Signs You Are becoming Cranky
My blogging friend, The Chubby Chatterbox http://thechubbychatterbox.blogspot.com/ , has in recent posts shown signs that he is creeping into the land of crankiness. This normally smiling, friendly, understanding, lover of art and humanity recently complained of annoying bumper stickers and (gasp!), even pointed out his wife’s failure to throw away a nectarine pit in defense of his own indiscretion.
I’d hate to see Stephen fall into this unhappy pit of crankiness, so I offer to him some warning signs that he may need help.
1. Signs, bumper stickers, and anything Kardashian makes you angry.
2. You yell at kids for cutting across your lawn.
3. You wear pants too large at the waist and constantly hitch them up above your belly button line.
4. You land by mistake on an all porn TV channel and declare “That’s disgusting!”
5. You landing by mistake on an all porn TV channel, declare “That’s disgusting!” and you mean it!
6. You Say “I remember when” or “That used to be a ____” several times a day.
7. You watch a movie and ask of the multiple Oscar award winning actor, “Who the fuck is that?”
8. After every TV commercial you ask, “What the hell are they selling?”
9. Dreams of Paris Hilton are considered nightmares, while dreaming of Judge Judy has you waking up with a smile.
10. You don’t want to see a doctor because, “What the hell could that kid know?”
If you are experiencing six or more of these symptoms you might consider moving to Florida, buying one of those metal detector things and walk up and down the beach looking for coins and lost rings while mumbling unintelligibly.