it is Mrs.  C’s job.

Last night, Mrs. C crashed early.  When the time came to turn in myself and let the TV drone lull me to sleep, it was up to me to set the sleep timer.  Easy enough, except there are two remotes which must be set.  The cable remote, and the TV remote.

Yes, I know you can set either one to be a universal remote, except for the sleep timer…well we don’t know how to do that, so the only thing we don’t do with a universal remote is set the sleep timer on the TV and the cable box. 

It is still easy enough except the TV remote is all black with space age controls which are difficult to feel.  In the dark you need to be very familiar with this remote, and it must be done in the dark or else Mrs. C will wake up.

Any light, and the sensitive sleeping Mrs. C is up and awake.  If I failed to set this timer, Mrs. C would know and I would hear about my incompetency for days.

I set the cable to turn off in 60 minutes, and then fumbled with the TV remote.  I changed the channel, changed the picture size, and probably bought a new electric mop over the internet, but I could not figure out the sleep timer.

I gave up and figured I could just say I forgot and only take teasing for a day or so, but then I noticed I had turned on the “caption” function where all dialog was printed across the screen…really annoying and it would ruin my “I forgot” excuse. 

I tinkered around for 10 minutes and finally found the caption control, but…it did nothing.  It took me another 10 minutes before I realized the caption control that was on was from the cable remote.  Now wide awake I found a flash light to help set the TV remote sleep control and in only a few minutes was successful and miraculously enough with all my fussing and muttering did not wake up Mrs. C.

This morning Mrs. C said to me,

“You forgot to set the sleep control, you don’t know how do you?”

“WHAT! I set them both.”

“Then why was the TV on at 5 o’clock this morning?”

CRAP! I am remotely incompetent!