ALL THESE AWARDS ARE
JUST REDICULOUS
In my first book,
shamelessly self-published and purchased by 17 people on amazon who thought
they were selecting Whoopi’s book, there is a chapter on celebrities and the
ridiculous number of awards they shower themselves with (should be with which
they shower themselves, but Cynthia at http://www.commonplacecrazy.com/ said I could get away with this
incorrect grammar in casual writing.)
(Longest sentence ever.)
As an
example of these ego maniacs ridiculous awards gluttony, I used this list:
Singers
receive a few awards; here is a list of awards given to Beyonce:
Do you think she feels
“Special”?
I could have used similar
lists for actors and even super-models.
This culture of a group of
people heaping award after award on themselves is disgusting, and yet bloggers
are in fact guilty of the same hubris.
I am ashamed to admit that
through the years I have been awarded and have accepted eight such honors. Some might say that I am hypocritical.
I remember a
caller to the Howard Stern Show, the greatest radio show ever, where Howard
Stern, the greatest interviewer and off the cuff commenter ever, was accused of
being a hypocrite. Howard lit into this
caller for about eight minutes claiming he has never in his life been
hypocritical, and in fact his success is based on his honest upfront unedited
opinions and the unwavering consistency of his positions. The caller then replayed two conflicting
comments which Howard had recently made on air.
Howard Stern listened and then just calmly responded to the caller, “OK,
I’m a hypocrite!”
If Howard Stern can so
calmly accept and declare his hypocrisy, then so can I. And so it is with great pride and unabashed
hypocrisy that I accept my ninth blogger award, the
“Epically Awesome Award of
Epic Awesomeness” award.
Thank you Bad Word Mama at http://badwordmama.blogspot.com/ and Akashic Window at http://akashicwindow.blogspot.com/ for this great honor.
In order to accept I am
required to answer several silly questions about myself:
NO!
But as a hypocrite I am
still going to keep the award.
Now so that every blogger
who posts at least once a month will also eventually receive this prestigious
award, I am required to bestow it on several other bloggers. This is difficult to do as I do not want to
leave anyone out and everyone I follow deserves this award.
But here goes. I am handing this award to bloggers whom I
have not previously bestowed an award.
First I am NOT handing it out to Chubby Chatterbox
at http://www.chubbychatterbox.com/index, because he gets too many awards, and I am jealous of
his writing. So Chubby, back off!
Next I give this award to
Suldog at http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/ . I do this
simply because he hates awards and declines them so well and I know it pisses
him off.
I also give this award to
OLDAFSARG at http://oldafsarge.blogspot.com/ because I like
his stuff and he and several of his fellow bloggers have put their life on the
line for all of us.
Take the award Uncle Skip at
http://lionskip.blogspot.com/ , for the same reason as above, and he can use some more
good stuff in his life as we all pray for GS!
Finally an award goes to
Katrina at http://www.theyallcallmemom.com/ , because ten kids is not enough for the best
commenter in all blogdom, plus I like your posts as well.
I am not passing this award
to Lo at http://loisstearns.blogspot.com/ as people might talk, and Mrs. C is getting
suspicious…plus I think she has this award already.
So go now all you bloggers
and accept this award and all the hypocrisy that comes with it. Make up some silly questions and answer them. Then pass this award on
so anyone I missed will eventually receive it as well.
I have not notified any of
the above recipients, you must stalk to receive.
Thank you…thank you very
much.
Cranky has left the
building.
Lol - can't think of anything else to say here....
ReplyDeleteyou make me laugh. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for excluding me, and for the kind words---I think.
ReplyDeleteThanks for not giving me this award! You like me--you really like me!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Joe. (I think...)
ReplyDeleteWhoa... awesome!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dude!
Thank you!!! You are so sweet to think of me:)
ReplyDeleteBut hey...Howard Stern...really? The guy was ugh, I can't even think of the word...just not nice! Every single time I listened to or watched his show, I was insulted and/or disgusted! Every. Single. Time. Some might say, then WHY tune it to his show, if you hated it so much? Well, I never said I hated it. I just said that I was always insulted and/or disgusted after watching it. I wouldn't claim to hate a show but then watch it or listen to it in secret. (hey, I'm no hypocrite)
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteHa! Good post. This reminds me of the dueling steak houses we had here in Dallas a while back who (quietly) invented their own "Steak Connoisseurs" clubs and...SURPRISE...awarded their "Best Steakhouse Ever Grand Prize" to themselves.
ReplyDeleteThe difference between your award and theirs is you deserve yours. ;)
S
Thanks for nothing! And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. So thankful am I that I might just create a special award for you...
ReplyDeleteLOL, congratulations cranky!
ReplyDeleteLol... oh man. I really dislike getting those... because I don't like answering the questions.. AND having to tag other people so these great little honors often end with me
ReplyDeleteHoly Shit! You gave me an award?!? I wish you hadn't. I really like you and do not want to tear you a new one (unless you need a new one, in which case I would be happy to help.)
ReplyDelete(Well, not "happy". As a friend, I'd offer some assistance, but "happy" probably wouldn't describe my emotional state.)
Tell you what: Next time I've totally run out of intelligent things to say, I'll accept your award. Until then, this will have to do...
Thanks for thinking of me. Please try to avoid it in future.
[Disclaimer: All comments within this comment were made because of the way Cranky characterized my acceptance of awards, which was a truthful representation except for the parts where it wasn't. I do not hate Cranky, nor do I wish him to stop thinking of me most of the time.]
Thanks for nothing. Really.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I could say something
ReplyDeleteBut I'm saving the cute stuff for the A to Z Challenge
You need to be a part of a contest for one of the greatest
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site!