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Tuesday, July 29, 2014


Every day I see on Facebook people taking a quiz to determine which famous world leader they would be, or what occupation they should have, or who are they as smart as, or what animal they would be, or…well you know the quiz.  I don’t know how, but I am certain someone is making money off these stupid quizzes.  I never take them because I am afraid I would fail.

But I have no qualms about posting my own stupid quiz:


1.    A photographer is stalking you, you:

a.     Smile

b.    Dance like a fool

c.     Throw eggs at the camera

d.    Take off your clothes and make a porn movie

e.     Drink a fifth of scotch

2.    You are in a fender bender car accident and the other driver screams and makes a big scene, you:

a.     Assume full responsibility

b.    Make a lame excuse

c.     Throw eggs at the other driver

d.    Take off your clothes and make a porn movie

e.     Drink a fifth of scotch

3.    You are in a movie theater and another patron is making noise and playing with their cell phone, you:


a.     Ask what he is watching on the cell phone

b.    Ask what is a cell phone
c.     Throw eggs at him

d.    Ask him to use the cell phone to video you taking off your clothes and make a porn movie

e.     Drink a fifth of scotch

4.    A police officer stops you for J-walking, you:

a.     Claim you are color blind and thought red was green

b.    Say that is how you always walk

c.     Throw eggs at the cop

d.    Take off your clothes and make a porn movie

e.     Offer the officer a slug from your scotch bottle

5.    You find a twenty dollar bill in the street, you:

a.     Pick it up and leave a thank you note

b.    Leave a note saying your twenty dollar bill is under this note

c.     Use the bill to blow your nose…and then throw eggs at it

d.    Pick up the bill and leave a DVD of your porn movie

e.     Drink a fifth of scotch

If you even took this test, you are Jughead

If you took this test seriously, you are Gilligan

If you are too good to take the test even as a joke, you are Justin Bieber

If you took the test in the nude, you are Paris Hilton
If you took the test and then drank a fifth of scotch, you are David Hasselhoff

Who are you?


  1. too funny!

    1 - smile
    2 - very firmly tell them to get control - and then scream back if they don't.
    3 - i haven't seen a movie in a theater in about 6 yrs because of rude people.
    4 - accept full responsibility, smile and hope he lets me off with a warning.
    5 - it's mine. all mine.

    i don't drink scotch. :)

  2. I went along for the ride and smiles so I guess that makes me a skeptical Jughead.

  3. These tests are springing up everywhere. What kind of dinosaur would you be? Which Disney or Star Wars character are you? Mrs. Chatterbox recently gave me one of these quizzes to determine which color I was....WHITE! I don't even think that's a color.

    1. You are correct, Stephen! White is NOT a color - it is the presence of light. And black is the absence of light - and of color.
      OCD Art Teacher

  4. I only took one quiz - it told me I was the Queen - I no longer feel the need to justify myself by taking quizzes ...

  5. The answer to your J-walking question is, you tell him that you are using an unmarked crosswalk.

  6. c f (other) c a a

  7. I'm still drinking the booze.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  8. Hasselhoff, but I drank a beer instead. Does that disqualify me?

  9. Gilligan I suppose. You mean they AREN'T real?? :(

  10. I got a 100% because, well, I'm VALedictorian. However, I really want a cheeseburger. Hasselhoff made it look SO delicious.

  11. well accrording to mqy calculations, li've consumed four vfifths of scotch, minus onse slug. so what does tlhat maeke me? oh yeah.. drunk. ;)

  12. It scares me SCARES ME to see how many people get sucked into these quizes. Also scares me to see the results. However, I'm one of the fools who checks Facebook to find out who everybody really is. I even scare myself a lot.

  13. As one of the few people on the planet who doesn't do Facebook I've missed this exciting activity. Too bad for me....:)

  14. I read through the test but did not take it. Does that make me Eddie Haskell? I avoid FB anyway.

  15. I agree with everything you and all your readers write...what kind of a jerk does that make me?...and do I really care?

  16. Oh no! I'm Justin Beiber. What a horrifying thought.

  17. good one, joe... people seem to live by those quizzes. life wouldn't be complete without knowing who they are... (i didn't take your quiz.. just skipped to the bottom to see what my options would have been... LOL)