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Sunday, July 20, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 072014

STUPID HEADLINES 072014

It is time once again for
Funny how that happens
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.


One headline may be completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.  'None of the above' may be a correct answer.

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Saudi women are allowed to cycle; but only around in circles – So the women’s movement isn't going anywhere in Saudi Arabia.

9-year-old drives grandpa's Jeep into house – I had to wait until I was 12 before my Grandpa let me drive his Jeep into the house.

Intoxicated South River man arrested for breaking into his own house – Well he thought he was breaking into his neighbor’s house.

Archie Andrews will die taking bullet for gay friend, comic publisher says – What does “taking a bullet” mean in gay code?

Woman sprays police with breast milk – “Get back! I’ve got titties and I’m not afraid to use them.”

Iowa Senate candidate Braley threatened lawsuit over chicken in his yard – An Iowa Senator complaining about a chicken is kinda like the Mayor of NYC complaining about street noise.

Sharon Stone is worried about how her butt looks – Damn, I got 99 problems but my butt ain't one!

Connecticut man arrested after stabbing watermelon – He is claiming self-defense…alcohol may have been a factor.

Company limits bathroom breaks to 6 minutes a day – Bad news for old people! It takes me 6 minutes to find my fly.

Pilot mistake means Ping-Pong balls rain on highway – OK, now I believe in Climate Change!

Rapper Andre Johnson explains why he severed his penis – I’m sorry, there is no possible explanation what-so-ever.

Smelling Passed Gas May Prevent Cancer and Other Diseases – Smelling passed gas, or poor health, which is it?  That is a tough call.

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Last week’s fake was:
Astronomers decide Pluto might be a Planet after all – It will always be Mickey’s dog to me.

And the winners are:
i'm going for pluto just to give it a bit of limelight...
Great photos and stuff at the ranch @ http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com/

Astronomers decide Pluto might be a Planet after all

No they didn't; it's way too soon to say they were wrong.
Sorry I didn't jump in last week; I knew the answer. Or did I?
Visit Joanne for wisdom and some sneaky wit @ http://cuponthebus.blogspot.com/

I'll go with, "Astronomers decide Pluto might be a Planet after all".

Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. :)Funny silly Sunday stuff @ http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/

I'll piggy back onto those who chose the Pluto one. Personally, I'm a liberal and I don't think it possible to heap enough abuse onto the half-term gov. of Alaska, a state built and maintained on Federal dollars. But enough of that. Happy Weekend
A liberal poke on Stupid Headline Sunday? He is still real talented so visit Stephen @ http://www.chubbychatterbox.com/

I'm copying Joanne. Pluto. Actually I guessed that earlier today... But I wasn't sure what the demoted planet was.. Uranus? Jk.
She peaked in Jr. High, but she is still worth a visit! @ http://peakedinjuniorhigh.blogspot.com/

Val
I've gotta stick with my science roots and pick "Pluto is again a planet" as the fake. The basis for declaring it not a planet was its wonky orbit. I doubt that it has straightened up and is flying right.
She was not her class Victorian for nothing, find out why @ http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/

Tough choices. I was down to two Thicke vs. Pluto and I am going with the latter. I think Pluto is permanently out of the plant club.
You never know what you will get, but it is always a Slam Dunk @ http://theslamdunktrove.blogspot.com/

I hate it when the readers kick my fake headline butt!

Here is a special shout out to Pixel.  She missed the fake but made up for it with a funny comment.

I'm going with the 14,000 draft notices. And I think Sarah Palin is amazing...in the way that every time she opens her mouth, an entire scrabble game falls out.

I had to respond:

That is just mean Pixel, and not true. The entire game does not fall out, she is missing the I and the Q.
Visit all the winners and Pixel too, and come back next week for more


STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

13 comments:

  1. good golly, i was in a crowd of right folks last week! :) the palin exchange was too funny.

    i'm gonna pick the gas pass.

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  2. Well, I really don't know since some of these are way over the top. I'm going to go with, company limits bathroom breaks to 6 minutes a day. I just can't see how you could enforce this.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

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  3. What exactly would you have to seed a cloud with to get it to rain ping pong balls? That sounds like a science fair project that went awry.

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  4. I pick making up even more stupid answers. I think Sara Palin and the scrabble game is priceless.

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  5. I'm going with the ping pong ball one. Several of the most outlandish ones on your list I recall reading and know they're true.

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  6. Oh - thanks for the special shout-out!

    I had no idea what to pick this week. Then I tried to picture Saudi women cycling. I just can't imagine it's possible to cycle in a burka. So I'm picking that as the fake.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hm. I almost went for the Circling Saudi Cyclers, but I think I'll hitch my wagon to the Raining Ping Pong Balls. Unless he was supposed to drop them in another location, I think there's more that PILOT error involved for a load of ping pong balls to get loose and open up the airplane windows.

    I don't know why I try to reason these things out. It is rarely effective.

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  8. All good and ridiculously possible, but smelling gas to prevent cancer. Hmmm...

    Loved your opinions on each. Got a few LOLs.

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  9. Bicycling in circles. I believe they are permitted to drive a car there.

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  10. I must have missed too many news stories from last week because I am not confident at all this time around. I am sure that some of the celebs spend way too much time thinking about themselves so I am guessing it is dude arrested for "breaking into his own house." One can't be charged for breaking and entering if you, the owner, are giving consent.

    Certainly, a male homeowner has been arrested more than once across the country for other stuff while "breaking into his own house"--but it is the other stuff that provides the actual legal charges.

    Funny choices this week Joe.

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  11. I have no idea. You found some great ones, though. They all are absolutely insane. And I'll be pissed off if they kill Archie Andrews off for any reason, so I hope that's the fake!

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  12. And no one commented on the woman who sprayed her breast milk at a cop??? I had to laugh to myself because being rather busty and having had 4 children.. Well, hey, that breast milk has a way of spraying everywhere! Just sayin' ;)

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