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Thursday, July 24, 2014

YOU SAY HELLO, I SAY GOODBYE


YOU SAY HELLO, I SAY GOODBYE

Look, I am just not fond of talking on the telephone.   I love to text, when used properly: “B thr in 5” or “OK” or “Can’t do it…thx” and so on; is great.  I like anything to convey a message without having to go through massive chit-chat.  I hate chit-chat.

Chit-chat is just passing time.  Chit-chat on the phone is just some peoples thumb-twiddling.  I don’t mind actual thumb-twiddling because it doesn’t take up my time.

Women are particularly guilty of this verbal thumb-twiddling.  If they are in the car “doing nothing” they call someone and twiddle thumbs together.  To me, driving a car is not doing “nothing,” I do not answer the phone when I am driving.  Some men are also guilty of telephone thumb-twiddling.  I just tell them, “Dude, you are like a woman on the phone.”  Apparently that is politically incorrect.


RTIt is now apparently incorrect to tell someone they “throw like a girl.”  I understand that, but it is so much easier than saying, “You step with the wrong foot and lead with your arm not your body and couldn’t hit he broadside of a barn”…I’m just sayin.


One reason Mrs. C and I are compatible is she shares this aversion to long telephone chatting about nothing.  Our conversations generally go like this:

“I’m leaving work now.”

“Ok, see ya soon.”

Or

“Don’t forget to take out the garbage.”

“Ok, see ya soon.”

Or

“You’re a jerk!”

“Ok, see ya soon.”

Mrs. Cranky does have trouble getting rid of telephone thumb- twiddlers though.  She is way too nice.  Some people call her to just vent their own uninteresting shit, and she does not know how to end the blather.

I suggest she use the old “My attery is unning ow” excuse.  She just can’t do it.  I suggest she claim she is late for an appointment.   She can’t do it.  Mrs. Cranky sometimes gets calls late at night and still she listens.

Her biggest flaw is she responds every so often in the middle of the twiddling with an “Oh WOW!”  I tell her the “Oh WOW!” may be polite, but it is telling the caller, “Damn this is interesting.”  Instead she should resort to and occasional “Uh huh” followed by “What was that? I got distracted by my falling eyelids.”

She can’t do it, she is too nice.

I screen all my calls.  I have to as I keep getting chased down by a bill collector trying to collect on a utility bill that my ex-wife ran up after I was thrown out of my house.  If I don’t know a number I don't answer.  If it is so important, they can leave a message. 

Mrs. Cranky answers every call.  She thinks it is rude to not answer the phone. 

She says hello.

I say good bye.

13 comments:

  1. once again, i am so not a typical female. i HATE phones. would rather email than talk. :)

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  2. Hate the phone with a passion. Rarely answer it. Therefore, peeps rarely call. Works out well.

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  3. Girly response here. I love the phone.. particularly since I'm now living so far from family and friends. I can talk and listen for hours. Frank hates the phone every bit as much as you do. That works in his favour whenever we need a telephone/internet/utility repair of some sort. I'm the one who ends up on hold for hours.

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  4. You and I handle the phone the very same way. If I don't know who's calling I won't answer the phone. I hate that blasted thing.

    Have a fabulous phone free day. ☺

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  5. I'm not male but I SO agree with you on this one. Blather-ers are on my list right up there with public nose pickers and halitosis.

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  6. It's a sorry fact that I get very few phone calls. If it weren't for the robocalls from Rite-Aid telling me my prescriptions are ready I wouldn't get any at all. Except from my 86 year old mother, and she's the reason I need that medication.

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  7. My kids used to complain I never answered the phone or the messages. Simple. The phone lived in my car and I never checked the messages.

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  8. I have a cousin that once during a long phone call, the line went dead on us
    mid-conversation, She did not know this for 10 minutes and continued talking. Shows how much I was needed on the other end.

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  9. Fortunately I'm able to say what needs to be said on the phone while cutting out the small talk. What I hate is texting. That's because I can talk a lot faster t h a n I c a n h u n t a n d p e c k o n a t I n y l I t t l e k e y b o a r d.

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  10. I prefer email over phone calls, especially at work. There will never be a question about what was said or needed. People keep emails shorter, and you can look it over before sending it. I like texting, too, for the quick and easy informal stuff. My phone knows what I like to text - if I send a text to my husband, the words "At," "work," and "now" automatically appear and I just have to select them. Love modern technology!

    If you ever get stuck with a thumb twiddler on the phone, the trick to hanging up is to do it while you are talking, not the other person. Nobody would suspect you of hanging up on yourself, so to speak.

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  11. I love to talk on the phone. My name is Val, and I'm a blatherer. Here's what Mrs. Cranky needs to do. While trying to get off the phone, walk to the door and ring her own doorbell. Then say, "I've got to go, somebody's at the door." At least that's how people used to get rid of me.

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  12. I'm with you; I screen calls; also I don't like to talk on the phone. My great excuse during the day is "I'm working, I get paid production, so if I'm not typing, I'm not making money." I honestly wouldn't even have a phone except for emergencies.

    betty

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  13. I don't like talking on the phone much, say it fast and say goodbye, that's my style.

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