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Thursday, August 20, 2015

Signs You Are becoming Cranky

Signs You Are becoming Cranky
My blogging friend, The Chubby Chatterbox , has in recent posts shown signs that he is creeping into the land of crankiness.  This normally smiling, friendly, understanding, lover of art and humanity recently complained of annoying bumper stickers and (gasp!), even pointed out his wife’s failure to throw away a nectarine pit in defense of his own indiscretion.

I’d hate to see Stephen fall into this unhappy pit of crankiness, so I offer to him some warning signs that he may need help.

1.     Signs, bumper stickers, and anything Kardashian makes you angry.

2.     You yell at kids for cutting across your lawn.

3.     You wear pants too large at the waist and constantly hitch them up above your belly button line.

4.     You land by mistake on an all porn TV channel and declare “That’s disgusting!”

5.     You landing by mistake on an all porn TV channel, declare “That’s disgusting!” and you mean it!

6.     You Say “I remember when” or “That used to be a ____” several times a day.

7.     You watch a movie and ask of the multiple Oscar award winning actor, “Who the fuck is that?”

8.     After every TV commercial you ask, “What the hell are they selling?”

9.     Dreams of Paris Hilton are considered nightmares, while dreaming of Judge Judy has you waking up with a smile.

10.  You don’t want to see a doctor because, “What the hell could that kid    know?”

If you are experiencing six or more of these symptoms you might consider moving to Florida, buying one of those metal detector things and walk up and down the beach looking for coins and lost rings while mumbling unintelligibly.


  1. #8 I do that now and I'm not a cranky old fart yet.

  2. It happens to us all... least ways I think it does. I've had to start making notes lol

  3. All good crankiness indicators. Number 3, the pants above the belly one, is always a hoot.

  4. Is the metal detector on the beach really a 'thing'? I hadn't heard of that before.

    I notice #7 a lot these days. I often ask my kids if it's a boy or girl name as well!

  5. Oh, no, not Florida! Send him anywhere but Florida.

  6. This made perfect sense until you brought Florida into it. Yikes! Too hot..too sticky...I'm going to have to hold out for somewhere cooler.

    Ummm...I guess this makes me a full blown Crank, huh? ;)

  7. I got 4 of these so I guess I'm temporarily able to stay put where I am at. Good thing because I think the humidity in Florida would do me in.


  8. i was cranky about kids cutting across my lawn about 25 yrs ago (so i moved to the country as quickly as i could!) yeah, i'm always saying, 'who the crap is that?!' when it comes to singers, actors, reality stars, whoever. :)

  9. Okay, I'm still okay. I was worried there for a minute.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

  10. Hi Cranky Man,

    1. Yes
    2. Yes
    3. No
    4. No
    5. No
    6. Yes
    7. Yes
    8. Yes
    9. Yes to the Paris Hilton part - No to the Judge Judy part.
    10. No

    5.5 - Almost there, Cranky Man, Almost there.




  11. Kardashians don"t maskr me angry, just sad.

  12. If I do those things (moving to Florida, buying one of those metal detector things and walk up and down the beach looking for coins and lost rings while mumbling unintelligibly) will you be joining me?

  13. According to your list I am not cranky. Four way stops, people driving on my ass, slow drivers make me cranky...I guess it's all about driving these days.

  14. By this test, my hubby and I are not yet cranky. When he's feeling cranky, he'll say to me, "Hey you kids get offa my lawn." But he's actually happy when there are kids on our lawn. We don't know many of the young "celebrities" but we solved the agony of trying to remember the old familiar actors' faces by keeping our iPads nearby as we watch TV and looking people up on IMDB.

  15. OMG!! I just realized that I am cranky! I'll try to rein that in. But you, stay just the way you are. We like you that way.

  16. Ouch! I've got too many of those traits. Thanks a lot, Joe.

  17. Almost made a clean get away till you mentioned the metal detector. I really would love one of those.

  18. I experience six of these, so I guess that qualifies me as "cranky." I do watch Judge Judy, but I'm happy to report she hasn't appeared in my dream---yet. Thanks for the shout out.

  19. Cranky? I was BORN cranky, by cracky! And I've been crankin' ever since! Stephen the Chatterbox is Pollyanna by comparison. Not that anyone can compare to him, of course.

  20. Takes one to know one!

    ... Unfortunately, I scored pretty high on this test, too ... or at least I would if you took out the swear words. Oh, and please substitute some old dude in place of Judge Judy ...