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Monday, January 19, 2015

P-WHIPPED - a cranky re-run

This cranky re-run is from January 2012

There is a fine line between being pussey-whipped and being abused.
Most guys will tell their friends, that they do whatever they want in a relationship and still get laid on a regular basis.  Most guys will lie to their friends.  Most friends know they are lying.  It is all part of the code.

If in fact you do whatever you want in a relationship and still get laid on a regular basis then you are probably an abuser.

If you do whatever your wife tells you and do not get laid on a regular basis, you are not pussey-whipped, you are being abused.

If you do whatever your wife tells you and get laid on a regular basis are you pussey-whipped?  Hell yes and who cares?  You are getting laid on a regular basis!

Guys need three things to be content; food, shelter, and to get laid on a regular basis.  Whatever (legal of course) it takes to get these three things is perfectly acceptable to any man, as long as he can still lie to his friends about much of what he does.

The ideal relationship of course is one of give and take.  Your wife needs to spend some time with just the girls; you should have occasional time with just the guys.  Your wife needs to watch girly shows on the TV, fine, as long as you can watch football on Sunday and Monday night. 
However, as long as you have food, shelter, and are getting laid on a regular basis that is compromise enough.  Is that being pussey-whipped?  It is the definition of being P-whipped, who cares – YOU ARE GETTING LAID ON A REGULAR BASIS! 

Single guys will take a lady to a fancy expensive restaurant, bring her flowers and chocolate, dress up to the nines, polish their shoes, be the total gentleman all night, and miss a crucial game on TV, all on the off-chance of getting laid.  They never consider this as being pussey-whipped.
If I do the dishes, fold the laundry and watch a “Say Yes to the Dress” marathon knowing I will get laid that night (of course I never do these things), these same single guys who only hope to get lucky will call me pussey-whipped.   So be it.  As long as I GET LAID ON A REGULAR BASIS!

The above is of course only a fictitious example of what some married men will do.  It bears no resemblance to my own relationship in which of course I completely rule the roost.  Right Mrs. Cranky? Right? Right?  Hello!


  1. And that my friend is what we call "playing with fire."

    I'm sure Mrs Cranky understands. And I'm sure it won't hurt that much.

  2. There is a recurrent theme in your writing today and I guess whatever it takes to get there (as long as it is legal like you said), one should pursue it as long as it ultimately makes them happy :)


  3. It just cracks me up when ALL of the men in our family will occasionally declare, "Don't boss me around! I'm not like (insert name of any brother or father-in-law)"
    Sure you're not! Suuuuure you're not!!!!

  4. I am just not going to go there, Joeh ... No, indeed!

  5. No, you've told the truth here. Men will do almost anything to get laid on a regular basis and some men will do anything. You've told the truth.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

  6. As long as "a regular basis" doesn't mean YEARLY!!

  7. I think I'm detecting an undercurrent of frustration here. That's all I got. Time to move on.

  8. Good definition! If both parties are happy in the relationship, who cares?!

  9. The silence at the end of this post is deafening. Ha. I think my wife and I have an equal partnership, but that might be what a whipped husband would say.

  10. Number 6!
    Read my blog post from yesterday.
    If those two are being handled, shelter isn't an issue.

    1. I did read it, but had to go back. #6 is dead on...and also funny.

  11. What a scream! I snorted ice tea on my laptop. I hope you're satisfied mister :)

  12. What is this "getting laid" you're talking about?

  13. Well, let's kick Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs to the curb, and replace it with Cranky's Heirarchy of Needs. Only THREE levels to memorize.