This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Monday, April 29, 2013


The Crankys landed in Aruba Friday afternoon.  Yes, I am retired, but sometimes you just have to do nothing at a different venue.

Saturday we slept late and barely made the breakfast cutoff.  We then made some reservations for dinner, and checked out a sunset cruise.  By the time we put on our suits and headed for the beach it was 1:30.

We picked up our chair covers and towels and found two empty chairs right near the water’s edge.  Well not completely empty, one chair had a cover and unused towel that someone had apparently forgotten to return.  Being the good citizen that I am I returned the cover and towel for them.   When I returned to this perfect spot I noticed many other chairs with unused covers and towels on empty chairs.  There was no sign of any occupant other than the unused towels.  I suddenly realized that these seats were reserved.

It was too late to undo my actions, I was committed to these two chairs, even if someone did get up this morning to reserve them with a towel just in case they wanted to go to the beach.  It was, after all, 1:30.  How long can someone reserve the prime chairs on the beach?  What if they never even used these seats?  What a waste.

Mrs. C and I claimed the reserved seats and lay down to absorb some sun.  I dozed off when I was suddenly rudely awakened.  One thousand miles from home and I opened my eyes to an obnoxious New Yorker.  A big New Yorker...with tattoos…tattoos on really big arms.

“Yo pal, youse is on our chairs!”

“How are they your chairs?”

“Dude I got up early this morning to reserve them with my towel!”

“Oh, that was your towel?  I thought someone just forgot it.”

“No! I didn’t forget, these seats are reserved.  Now move it!”

“Ok, ok…my bad…Lets go Mrs. C.”

As we gathered our stuff and started to leave, tattoo man mumbled, “Asshole!”

“Scuse me?”

“I said asshole!”

“Dude, I was leaving, now I think I’ll stay.”

With that, the big arms covered with tattoos pushed me in the chest.

I instinctively punched him hard in the stomach.  He bent over from the blow, and I tomahawked him in the back driving him into the sand face first.


Well actually that scenario played itself over and over in my head for about two hours while I tried to nap, after which I suggested to Mrs. C that we go take a dip in the pool and we left our idyllic spot by the water’s edge.

"Do you really want to go to the pool, or you afraid of being yelled at for stealing a chair?"

"NO! I want to go to the pool!  And I am a little afraid of being yelled at."

No one ever used those chairs the rest of the day.  I checked!  The original “reservist” either never came back to claim his prize, or he saw the Crankys and didn’t want to start a fight.

Regardless, I spent two hours mulling a ridiculous scenario over and over in my head and didn’t get a moments relaxation.

I hate this stupid seat saving tradition at these island resorts.  I pay the same as these other yahoos,  why do they get to save the best seats just because they are early risers.  They just piss me off.

Anyway, we turned in early that first day.  I had to get up early the next morning to reserve two chairs by the water’s edge,  just in case we wanted to use them later on in the day.


  1. ARUBA!!!!! Love it! We went several years ago, and I have longed to go back. I think I have a post about it somewhere because the vacation didn't exactly start off on the right foot (sounds like yours didn't either) but it got markedly better the next day. Here's hoping for glorious days and two empty, unreserved chairs for you and Mrs. C!

  2. Hope the rest of your vacation goes well.

    This is a problem I'll never have as beaches aren't my thing. I see no future in trading my heat for someone else's heat. And paying for the privilege. ;)


  3. OMG have fun in Aruba...and YES I HATE people who reserve prime chairs and never use them throughout the day...WTF is that all about!

  4. Most resorts do not let people reserve chairs for more than 20 minutes or so...i.e. while they eat breakfast. If you remove the towels I do not think the owner of the towel has much sway. The resort should take your side or get you two new chairs and place them nearby! I also find people that do this most obnoxious!

  5. First of all I am dead jealous of you!;-)

    Secondly, I wish resorts would not permit people reserving chairs in this way. Here in the UK it is a popular complaint among the Brits who complain that it's 'the Germans' who are guilty of this! (In Spain!)

  6. Innit wunnerful how we can play a movie in our head for hours on end that never turns out that way in real life?
    I have heard of Aruba, but I think Maui is closer and more laid back.

  7. laughing! don't get into any beach dust-ups!

  8. It is probably a good thing it didn't happen the way it did in your head.....I don't think you want to tangle with the legal system in Aruba.

  9. So jealous of your little trip. Have fun!

  10. I was reminded of the old Charles Atlas ads where he bully kicks sand in the wimp's face!!

  11. Well, you needn't have worried. You DID come out the winner in your scenario.

  12. Someone once said (okay it was a fortune cookie)that we are what we criticize. Seems to be true in this case. But I would have done the same thing.

  13. Well, I don't know anything about resorts in Aruba (nine kids kind of prevents me from going to places like that) but people do the "reserving seats" thing for school performances and it drives me crazy!! They come into the auditorium about SIX HOURS before the Kindergarten Holiday show starts to reserve their seats. I get there about 30 minutes before show time, thinking I'm ahead of the game, only to find almost every seat in the first half of the auditorium "saved" by sweaters, programs, or even small pieces of paper that they've written "saved" on. So I get there "early" and end up sitting (or standing) in the back. So what I do is...when I want to take a good picture or a video of a certain song that my kid is singing...I just walk right UP THERE to the front and I SIT DOWN on the floor, and I film or take my photos. I don't CARE if anyone thinks I shouldn't be there. I really don't. So long as I'm not blocking anybody else's view, who cares if I'm sitting in the aisle or on the floor in front of the first row. In the years to come, do you think I will look at the photos or video that I took and feel bad? NO. But, if all I had was photos and video from the waaaaaaay back where my kid is just a speck in the distance, then I'll always regret that I didn't go up there. (or I will regret that I didn't get there six hours early to reserve my seat)

  14. So jealous about your vacation destination. That story was hilarious.