BEHIND THE WRONG WAFFLES
It has taken seven years, but I think I am finally beginning to understand Mrs. Cranky’s directions. Not road directions, her road directions are second to none in accuracy and detail. It is things around the house that she is either vague or weird in her directions.
“Kare, where are the new towels we just bought?”
“In the corner.”
Do you have any idea how many corners there are in my house? Of course you don’t, but it is like any other house and there are a lot of corners, and several floors.
“Kare, where is the mustard?”
“In the fridge.”
“I know that; where in the fridge?”
“On the shelf, behind the stuff.”
There are several shelves, and everyone has stuff that could hide mustard.
“Kare, have you seen my golf shoes?”
“In the garage.”
If you could see our garage, you would know how useless these directions are.
“Where in the garage?”
“In the corner.”
See what I mean?
Last night, while watching TV in the bedroom, I had a hankering for a Creamsicle. I knew we had some, I also know the wife had hidden them because I am addicted.
“What do you say we share a Creamsicle?”
My best bet at having her tell me where they are is by offering to share one.
“Share smare, bring up two.”
“Great, where in the fridge did you hide them?”
“They are behind the wrong waffles.”
This is where I am finally starting to understand the workings of Mrs. Cranky’s mind. Weeks ago I purchased waffles for Mrs. Cranky. She has a waffle every morning which I toast for her and bring up with a glass of orange juice. (Why yes, I am a good husband.)
Her waffles are toasted Eggo waffles. She likes the Nutri-Grain, the Cinnamon, the Mini’s and the French Toast. The waffles I bought were the Homestyle. When I bought them she said “That’s OK, I eat the plain ones also.”
That was weeks ago and she has yet to request Plain or Homestyle for her morning waffle.
When she told me the Creamsicles were behind the “wrong” waffles, I knew exactly where to go.
And she didn’t call me a jerk!