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Thursday, April 18, 2013

Why Won’t You Dance?


Why Won’t You Dance?
 

Mrs. C’s hobby is Ball Room dancing.  She is an amateur, but she is pretty good.  I appreciate the skill and effort it takes to dance, but I have no interest in learning.  Mrs. Cranky recently wanted to know why I am so unwilling to participate in one of her favorite activities.


There is a “Seinfeld” episode (I know Val at http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/  knows immediately which one I am going to relate) where Elaine makes a fool of herself with her bad dancing.  She thinks she is good.  I did not get this episode right away because I also thought she was good.  Therein lies my dancing problem.
 


I am not talking about Ball Room dancing, I am talking freeform make up your own steps bullshit dancing that 90% of the world does to any music today.  I watch these dancers at weddings today, and way back- when at school parties.  To me it is just a bunch of foot shuffling, arm swinging, head bobbing, facial expression crap.  Whenever I tried to participate and shuffle-swing-bob-sneer, I thought I was really cool. And yet, people laughed at me.

They laughed at me!

I look at all these idiots doing their own fertility-ritualistic-strutting version of dancing and I think, “Damn, they all look like a bunch of assholes” and when I decide to join in because it seems like the thing to do…EVERYBODY LAUGHS AT ME!

Apparently I dance funny.  I look stupid!

I think everyone looks like complete idiots when they dance (not the Ball Room stuff).  I only ever attempted to dance because of peer pressure…and I get laughed at!

Come on Joe, get up and dance…its fun.”

No thanks, I’ll just watch.”

Don’t be a party pooper, dance.”

Ok.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha you look like a spasticated monkey!”

Maybe I am a bit of a clown.  When a clown dances people expect him to look funny.  They don’t see themselves and how silly they look, they only see the clown and they laugh.

Personally I think I dance pretty well.  I think I look cool; me and Elaine.

That is why I don’t dance.

20 comments:

  1. Ah Joe! Get outta my head!

    (In other words, ditto, me too.)

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  2. I would love to take ballroom dancing and fortunately, so would my hubby.

    There is a line in the movie "Phenomenon" where a guy asks Robert Duvall, "Why does HE (John Travolta) get the girl (Kyra Sedgewick)?" Duvall answers, "Because he bought her chairs." Meaning, if you want to get the girl, you have to get into what she does. Of course, you already got the girl.

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  3. Oh, and that video of Mrs C. is very cool. I'm impressed!

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  4. I hope Mrs. C can get you out on the dance floor. Don't let those bozos from long ago stop you....and let Mrs. C lead.

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  5. I went to a wedding party last Saturday. There was a DJ and something the young kids called 'music'. It certainly had a lot of loud drumming! I wouldn't call any of what was going on on the dance floor 'dancing'. No one wanted any kind of slow dancing or even a bit of jiving. We all stood there wiggling around pretending to be doing some kind of 'dance'. I 'danced' with 5 girlfriends at the same time for about 20 minutes. It was awful...

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  6. Oh, yes ... your wife is beautiful and charming and can dance for real -- a pleasure to watch...

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  7. Dang Mrs. C can move becasue ballroom dancing is no joke! Come one Cranky give it a try ;0)

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  8. I'm coordination-challenged, too, Joe. I've had people come over to me while I was "dancing" and ask if I was OK? Was I having some sort of medical emergency? Did I need them to call 911?

    I can't even watch Dancing With The Stars. It's too hurtful. ;)

    S

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  9. When it comes to dancing my feet seldom get the right signal from my head.
    Then it's a beat late.

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  10. When I dance people think I'm having a seizure. It's humiliating.

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  11. i loved that seinfeld episode! :)

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  12. I can't dance to save my life. You wouldn't even catch me trying. One of the reasons I took up belly dancing - Serious personal challenge

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  13. You need to work your comedic ability and own your Elaine dance. The world needs more reasons to laugh. Your blog is a great example of good humor. Those up-tight swellheads can go to hell.

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  14. p.s. I think fun dancing has gone the way of fun singing. We see and hear so much polished stuff on the screen that any attempt on our part looks amateur by comparison. All dancing and singing purely for entertainment is stifled out of us by the time we're five. Kudos still goes to the ones like Mrs. C who've mastered the fancy stuff.

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  15. I never understood how folks could dance with so many clothes on

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  16. Another home run, Joe.

    When I was young I was too shy and inhibited to dance so I went to Arthur Murray and took a few lessons and failed the course...mostly because my instructor had other things on his mind and I already knew how to wrestle....but that is another story, Then I discovered booze and became a fabulous dancer but then something terrible happened. They stopped playing music and the stuff that was being performed to that cacaphony of noise was more graceless jerking and twitching than anything else. Sob. Even if I were still drinking, no amount of booze could help me with what music and dance have become. Would be punishable by death if I were in charge of things and for laughing at you the penalty would be even worse.

    Was that Mrs. C in the first tango? She is great and gorgeous
    too....I am happy for you......no, really.
    Luv, Lo

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  17. I dont recall who said "Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astair did but backward and in heels..."Lovely dancing, Mrs. C

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  18. When my husband and I were dating we used to go out dancing at clubs. I enjoyed dancing with him a lot, until he caught me doing "The Pony," and teased me about it. Now I'm not so much into dancing any more...

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  19. One of the benefits of growing older and wiser is that I don't pay attention to the critiques of others. Dance if it makes you happy.

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  20. SD and I do the monkey thing and it makes us happy but watching Mrs C (in that beautiful dress!) makes me wish we could do the real stuff.

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