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Monday, August 3, 2015

TUPPERWARE a cranky re-run

TUPPERWARE
Actually this is a double re-run, from August 2011 and October 2012

Tupperware was invented in 1946.  Tupperware has since been a kitchen storage staple.  In the day, my ex-wife went to a Tupperware party several times a year.  We had Tupperware cups, juice pitchers, and containers of every size.  We had the traditional Tupper-toy ball which held Tupper-blocks of multiple shapes (my record was shoving all the shapes into the ball in 22 seconds.

There is a Tupperware container for virtually every household item.  There is a container to hold a bar of soap, a container to cover and keep your toothbrush sanitary (or create a humid atmosphere to grow germs.)  There is a special container for toothpicks, pizza slices, salt, pepper, head of lettuce, and multiple sizes of the Velveeta brick (a cheese like product).

Tupperware is virtually indestructible, and comes with a lifetime guarantee against damage or defect. 

My wife is a Tupperware fanatic. 

The daughter of a Tupperware party lady, she has been brainwashed into the belief that Tupperware is GOLD. 

We have three cabinets full of Tupperware.  Mrs. Cranky fits this stuff in like a giant Jenga puzzle.  Pull out the wrong container and you are hit by an avalanche of multi-colored plastic containers.  The lids for the multitude of containers are all on a shelf of their own.  They are color coded to aid in matching them up to the containers (no, the lids are not the same color as the container.)  My wife is the only one who knows the code.  Every lid almost fits each container.  Without the code obtaining the magic Tupperware freshness burp is an incredibly frustrating task.

You cannot put the Tupper-gold in the dishwasher; Mrs. Cranky claims it will lose its burp.  I am not allowed to hand wash it.  I am too rough.   I officially hate Tupperware.  Tupperware is symbolic of all things kitchen which men cannot handle.  We cannot store it.  We cannot take it out.  We cannot properly seal it.  We can’t even wash the damn stuff.  You can’t see through it, when it is in the refrigerator we have no idea what is stored in the Tupperware.

Is this stuff really gold?  You can buy a dozen non-Tupperware plastic containers at the supermarket for one tenth the price of Tupperware.  It will not last a lifetime, but you can see through it so you know what it holds.  It won’t do the burp thing so the food gets moldy one day earlier, but at least you can see the mold before you open the container up.

Even cheaper, Chinese restaurants now deliver their product in plastic (Chinese Tupperware) containers.  They don’t last a lifetime, but you can put them in the dishwasher.  When they wear out, you simply throw them away and order more take-out.

I have not heard of a Tupperware party in years, maybe they don’t need to sell the stuff anymore; it does last forever and gets passed down generation to generation.  I know I will never see the day that I can safely open the Tupperware cabinet. 

Damn I hate that stuff!

I told Mrs. Cranky that when I am gone please have a cremation and put me in an urn.  My greatest fear is spending eternity burped in a tightly sealed Tupperware casket.  Blue….With a yellow lid.           

15 comments:

  1. My youngest sold tupperware. It's roughly analogous to a pyramid scheme. We had a lot of tupperware, to fill her monthly quotas. The only piece I have is the coffee scoop. I will never part with it; it does its job perfectly!

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  2. I don't have any Tupperware. So 70s if you ask me and there is way cooler stuff to use now. I'm with you on this.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  3. The only Tupperware we ever had were the colorful little kid drinking cups. I still have them. I like your record for the toy!

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  4. I don't know whether the stuff we have is Tupperware or not but I know we have a drawer full of the stuff. I have some of the same complaints as you.

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  5. Are you sure the yellow lid fits the blue casket? I'd hate to see you mold before it's necessary!!

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  6. I was going to say I bought Tupperware recently, then realized it was about 20 years ago. I bought items they never had in my mother's time. I still have my mom's large flour and sugar containers. They burp like a well-trained baby. Anyhow, all I really wanted to say is that some of it's good, but like anything, too much is bad.

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  7. Wait! She won't let you wash it? or use it? or even store it away? How can I get all our kitchen stuff converted to Tupperware? "Sorry, Honey, I can't help with the dishes tonight; there's Tupperware in it." :)

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  8. If my wife puts ME in the dishwasher, will I loose my burp?

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  9. Laughed at your ashes request. Haven't heard of one of those parties in years. I hated them but had to go for a friend was throwing it. I had a zillion Tupperware salt and pepper shakers. It was the cheapest item to buy and it showed my friends that I supported them.

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  10. I still have the set of four canisters for the flour, sugar; etc. (what does everybody keep in the "etc" containers?). I remember the toy ball - my kids had fun with it. Other than that? It's empty cool whip containers all the way!

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    Replies
    1. What does everybody keep in the "etc" containers? "Misc", of course :)

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  11. I had a friend once who was a Tupperware dealer; her cabinets looked fantastic, all things were in Tupperware, cereal, flour, sugar, etc. Too organized for me. I think maybe right now we have 2-3 pieces of Tupperware and that is probably 2-3 pieces we really don't need.

    betty

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  12. My mom had the lettuce saver with the spike. And she had tall salt and pepper shakers, and the little squatty ones. Plus too many burping bowls to count. I myself prefer the takeout Chinese containers. Mainly because when you buy them, they are full of food.

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  13. You haven't heard of a Tupperware party in years because that stuff has gotten so gosh darn expensive now. They have roving saleswomen who set up stands at your local supermarket maybe once a year, and it looks very nice but costs more than sending a kid to Mars. And it most certainly is NOT indestructible. The lids split because of all that burping and need to be replaced. Good luck with that. I've bought the cheaper supermarket stuff now and even then waited until it was marked at half price.
    Back in the late 60s I outfitted my entire kitchen with Tupperware for the same cost as buying one or two containers now.

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  14. Even back in the 70s when I was invited to one party after the next, it occurred to me that "retail" plus "shipping and handling" meant paying a generous line of "distributors, regional captains, sales reps and party demonstrators." I bought one (never used) veggie tray and one (used once) jello mold. Still have them, along with their stupid lids! My kids can sell them for 10 cents each at my estate sale!

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