STUPID HEADLINES 011815
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
One headline may be completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-doo. 'None of the above' may be the correct answer.
California man pays $4.8M for 26 cents – So his opinion is worth what, about $385,000?
Saudi cleric declares snowmen as being anti-Islamic – Is he actually talking about snowmen, or is he referring to Iceis?
Huckabee slams Obama for letting daughters listen to Beyoncé – Seriously Mike, is that all you got?
Federal report says Border Patrol's drone program doesn't fly – I’m pretty sure they make them with wings and propellers and stuff that will make them actually fly!
Proof of life? Soccer legend Diego Maradona receives letter with Fidel Castro's signature – Dear Diego, congratulations on winning this year’s World Cup in Mexico.
Patrick Reed reveals very pale forehead in Hyundai TOC Golf win – Talk about your slow sports news day!
Sink falls from sky and lands in farmhouse…no one hurt – Farmer wakes up yelling, “Alright, alright I’ll swim!”
Angry llama-alpaca hybrid attacks volunteer – OK, maybe GMO’s aren’t safe. I’ll have to think twice about buying a Labradoodle.
This Dog Rides The Bus To The Park And Makes Everyone’s Day – Just because she is not very pretty, you shouldn’t call her a dog.
Whale vomit is an APHRODISIAC – Maybe, but have you ever tried to stick your finger down a whale’s throat?
Woman has baby one hour after doctors tell her she’s pregnant – They told her in the evening, so she totally missed that whole morning sickness thing.
ISIS leader orders failed fighters executed – Great recruiting slogan “Join or we kill you, fight or we kill you, win or we kill you.” Where can I sign up?
Last week’s fake headline was:
Alcohol poisoning kills 6 a day, mostly middle-aged men – Interesting…there should be a study on this.
Anxiety from PMS shown to increase in middle-age women, study shows - Hmmm, I guess there is no need for that middle age men study after all.
Well the PMS thing following the Alcohol thing was the fake…see what I did there?
I even fooled fishducky!
But Sandee figured it out…damn she is tough!
Anxiety from PMS shown to increase in middle-age women, study shows is my pick this week.
Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺
Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺
Find Sandee @ http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/ Check out her silly Sunday and everyone on her linky…always lots of fun!
Oh, I almost forgot: Thanks to Val the Dictorian for a headline submission.
Visit Val @ http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/ really fun stuff, I don’t why more people don’t follow!
Following a suggestion from that excellent Canadian Photog, brilliant punster and more blogger Hilary @ http://thesmittenimage.blogspot.com/ This week's comments will be withheld until Wednesday so as not to influence (Val and Stephen!!) other guessers.
Go visit Hilary as well…eh.
Congratulate our winner and come back next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!
Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!! I think it's Sink falls from sky and lands in farmhouse…no one hurtReplyDelete
Ummm, s'cuse me, but you forgot to add this disclaimer to #8: "MOST llama-alpaca hybrids are peaceful, law abiding creatures."ReplyDelete
And this week, put me down for whatever Sandee picks.
the pale forehead is tempting, but i'll go with sink or swim, alex. :)ReplyDelete
I'll be back later. I've already eliminated a bunch of these as I've read them already. I'm down to three.ReplyDelete
Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. :)
And you say you can't keep up with punning! That sink or swim headline and subsequent remark has to be it.ReplyDelete
It also reminds me of something I once read. The corporate washroom at some big company had a carved sign placed above the bathroom sink for employees to see and ponder. It simply said "THINK." The next day, there was a handwritten note taped up beside it, with an arrow pointing downward which responded with "THOAP."
“Alright, alright I’ll swim!”ReplyDelete
Is a great followup to a fake headline
Whale vomit? Gross.ReplyDelete
I think I'll take the Sky Sink. It's raining plumbing fixtures? Something for nothing? That's too good to be true.ReplyDelete
I talked myself out of Castro's John Henry, because it was probably a form letter with a name stamp, and the vicious llampaca because I think they're notoriously cranky like camels. Perhaps I'm over-analyzing...
I'm going with whale vomit. Figuring the maybe they'd vomit up garbage from the ocean...you know, cruise liner trash like plastic bags. Can't see how that might me an aphrodisiac.ReplyDelete
You're making this harder; I've usually read half the headlines and know they're real, and now you won't let me cheat. For me this is a very humbling feature, like that ten year old kid on Jeopardy a few weeks ago who beat me in the Art category. Anyway, I pick sink falls from sky, even though if it had it probably would have landed on ME!ReplyDelete
Sink falls from sky and lands in farmhouse…no one hurt is my pick.ReplyDelete
Have a fabulous day Cranky. Hello to Mrs. Cranky. ☺