THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Sunday, April 14, 2013
STUPID HEADLINES 041413
STUPID HEADLINES 041413
It is time once again for:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my
stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments
I hate when that happens
Police arrest man dressed as Cookie Monster in New York
City – What do you
expect from a city that doesn’t allow you to buy a “Big Gulp?”
NY man awarded $1.6M over flooding, citing frog phobia – I’m scared sh*tless of spiders, there must be
someone I can sue.
Kindergarten Boy Suspended for His
Why not just use his head to represent
the letter I?
Hermit Crab Species Found Alive for
First Time –
They were found for
sale on Seaside heights, New Jersey, boardwalk, 3 for 2 dollars.
(It’s a Jersey thing!)
Memorabilia dealer admits to altering
famed $2.8 million Honus Wagner card – Card was actually of Jonas Wagoner a third string shortstop
for the 1909 Pirates.
Voice of Charlie Brown pleads guilty to threatening and
stalking in California – Man
claims he wasn’t stalking, he was just Snoopying around.*
Professor Calls Republicans Stupid
& Racist – Lone
angry Republican student responds, “I know you are, but what am I?”
Newlywed bride realizes she is allergic to new husband's
sperm – Oh like I haven’t
heard that one before!
Convicted killer suing murdered
victim's family – Murderer
sues victim’s wife for defamation of character from a letter she wrote.Her lawyer made thiscomment, I cannot improve on it, "The guy's
a convicted murderer! I don't know how you defame his character.”
Bitcoin bubble may have burst – You know you are getting old when a new fad’s bubble
bursts before you ever heard of it!
Hymnal that dates to 1640 could fetch $30M at auction–
Or it is available on Kindle for $8.99.
Iranian scientist claims to have invented time machine–
Scientist suggests moving his country forward by going back in time.
Bras make breasts sag more, study finds – A French
scientist spent ten years studying breasts to come to this conclusion.Dude…have you ever seen a National Geographic
Let's make this perfectly clear: 'Stupendous' see-through
mouse brains a new research tool – Now if they could just find the damn things!
*Cranky Old Man apologizes for any really bad puns…it’s the Tourette’s.