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Wednesday, July 2, 2014

THE WEATHER DUDE


THE WEATHER DUDE

I woke up this morning to our local cable news channel.   The weather dude was on.  I was planning to do lots of stuff today.  I had to go to the bank, get a haircut, do some gardening, and maybe even get in nine holes of golf.  After listening to the weather dude I’m staying home.

It is going to be 92 degrees today.  With the heat humidity index it will feel like 99. I was warned “If you must go out, wear light loose fitting clothes.”  Good thing I tuned in, I would never have thought of that.

“Don’t go out without water, it is important to stay hydrated.”  Hot, sweaty and thirsty you should stay hydrated…great advice, I’d never have thought of that.

“The air quality is called too dangerous for the very young or the very old.”  I think I’m very old, the weather dude did not specify who qualifies.

"If you know an old person without air-conditioning take him to the library, a movie or the supermarket to cool off." I tried to drag Mrs. Kravitz off to the supermarket, but she dialed 9-1-1 on me. 

“Tree pollen and grass pollen is high.”  So…be careful how you breathe?

“The sunburn index is high, be sure to wear plenty of sun screen.” Well I’m glad I heard that, 92 degrees and the sun will be out.  Who would a thunk it?

“Don’t forget those shades!”  Once again 92 degrees, the sun, I may need sun glasses…thank god for the weather dude.

“At the shore, there may be rip currents, so only swim where there is a guard.”  Well yeah, probably always good advise.  Thanks weather dude!

So it’s 7:30 in the morning and in three minutes I’ve been warned about oppressive heat, dangerous air quality, the need to stay hydrated, dangerous pollen, dangerous sunburn potential, blinding sunlight, and risk of drowning at the beach.

In the words of the weather dude, “If you have to leave the house, be careful.”

I’m not messing with the weather dude.  I’m staying home. 

21 comments:

  1. Those weather dudes can be masters of the obvious sometimes :)

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  2. Ahhh the weather dudes.....we hate the weather dudes because they are never right. Plus they have a way of making you paranoid of "weather" related items and upcoming doom

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  3. All that advice from the weather dudes and dudettes makes me pretty cranky. I have pretty much figured out when I need to wear a coat.


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  4. Gosh, Cranky, I hope you survive the day, not to mention the weather!

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  5. Thank goodness there are so many experts out there to tell you what you already know. Bless their hearts.

    Have a fabulous day and stay cool. ☺

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  6. We've come a long way from our pioneer forefathers who crossed the continent and passed through dangerous plains and blistering deserts.I wish I were made of such stuff.

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  7. Our weather dudes here in southern CA make a few raindrops seem like a hurricane. They stand outside in rain gear, under an umbrella, holding the microphone in a death grip while saying, "It's getting really BAD out here! Stay inside if you can!" -- Whenever we get so much as an inch of rain, this is how they act. So embarrassing. What must the east coasters think of us?

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    1. What's rain?

      Oh, yeah... that stuff we had here in NorCal in February.

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  8. Every time I watch the local weather dude, I wanna ask, "What are you ...New?"
    He's always telling us stuff like we never heard it before.


    ...and he gets more air time than the freakin' President.

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  9. LOL Hilarious! I wonder how many other "Mrs. Kravitzes" were drug outta their cozy little nests against their will and dumped out at the library or grocery store for grandma day care? Did the Good Samaritans remember to pick them up at closing time?

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  10. I'm not a weather dude. I'm not even a weather dudette. But take my advice:

    Couch, iced coffee, remote control.

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  11. What Peeper said. Here in Dallas the Weather Dude gives us the forecast, the pollen count, the TempHumid Index....I'm just waiting for them to come up with The Daily Weather Death Count.

    S

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  12. Basically it's hot and we should stay inside and drink ice cold beers and do nothing. Sounds good to me.

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  13. Good plan. For me weeks of rain has me worried about body mold.

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  14. Seems like we never get plain ol' rain anymore. It's always a threat of severe thunderstorms or isolated showers. Not a chance, mind you. A THREAT.

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  15. Hay, you have to give them credit. Saves us from looking out the window to see what is going on.

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  16. I should have checked the weather duxe out before left the house. I never knew he had so much good advice.

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  17. Staying home seems like a mighty fine idea to me, especially on a 92 degree day.
    Our weather dudes are girls and lately they've been telling me it's going to rain, yet I keep waking up to blue skies and sunshine.

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  18. Listen to the weather dude - don't go out! Unless you actually HAVE to go out, in which case ..... ummm, go out ...!

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