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Thursday, July 17, 2014

Brownie Brawl


Brownie Brawl
 
Mrs. Cranky’s cousins run a popular local bakery, Vaccaro’s in Clark N.J.  Their cakes, cookies, and cupcakes are much prized.  The cannoli’s are treasured.  The brownies are a special treat.

When we were down at the shore, a box of these various treats was bestowed upon us.  The cupcakes, cookies and cannoli’s quickly disappeared.  Somehow the brownies were untouched.  They sat in our refrigerator for ten days before we came home.  Mrs. C was careful to pack up the brownies, but once home they remained untouched for three more days.

Today I decided to try a brownie.  I about broke several teeth on these once soft delectable treats which were now hard.  They were rock hard.

Now I know one of Mrs. Cranky’s peccadillos is she does not like people to touch or move her stuff.  She does not like to throw anything away.  I made an executive decision to toss the rock hard brownies.  I thought this one peculiarity of hers stopped at stale food. 

I thought wrong.

Mrs. C came home from work tonight and for the first time in almost two weeks decided she had a hankering for a brownie.  I swear she has a camera monitoring the fridge just waiting for me to throw stuff away, because as soon as I do, that is exactly when she wants something.

“JOSEPH!”

It is never good when she calls my proper name.

“What did you do with the brownies?”

“You mean those rock hard stale things in a brownie box?”

“They were still good!”

“I about broke my teeth on them and threw them away.”

“What?  I can nuke them and they are fine.”

“You could actually NUKE them with an actual bomb and they would still not break up, and you never microwave anything.”

“Yes I do, I microwave stale brownies and they come out fine!”

“Well I made an executive decision.”

“That’s why you were never made an executive!”

“That is a low blow.”

“Look, from now on, don’t ever throw away a box that says “Vaccaro’s” unless it is empty.”

“You flip out even if I throw out empty boxes.”

“Just never make an executive decision involving Vaccaro’s again...JERK!”

I still say they were way too stale, and until Mrs. C gets her own blog I get the last word.

Please don’t tell.   

19 comments:

  1. I am truly shocked that it's possible for a person to have brownies in their fridge for TWO whole weeks not being eaten ... I'm almost speechless ...

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  2. Dried out brownies are no longer brownies. Saw those things up and serve as croutons. :-)

    Pearl

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  3. i'd have wrapped one in a damp paper towel and nuked it, too. of course, they'd never have sat for 2 weeks, either...

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  4. I was coming up to work while at the shore. I would have a brownie after work, just like I wanted to do the other night. I can have the last word if I post a comment ... jerk ; - )

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  5. Perhaps she prefers them stale and microwaved. I'd have eaten them all the very first day.

    She loves calling you a jerk. Yes she does.

    Have a terrific day and I won't tell. ☺

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  6. The notion of any brownie being tossed out without fulfilling its destiny of being eaten is a tragedy worthy of Shakespeare. "Alas Old Brownie, I didn't get to know you well..."

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  7. I've been wondering about Joe vs. Joseph. Thank you for clearing that up.

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  8. I'm with Mrs. C on this one. It is amazing what a little nuking can do to stale foods.

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    1. Nuking might make them warm, but they will still be dried out and crumbly, probably tasteless too. Nothing at all like the warm deliciousness of a fresh baked brownie.

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  9. Here's what you do the next time you have stale, leftover brownies.. which is blasphemous, by the way. You put them in the food processor until they're brownie crumbs and then stir then into your favourite slightly-softened ice cream. Brownies are never garbage, Joseph. ;)

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  10. Joe, you knew you were never going to win that one.

    Now please don't shoot me here, friend, but I sorta side with her. That's because there have been many times I've gone to the refrig looking for something to find out K tossed it. DOH! It was good stuff, I swear!

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  11. I can't defend you on this one.It's not like those brownies were stinking, or oozing brown goo, or covered with mold. They were fine.

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  13. I think Mrs. Cranky and I were born identical twins and tragically separated at birth. That makes you my brother-in-law! "Joseph! Leave my sister's brownies ALONE!"

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  14. My thoughts are with you. I am the appointed kitchen cleaner after dinner and have stopped throwing away anything that looks like waste near the sink area. The kids are always putting "experiments" up there, only for me to dispose of, and then face the wrath of the rest of the family.

    Let the stinky kitchen in our house continue!

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  15. Brownies should always be eaten on the day they are baked, preferably while still warm from the oven. The next day is acceptable too. If you want Brownies three weeks from now, then bake them in three weeks time. Or bake today and freeze them, although for me that doesn't work so well. I know they are there, in the freezer, and a brownie takes only two minutes to thaw. Just long enough to get the coffee made.

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