STUPID
HEADLINES 012018
This weeks stupid
headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.
_________________________________
Walmart bans
woman who rode cart while drinking wine from Pringles can
- Banned
from Walmart? Who knew they had any standards; I guess they draw the line
on wine in a Pringles can?
Panties, bras fly from car during
nearly 100 mph chase in Indiana – It is a well-known fact that most bras and panties can
not stay on a car at speeds of 75 mph or higher.
An American president actually had to
deny he is a foreign agent – Well someone asked him so I guess he had to deny it. I suppose if he was asked if he ever sang “Hello
Dolly” in drag he would deny that as well.
Americans more likely to die from
opioid overdose than in a car accident – Unless you drive a lot, and your odds do change
dramatically if YOU DON’T TAKE OPIOIDS!!
Meghan Markle breaks royal protocol
with dark pedicure and no tights – “I say, that is outrageous! I also understand that Harry was
not wearing a powdered wig!”
Texas drug suspects called cops after
somebody stole their weed – Two less geniuses for the Mexican cartel to worry about.
Man caught on camera putting bundle
of marijuana in wrong mailbox – Clearly marijuana makes you stupid!
Pennsylvania police department
seeking volunteers who can drink to inebriation – Finally, something that I am highly
qualified for!
Nebraska college student builds 84
snowmen in one night – His parents must be sooo proud!
Hilton dishwasher awarded $21.5
million for having to work Sundays – Dang, I worked Monday thru Friday for 40 years and didn’t
make anything near that much!
The Number 1 Who Gives
A Crap story of the week:
Even With Rappers Set To Perform,
Super Bowl's Halftime Show Remains Tone-Deaf – Here’s an idea, MARCHING BANDS!!
FEEL-GOOD STORY OF
THEWEEK:
Kentucky driver seemingly tries to
destroy snowman, surprised when they hit tree stump – I think I love an asshole meeting
karma even more than a good dog story.
Pennsylvania police department seeking volunteers who can drink to inebriation – Finally, something that I am highly qualified for! I'm coming with you, Joe. I'll bring snacks.
ReplyDeleteNebraska college student builds 84 snowmen in one night – His parents must be sooo proud! I'll bet this guy volunteered for the inebriation challenge.
Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎
NOW where will that Walmart woman buy her box of wine to refill her Pringles can?
ReplyDeleteOne drink and I would be inebriated so I'd be a cheap subject for them. Come on Joe - isn't college the time to prove you're "good" at sonething.
ReplyDeleteUnless she stole the wine or the Pringles I'm not sure what the problem was. (Gotta wash those salty snacks down with something) Now the other headline that just had me fuming...21 million for working on Sunday? I'm owed a ton of back pay!
ReplyDeletePringles can?
ReplyDeleteHad it not been a Pringle's can, would the result have been different?
ReplyDeleteThere are times when i just love instant karma. And a Pringle's can is cardboard and would eventually leak, she's an amateur and needs to use the Lay's Stack can that is plastic.
ReplyDeleteLove how that snowman defended himself!!
ReplyDeleteLike you, I think instant karma IS a feel good story.
ReplyDeleteI wanna know what was going on inside the bra and panties car!
ReplyDelete