THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Saturday, April 13, 2013
Should We Just Make Smoking Illegal?
Should We Just Make
A post for Cranky
President Obama a smoker
Obama just recommended a 97 cent per pack tax on cigarettes.The money would fund a pre-kindergarten
program.Many families cannot afford
pre-school for their children.I guess
that is bad.My oldest brother graduated
from Duke University with a degree in Physics, and retired from the USN as a Captain.My other brother graduated from Harvard Law and recently retired as a
Federal Magistrate Judge.Neither of my
brothers went to Pre-K, there is no telling how successful they might have been
if they had.I never went to Pre-K.I graduated from Lafayette College and
became…ok I might not be a good example.
Ronald Reagan a Smoker
value of Pre-K is not today’s Cranky Saturday Opinion; the question is, is a
higher cigarette tax a good idea?
us every time there is a new tax on cigarettes people quit smoking, so it is
for the good of society because smoking costs billions in health care.
FDR, JFK, Clinton, Ford...all smokers
Here comes my Cranky
smoking is so expensive and damaging, and it is, don’t tax it, just make it illegal.No one likes smokers anyway, so who
cares.We will be doing these
environment polluting, uncaring, ignorant bastards a favor.Just plow under the tobacco fields, stop
importation at the borders, and put anyone caught smoking in jail! Then take all that money we will save in
health benefits and fund your pre-k program and end the national debt all in
one fell swoop.
LBJ a smoker
Actually here is my
problem I see with this plan is who are we left with in this country to
hate?It is politically incorrect to
hate anyone in this country.We can’t
hate Jews.We can’t hate people of
color.We can’t hate Catholics (well we
can a little) and we certainly can’t hate gay people.A country needs to hate someone so everyone
else can feel really good about themselves.Hell we can’t even hate Muslims.We need smokers.We need someone
was illegal we could no longer take our hands and wave away that second-hand
smoke and yell, “Ooh a smoker!”I would
miss that.It always makes me feel very
Churchhill, a smoker
were illegal we could no longer stop those dirty people and explain to them
childlike that the habit is bad for their health.
“Do you know
that smoking is very bad for you?You
really should quit.”I’d miss telling
those dirty, selfish people that.It
makes me feel really special.
years of being a dirty, filthy, inconsiderate bastard, I quit smoking two years
ago.If smoking were illegal it would
not affect me, except that after all those years I finally have a group that I
can hate…don’t take that away from me!
Einstein a smoker
Here comes my solution
bastards. Tax them just enough to make it painful but not enough to lose
government revenues.Make smokers wear a
big red S on an arm band in order to buy their filthy product; that way closet
smokers won’t get away without the public denigration that these horrible
people deserve.Keep smoking legal, make
it painful, but don’t take away the only group in this country I am still able
to hate.I need my hate fix.Sometimes I need to hate twenty times a
I have a
pack of hate a day habit.
The preceding opinion was that of a
cranky old man and not necessarily that of management, Mrs. Cranky.