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Thursday, January 22, 2015

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"


"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
I generally post a Mrs. Cranky story on Thursdays, but lately she gives me so much material I may have to do two Mrs. Cranky posts a week.
We recently discovered a cable channel that is very interesting.  When nothing else is on, this is our go to station.  The station has stories of women killing men 24/7.  We call it the “Women killing Men” station.
Last Saturday I was in my basement cave watching golf and futsing around with my guitar.  Mrs. Cranky was upstairs taking a nap. The show she was watching before nodding off on her Saturday nap was “Wives with Knives.”
Suddenly Mrs. C came downstairs and was pissed at me.  It seems she had a dream within a dream.  I was doing something in the closet that got her upset.  She “woke up” and thought I was in the bathroom.  She started to complain to me about what I had done in the closet when she woke up for real and realized I was actually in the basement.  Still she was angry with me.
“I dreamed you were fooling with stuff in my closet.  You need to stay away from my stuff in the closet!”
“Kare…it was a dream.”
“Well it seemed real, and then I dreamed I woke up.  I had a dream inside a dream, it was weird and it was somehow your fault.”
“How many times do I have to tell you I am not responsible for anything I do inside your dreams?”
“I know!  Still it is hard to get out of my head.  Even in my dreams you are a jerk!”
This Saturday while I was relaxing in my basement cave I got a text from Mrs. C who awoke from her Saturday nap,
“Another dream in a dream, you are killing me.”
I went upstairs.
“What now?”
“Once more I dreamed you were doing stuff in my closet.  I thought I woke up and you were still being a jerk.  Then I woke up for real; it was another dream in a dream.”
“Again; I am not responsible for anything I may do inside your dreams”
Here comes the comment from Mrs. C that scares me and yet in some strange way endears her to me.
“I wanted to text, 'I’m going to kill you' but I thought that if anything does happen to you they would suspect me.”
I think she needs to take her nap while watching “Say YES to the Dress.”

14 comments:

  1. Dang, you watch a lot of TV! And I've never heard of those stations. I must have the economy cable package...just news and sports.

    Maybe if she nodded off watching porn she'd text you.... ;)

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  2. LOL with the text, she was wise not to have anything that might incriminate her. I have had dreams where hubby has cheated on me and when I wake up am mad at him, LOL. Powerful things those dreams.

    betty

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  3. You need to dump those channels above 999.

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  4. I agree with Joanne 100%! Do it NOW!!!

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  5. I think she needs to quit watching that show. Yikes. You've such an interesting household.

    Have a fabulous day and watch out for Mrs. C. ☺

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  6. DANGER, CRANKY ROBINSON!!! MRS. CRANKY SMITH IS OUT TO GET YOU. TIME TO FIND A NEW SPACE SHIP?

    My apologies to "Lost in Space" fans.

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  7. i'm laughing!! yes, better not to put that into a text as it'll come back to bite her someday!

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  8. She's one of my favorite people!!

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  9. Hi Crankyman,

    Mrs PM suffers from the same problem.

    :o)

    Cheers

    PM

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  10. Actually you may have saved your life by putting this post out there. Now she doesn't dare do you in. Better than a text and we are witnesses. You might want to block some channels.

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  11. I'm with lowandslow. Ditch the knife channel and get some porn channel. Or cooking channel.

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  12. My husband used to watch that stuff all the time. I called them his "How to Murder Your Wife" shows. Thank goodness for the wave of pickers and junkers and Alaska-living programs.

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  13. I've had a few weird dreams within dreams, they can be a little scary.
    Most of my weird dreams are just dreams though, single level dreams, not scary, and I get them when I eat ice cream late at night.
    I'm wondering what your wife is hiding in her closet.
    There's a website called Wives with Knives, it's recipes.

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