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Thursday, August 27, 2015



It has taken seven years, but I think I am finally beginning to understand Mrs. Cranky’s directions.  Not road directions, her road directions are second to none in accuracy and detail.  It is things around the house that she is either vague or weird in her directions.

“Kare, where are the new towels we just bought?”

“In the corner.”

Do you have any idea how many corners there are in my house?  Of course you don’t, but it is like any other house and there are a lot of corners, and several floors.

“Kare, where is the mustard?”

“In the fridge.”

“I know that; where in the fridge?”

“On the shelf, behind the stuff.”

There are several shelves, and everyone has stuff that could hide mustard.

“Kare, have you seen my golf shoes?”

“In the garage.”

If you could see our garage, you would know how useless these directions are.

“Where in the garage?”

“In the corner.”

See what I mean?

Last night, while watching TV in the bedroom, I had a hankering for a Creamsicle.  I knew we had some, I also know the wife had hidden them because I am addicted.

“What do you say we share a Creamsicle?”

My best bet at having her tell me where they are is by offering to share one.

“Share smare, bring up two.”

“Great, where in the fridge did you hide them?”

“They are behind the wrong waffles.”

This is where I am finally starting to understand the workings of Mrs. Cranky’s mind.  Weeks ago I purchased waffles for Mrs. Cranky.  She has a waffle every morning which I toast for her and bring up with a glass of orange juice.  (Why yes, I am a good husband.)

Her waffles are toasted Eggo waffles.  She likes the Nutri-Grain, the Cinnamon, the Mini’s and the French Toast.  The waffles I bought were the Homestyle.  When I bought them she said “That’s OK, I eat the plain ones also.” 

That was weeks ago and she has yet to request Plain or Homestyle for her morning waffle.

When she told me the Creamsicles were behind the “wrong” waffles, I knew exactly where to go.

And she didn’t call me a jerk!


  1. What exactly is a creamsicle? It sounds like something that would be in the freezer not the fridge. Nice that you didn't get called a jerk this time.

  2. Of course, I know exactly how your wife's mind works :O)

  3. Next time, buy the chocolate chip waffles. Wrong, but delicious!

  4. She didn't call you a jerk? She feeling OK? ;)

  5. I like cremesicles, too. Orange are the very best.

  6. Hahaha Now I can see this talk must sound odd
    to a man but I understand her perfectly. Sometimes
    you have to hunt a little, even when you are in the
    vicinity. Breakfast in ARE a good husband.

  7. I like her system; she seems to have it down really well and it seems like you might be getting the hang of it :)

    Now I want a creamsicle.


  8. I'm assuming that the creamsicles are all gone now, or did she re-hide them. Bwahahahahahahaha.

    Your home is so very interesting.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  9. She knows which corner, she can picture them there in her mind. She just needs to reference other nearby items, as she did with the wrong waffles.

    It is nice that you are starting to understand each other!

  10. We like the buttermilk waffles.

  11. Still waiting for the TV show, "The Crankys". It would be a hit. "Jerk" would become the new buzz word.

  12. Marriage is an emotional ballet, and sometimes it kills my feet to squeeze my toes into those little slippers.

  13. See you're not a jerk all the time. And sometimes she even notices. Still, I agree. Some of those directions are a bit vague.

  14. Things are definitely looking up!

  15. You must have been bringing her the proper glass of orange juice lately. Besides, who can think of jerks with a delicious Creamsicle staring her in the face?

  16. I haven't had a creamsicle in decades! Now I want one...

  17. haha. I like her! And now I have to google creamsicles because I'm pretty sure we don't have those in Latvia, lol.

  18. Asking my wife where to find something in the house is a waste of breath. Her stock answer is, You had it last. Unfortunately that is often correct, but still you'd think she would know.

  19. I get whole sentences like, "It did that to the thing that was there." We've been married forty one years and I still don't know what the hell she is talking about.