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Wednesday, April 17, 2013



In my first book, shamelessly self-published and purchased by 17 people on amazon who thought they were selecting Whoopi’s book, there is a chapter on celebrities and the ridiculous number of awards they shower themselves with (should be with which they shower themselves, but Cynthia at said I could get away with this incorrect grammar in casual writing.)
(Longest sentence ever.)

As an example of these ego maniacs ridiculous awards gluttony, I used this list:

Singers receive a few awards; here is a list of awards given to Beyonce:

 American Music Awards                                                                                                         
 BET Awards, USA                                                                                                                    
 Billboard Music Magazine, USA                                                                              
 BRAVO Supershow, Germany                                                                                 
 BRIT Awards, UK                                                                                                        
Capital FM Awards, UK                                                                                            
 Demand International Entertainer of The Year                                                   
Glamour Magazine Woman of the Year, UK                                                                        
 Grammy Awards, USA                                                                                                        
 International Dance Music Awards, World                                                                        
 Ivor Novello Awards                                                                                                             
 Latin Grammy Awards                                                                                                       
 Meteor Music Awards, Ireland                                                                                        
 Music of Black Origin Awards, UK (MOBO)                                                                       
 Music Television, World (MTV)                                                                                                
NAACP Image Awards                                                                                                            
New Musical Express, UK (NME)                                                                                            
Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards                                                                                          
 NRJ Music Awards (France)                                                                                                  
 People Choice Awards, USA                                                                                               

 Popjustice Readers Polls                                                                                                           
 Premios Fuse TV                                                                                                          
 Premios Lo Nuestro                                                                                                     
 Premios Oye, Mexico                                                                                                              
Radio Music Awards, USA                                                                                                          
Soul Train Music Awards, USA                                                                                                   
Source Hip-Hop Music Awards, USA                                                                                                          
 Teen Choice Awards                                                                                                          
 The Record of the Year, UK (ITV)                                                                                            
 Urban Music Awards                                                                                                                           
VH1, USA                                                                                                                                               
 Vibe Awards, USA                                                                                                                                
 Whudat Music Awards, USA                                                                                                            

Do you think she feels “Special”?

I could have used similar lists for actors and even super-models.

This culture of a group of people heaping award after award on themselves is disgusting, and yet bloggers are in fact guilty of the same hubris. 

I am ashamed to admit that through the years I have been awarded and have accepted eight such honors.  Some might say that I am hypocritical.

I remember a caller to the Howard Stern Show, the greatest radio show ever, where Howard Stern, the greatest interviewer and off the cuff commenter ever, was accused of being a hypocrite.  Howard lit into this caller for about eight minutes claiming he has never in his life been hypocritical, and in fact his success is based on his honest upfront unedited opinions and the unwavering consistency of his positions.  The caller then replayed two conflicting comments which Howard had recently made on air.  Howard Stern listened and then just calmly responded to the caller, “OK, I’m a hypocrite!”

If Howard Stern can so calmly accept and declare his hypocrisy, then so can I.  And so it is with great pride and unabashed hypocrisy that I accept my ninth blogger award, the

Epically Awesome Award of Epic Awesomeness” award.
Clap, clap, clap

Thank you Bad Word Mama at and Akashic Window at for this great honor.

In order to accept I am required to answer several silly questions about myself:


But as a hypocrite I am still going to keep the award.

Now so that every blogger who posts at least once a month will also eventually receive this prestigious award, I am required to bestow it on several other bloggers.  This is difficult to do as I do not want to leave anyone out and everyone I follow deserves this award.

But here goes.  I am handing this award to bloggers whom I have not previously bestowed an award.

First I am NOT handing it out to Chubby Chatterbox at, because he gets too many awards, and I am jealous of his writing.  So Chubby, back off!

Next I give this award to Suldog at .  I do this simply because he hates awards and declines them so well and I know it pisses him off.

I also give this award to OLDAFSARG at  because I like his stuff and he and several of his fellow bloggers have put their life on the line for all of us.

Take the award Uncle Skip at , for the same reason as above, and he can use some more good stuff in his life as we all pray for GS!

Finally an award goes to Katrina at , because ten kids is not enough for the best commenter in all blogdom, plus I like your posts as well.

I am not passing this award to Lo at as people might talk, and Mrs. C is getting suspicious…plus I think she has this award already.

So go now all you bloggers and accept this award and all the hypocrisy that comes with it.  Make up some silly questions and answer them.  Then pass this award on so anyone I missed will eventually receive it as well.

I have not notified any of the above recipients, you must stalk to receive.
Thank you…thank you very much.

Cranky has left the building.


  1. Lol - can't think of anything else to say here....

  2. Thanks for excluding me, and for the kind words---I think.

  3. Thanks for not giving me this award! You like me--you really like me!!

  4. Thank you!!! You are so sweet to think of me:)
    But hey...Howard Stern...really? The guy was ugh, I can't even think of the word...just not nice! Every single time I listened to or watched his show, I was insulted and/or disgusted! Every. Single. Time. Some might say, then WHY tune it to his show, if you hated it so much? Well, I never said I hated it. I just said that I was always insulted and/or disgusted after watching it. I wouldn't claim to hate a show but then watch it or listen to it in secret. (hey, I'm no hypocrite)

  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  6. Ha! Good post. This reminds me of the dueling steak houses we had here in Dallas a while back who (quietly) invented their own "Steak Connoisseurs" clubs and...SURPRISE...awarded their "Best Steakhouse Ever Grand Prize" to themselves.

    The difference between your award and theirs is you deserve yours. ;)


  7. Thanks for nothing! And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. So thankful am I that I might just create a special award for you...

  8. Lol... oh man. I really dislike getting those... because I don't like answering the questions.. AND having to tag other people so these great little honors often end with me

  9. Holy Shit! You gave me an award?!? I wish you hadn't. I really like you and do not want to tear you a new one (unless you need a new one, in which case I would be happy to help.)

    (Well, not "happy". As a friend, I'd offer some assistance, but "happy" probably wouldn't describe my emotional state.)

    Tell you what: Next time I've totally run out of intelligent things to say, I'll accept your award. Until then, this will have to do...

    Thanks for thinking of me. Please try to avoid it in future.

    [Disclaimer: All comments within this comment were made because of the way Cranky characterized my acceptance of awards, which was a truthful representation except for the parts where it wasn't. I do not hate Cranky, nor do I wish him to stop thinking of me most of the time.]

  10. I'm sure I could say something
    But I'm saving the cute stuff for the A to Z Challenge

  11. You need to be a part of a contest for one of the greatest
    sites on the web. I most certainly will highly recommend this


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