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Sunday, July 27, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 072714


STUPID HEADLINES 072714

It is time once again for
"Was that wrong? Because if I knew it was wrong I never would have done that!"
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.


One headline may be completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-doo.  'None of the above' may be a correct answer.


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Michelle Obama: “There is no crack in our pies” – That Michelle, always complaining about something.

Obama gives protection to gay, transgender workers – That doesn’t seem fair, what about heterosexual, transgender workers?

A Romanian Man’s House was stolen and replaced with a cornfield - Police are looking for David Copperfield.

Tree planted in memory of George Harrison felled by beetles – This was going to be my fake headline next week!

Nazi war crimes suspect hospitalized in the US – “Paging Doctor Ira Rosenblatt please come to the ER we have an emergency, but take your time, no rush…really.” 

Mayfly Emergence So Huge It Shows Up On Weather Radar Damn, that is one friggin big Mayfly!

Alabama man claims genitals mistakenly amputated – Ah…ah…ah…CHOO! Oh shit!

 

Longhorns misspell 'Texas' in their 2014 football media guide – Texas coach says, “We play Football!  Spelling is not our strong smoot.”

 

London man eats 38 sticks of butter in 10 minutes breaking Guinness record - He broke the record for biggest case of diarrhea ever.

 

British inventor builds giant 'fart machine' to fire at FranceWill they even notice with all that stinky cheese?

 

Nevada education system ranked last in nation, report saysWhen questioned about this study, Nevada Superintendent of Public Instruction Dale Erquiaga said, “That be rediculum!”

 

New Jersey Turnpike Authority sues over Florida pizza shop logoBecause people in Florida who are looking for the Garden State Parkway may buy a pizza instead!

 


 

*Thanks to Uncle Skip for a Headline submission!

 


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Last week’s stupid headline was:


Intoxicated South River man arrested for breaking into his own house – Well he thought he was breaking into his neighbor’s house.


And the only winner:



I must have missed too many news stories from last week because I am not confident at all this time around. I am sure that some of the celebs spend way too much time thinking about themselves so I am guessing it is dude arrested for "breaking into his own house." One can't be charged for breaking and entering if you, the owner, are giving consent. 

Certainly, a male homeowner has been arrested more than once across the country for other stuff while "breaking into his own house"--but it is the other stuff that provides the actual legal charges.

Funny choices this week Joe.

It figures the Dude who posts analysis of interesting crimes would get this one! Follow Slamdunk @ http://theslamdunktrove.blogspot.com/


AND COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE


STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

17 comments:

  1. "Longhorns misspell 'Texas' in their 2014 football media guide"

    It's all part of their "Keep Austin Weird" campaign, which BTW is working VERY well.

    ReplyDelete
  2. going with the fart machine today. i smell monty python...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I actually have a neighbor, real nosy type, that takes a great interest in everything done, or not done, at my house or in my yard. I easily figure that if I lost my keys and had to break into my own house he'd call the cops in a New York minute.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Obviously, I have a slight edge if I enter.
    So I will recuse myself from judging the entries this week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I forgot to give you a proper plug. HEY EVERYONE dbl click on Uncle Skip up there above me and pay him a visit!

      Delete
  5. London man eats 38 sticks of butter in 10 minutes breaking Guinness record is my pick. I can't see this as even possible in a day let alone 10 minutes.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  6. Being a Londoner myself I will go for the 38 sticks of butter too LOL

    Have a scentedtastic Sunday ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Even if they're ALL true, they're very funny!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wheee.. Headline day!

    Some of these I know to be surprisingly true. Despite the incredible irony of the Beetle/Beatles headline, I'm going to go with the sticks of butter - by process of elimination.. so to speak.

    Oh and the testicular surgeon.. my first thought was "Oh nuts!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Nevada...sounds too Harry Potter.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I think the 38 sticks of butter is fake. Who could eat more than 37 sticks in 10 minutes, anyway?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Michelle Obama: “There is no crack in our pies” – That Michelle, always complaining about something.

    ^^^THIS one makes me LOL

    The fake? Definitely the British inventor who invented a fart machine. What the heck? Like, a giant Whoopie Cushion? or an actual machine that makes sounds with the smell and all that? I think that's fake. Besides, if there was a fart machine, my 5 sons would have one by now.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I was sorely tempted by the British fart machine and those (allegedly) illiterate Longhorns. However...I don't think Nevada's educational system ranks lowest in the nation. I think that title has been held for several years now by a different educational system a couple of states below me.

    Nevada Education is my official pick.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am going with the fart machine one. The English are to proper for that kind of stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Misspelling "Texas" gets my vote, although there are certainly other great ones here to choose from.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I should just relish in my victory rather than opening my mouth (or in this case start typing) and prove once again that I know nothing. Surprised that NV would get such a dubious award with MS and KY in the running, but I'll roll the dice with Texas misspelling their name. I remember an article from this week about thousands of MLB player jerseys containing a misspelled all-star's name, but maybe I missed the UT mess up.

    Enjoy your Monday, Joe.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm going with the Romanian man. I'm thinking I'm wrong, but the rest are so odd, they have to be true. :)

    ReplyDelete

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