WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO
PICK THAT UP?
The other
day I was in the kitchen with Mrs. Cranky.
Now keep in mind, I do my share of work around the Cranky house. I vacuum, I sweep, I am the bathroom cleaner,
I do the dishes and I empty the dishwasher.
I am the grill master. I don’t do
windows. Anyway, the other day I am in
the kitchen with Mrs. Cranky and she says to me:
“When are you going to pick that up?”
“Pick what up?”
“Look at your feet.”
“Yeah!”
“Don’t you see that?”
“See what.”
“Oh my God…LOOK, right by your feet!”
I look down
at my feet and sure enough there is a gubba*
“When are you going to pick that
up? It’s been there for three days?”
“Well if you have been seeing it for
three days, why didn’t you pick it up?”
“Because I wanted to see how long you
would just keep stepping over it and never pick it up!”
“But, if I didn’t see it how would I
pick it up? What is worse, my not seeing
it or you seeing it and waiting for me to pick it up?”
“How could you NOT see it!?**
“How could you see it and NOT pick it
up!?”
“Cause I wanted to see
how long it would take for you to see it!”
“Well now you still don’t know cause
you pointed it out to me.”
“Well are you going to pick it up?”
“You saw it first, you pick it up!”
“But it’s your mess!”
“How do you know it’s my mess?”
“Because if I drop something I know
it!”
“Except when you drop something and
you don’t know it.”
“You’re a jerk!”
The Gubba
remains today in that same spot on the kitchen floor.
No one will pick it up. Yesterday
Mrs. C vacuumed around it. This summer
the ants will probably clean it up…that is if it is something edible.
I don’t know
what it is…it’s a Gubba!
*Gubba – any
tiny stupid unidentified thing which serves no apparent purpose is a “Gubba.”
**!? –
Emphatic question.
This story is so 'marriage'!
ReplyDeleteOh, that is so hilarious! Hilarious, yet so familiar - - like a version of a million conversations I've had with my own husband! hahaha
ReplyDeletegoofball...
ReplyDeleteYou have read ...
ReplyDelete"The Zax", about a north-going Zax and a south-going Zax ... by good ol Dr. Seuss ? ~ m'favorite author
lol
The rule at my house is: if you see it first, you have to pick it up. So, if you say something about it, that means you saw it first. But if you don't say anything and pretend not to see it, you don't have to pick it up.
ReplyDeleteDoes the definition of "gubba" include "husband"?
ReplyDeleteGrandkids create and/or find a lot of GUBBAS. Even if Mr. Webster and spellcheck won't pick up the Gubba I will. Good luck with your Gubba.
ReplyDeleteAh I just LOVE this real life stuff - sounds so much like my house. This actually reminds me of when I was in my senior year of high school and I worked at the local pizza place. It seemed like all the employees were from our high school. It was a very fun place to work - but SO busy! One especially busy Friday night, we were all scrambling about making pizzas, bussing tables, washing dishes...running to and from the back room to get various things. And on the floor, right in the middle of where we were all working, was one lone slice of cucumber that must have come from the salad bar. Well, that thing must have stayed on the floor for about 4 hours, getting stepped on and just ignored by all 12 of us. We ALL saw it there. We ALL walked by it about 50 times that night. But no one wanted to be the one to pick it up. Finally, my best friend Brian walked over to the cucumber slice, picked it up and held it up for all of us to see, and she said in a loud voice: "Okay!! I KNOW you ALL have seen this mangey thing on the floor for the past 4 hours...but I will be the ONE who PICKS IT UP and THROWS it into the trash!! Gosh, you guys are SO lazy!" and we all laughed and said, "Okay, dad!!" Anyway, twenty-some years later, Brian and I are still great friends and we still laugh about that day and the "mangey cucumber" on the floor.
ReplyDeleteooops... Brian is a "he" not a "she" -- that was a typo!
ReplyDeletehahahaha.... A slice of real life. A reminder. Although I miss my dear departed husband, once adjusted, I don't miss marriage. If I knew "then" what I know now, would I have gotten married. Yeah, I guess so. Often loneliness over rides the gubbas on the floor.
ReplyDeleteManzanita
wanna buy a duck
just be the man and pick it up.
ReplyDeleteGubba---thanks for increasing my vocabulary. And yes, me and Mrs. Chatterbox have many conversations like this.
ReplyDeleteI needed a new word in my vocabulary besides f8ck that I love love love......Gubba gubba gubba
ReplyDeleteYou lost that one before you ever opened your mouth, you know that, right? ;)
ReplyDeleteS
My husband left a banana peel stuffed between the arm and the seat cushion of his La-Z-Boy. Seriously. How do you NOT KNOW you left a banana peel in the recliner? I drew it to his attention. But I did not pick it up.
ReplyDeleteThat right there is a fine example of true love. Because neither of you would put up with that kind of crap from anyone else!
ReplyDeleteGubba- I never would have thought of that. Thanks Cranky