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Sunday, January 20, 2019

STUPID HEADLINES 012018


STUPID HEADLINES 012018



This weeks stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.

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Walmart bans woman who rode cart while drinking wine from Pringles can - Banned from Walmart?  Who knew they had any standards; I guess they draw the line on wine in a Pringles can?

Panties, bras fly from car during nearly 100 mph chase in Indiana It is a well-known fact that most bras and panties can not stay on a car at speeds of 75 mph or higher.

An American president actually had to deny he is a foreign agent – Well someone asked him so I guess he had to deny it.  I suppose if he was asked if he ever sang “Hello Dolly” in drag he would deny that as well.

Americans more likely to die from opioid overdose than in a car accident – Unless you drive a lot, and your odds do change dramatically if YOU DON’T TAKE OPIOIDS!!

Meghan Markle breaks royal protocol with dark pedicure and no tights – “I say, that is outrageous! I also understand that Harry was not wearing a powdered wig!”

Texas drug suspects called cops after somebody stole their weed – Two less geniuses for the Mexican cartel to worry about.

Man caught on camera putting bundle of marijuana in wrong mailbox – Clearly marijuana makes you stupid!

Pennsylvania police department seeking volunteers who can drink to inebriation – Finally, something that I am highly qualified for!

Nebraska college student builds 84 snowmen in one night – His parents must be sooo proud!

Hilton dishwasher awarded $21.5 million for having to work Sundays – Dang, I worked Monday thru Friday for 40 years and didn’t make anything near that much!


The Number 1 Who Gives A Crap story of the week:

Even With Rappers Set To Perform, Super Bowl's Halftime Show Remains Tone-Deaf – Here’s an idea, MARCHING BANDS!!


FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THEWEEK:

Kentucky driver seemingly tries to destroy snowman, surprised when they hit tree stump – I think I love an asshole meeting karma even more than a good dog story.


 











10 comments:

  1. Pennsylvania police department seeking volunteers who can drink to inebriation – Finally, something that I am highly qualified for! I'm coming with you, Joe. I'll bring snacks.

    Nebraska college student builds 84 snowmen in one night – His parents must be sooo proud! I'll bet this guy volunteered for the inebriation challenge.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎

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  2. NOW where will that Walmart woman buy her box of wine to refill her Pringles can?

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  3. One drink and I would be inebriated so I'd be a cheap subject for them. Come on Joe - isn't college the time to prove you're "good" at sonething.

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  4. Unless she stole the wine or the Pringles I'm not sure what the problem was. (Gotta wash those salty snacks down with something) Now the other headline that just had me fuming...21 million for working on Sunday? I'm owed a ton of back pay!

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  5. Had it not been a Pringle's can, would the result have been different?

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  6. There are times when i just love instant karma. And a Pringle's can is cardboard and would eventually leak, she's an amateur and needs to use the Lay's Stack can that is plastic.

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  7. Love how that snowman defended himself!!

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  8. Like you, I think instant karma IS a feel good story.

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  9. I wanna know what was going on inside the bra and panties car!

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