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Sunday, August 2, 2015

STUPID HEADLINES 0802145


STUPID HEADLINES 0802145
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

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WYOMING MAN FOUND WITH 30 EYEBALLS IN HIS ANAL CAVITY – He was sent to I See You.

San Francisco combats the stench of urine with pee-repellant paint – Or they could encourage the use of toilets.

Feds gave low-income housing to millionaires There goes the neighborhood.

Too pale to fly? Airline stops redhead from boarding due to white ‘sickly’ skin – I’m guessing they weren’t flying to the Caucasians.

Minnesota city fights solar system approval by state – This is government getting carried away, the Solar System is pretty much a given, not subject to state approval.

Giant inflatable duck taken from roof of Roseburg auto center – FRAN! Can you verify where you were on the night of July 26? http://fishducky.blogspot.com/

Washington, D.C. could sink 6 inches over next century – And you probably didn’t think Washington could get any lower.

Teens sold iPhones that were Play-Doh bricks – The “Phones” were not the only things that were not smart.

The king still reigns at ag expo cat show – What the Hell is an ag expo cat show?

Nutty professor: Rutgers teacher who said US worse than ISIS has history of bizarre statements – This is the same professor who fought against allowing Condoleezza Rice to speak. The fact she can even make such a statement proves she is wrong.

Lottery Shows Winning Number Before It Gets Drawn – Officials claim it was just a coincidence, kind of like winning the goof-up lottery.

23 Pound lobster is 95 years old – Proof that eating nothing but seafood is good for you.

11 comments:

  1. Some of these I read about, but thirty eyeballs in someone's anal cavity? I know from experience you can't get more than twenty-six eyeballs in your anal cavity.

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  2. I'm going with Stephen's expertise plus it just can't be possible.

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  3. Haha
    I had a good laugh over your comment on the DC sinking lower. But all true. Ha

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  4. I think the redhead story is fake. What about albinos?

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  5. None of the above. As far as the inflatable duck goes (& it apparently went)--it wasn't me, I didn't do it & I'll never do it again!!

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  6. "WYOMING MAN FOUND WITH 30 EYEBALLS IN HIS ANAL CAVITY" I'll bet he had a really shitty outlook on...well...everything!

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  7. I'm going with the eyeballs. Everybody knows you're supposed to put a hamster there, not eyeballs.

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  8. Are any of these fake? I don't see directions to choose a fake. I can't operate without reading directions! Where do you get 30 eyeballs? I don't have a clue.

    However...that eyeball asshole must have been really rich or really important to have so many people's heads up his ass. And that 95-year-old lobster? Come on! Like he knew where his birth certificate was!

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  9. Thirty eyeballs? that's got to be the one.

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  10. None of the above. I think these are all true.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

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  11. Thanks to this contest, I've become quite comfortable with accepting insane behavior as a normal part of humanity. I won't be one bit surprised if they are all true, but I'll say the lobster is a fake.

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