Stupid Headlines 020517

Stupid Headlines 020517

It’s time again for

That's still gotta be illegal

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 

________________________

To avoid offending patients, don’t use term ‘expectant mother’ – Something to do with offending transgender people…I don’t know I’m too old to understand.

American Airlines employee discovers $434G worth of cocaine in plane's nose gear – That plane is high even when it’s on the ground.

Florida pastor caught with man's wife, flees naked – I’m pretty sure there is a “Thou shalt not…” that covers this situation.  Is there something in the water in Florida?

Muslim Cleric Who Had 130 Wives Dies Aged 93 – He just couldn’t face one more Valentine’s Day.

LEGO Batman Movie Is Updated to Feature a ‘More Diverse’ Gotham City – Movie added characters made from pipe cleaners, clay and erector sets to be more inclusive.

Fish can't talk, so they pee instead – How do they say, “I’ve gotta pee”?

Mississippi school district moves forward with desegregation plan – No rush, it’s only been a law for 60 something years.

2-Ton ‘Target’ Ball Gets Loose In Paramus Parking Lot – Ball bounced off a pick-up truck, an SUV, and a sports car before slipping into the gutter just missing the tenpin*. 

'El Chapo' lawyers say jail conditions are too strict in NYC – How’s a fellow supposed to tunnel his way out when he’s surrounded by tons of concrete?

Substitute Teacher Arrested After Cartwheeling in Front of Choir Class Without Underwear – She was just trying to get the altos to hit a high note.

Woman claims she was booted from Spirit flight for showing too much cleavage – This is ridiculous. There is no such thing as too much cleavage!

Boston Marathon bombing survivor to marry firefighter who saved her – Who to save…who to save, Eenie meenie minee, WHOA!

*Bowlers will think this is funny.

AND THE FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK:

She claims she gave Denzel Washington his first library card. Then he shows up on her birthday

http://shareably.net/denzel-washington-childhood-librarian/?utm_source=greatergood&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=greatergood

COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY