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Saturday, January 5, 2019

STUPID HEADLINES 010619


STUPID HEADLINES 010619

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

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Floridians outraged after chef says New Jersey has best Cuban sandwich – We also have the best Cuban cigars…we even have the best Cubans.  Jersey rules!

Cops grieve 'Krispy Kreme Doughnuts' lost in NYE truck fire: 'No words' – Who says cops don’t have a sense of humor?


Elizabeth Smart responds to news her kidnapper lives near elementary school – Gee, with all the crazies running around with high power rifles, I hope they don’t release the address of this rape enabling piece of excrement who should still be rotting in prison with a 300-pound roommate named Crazy Bertha!

Meghan Markle 'bans Prince Harry from drinking alcohol and tea' – Who mixes their alcohol with tea anyway? 

Scientists think they know where the early universe’s dark matter has been hiding – This is stupid, clearly it is on the dark side of the moon.

8 Things That Happen When You Stop Drinking Alcohol – From first-hand experience number one would be You remember where you are when you wake up…Number two would be You remember who you are when you wake up.

Australian twin sisters claim they both intend to get pregnant by same 'very happy' boyfriend – This should be against the law, no one should be that lucky!

Porsche aims high with hemp-bodied car – The car will get excellent mileage, but the driver may have to make frequent stops for potato chips.

Illinois hunters now allowed to wear blaze pink as alternative to orange – The danger will be drunken hunters looking for elephants.

Apple secures smart fabric patent – Siri, pull up my fly.


DICK-HEAD OF THE WEEK:

Kawhi Leonard's mother appears to yell at heckler during Raptors-Spurs game – Yelling at players is a fan’s right, but heckling their mothers is a Dick-head move!  This mom apparently can hold her own…but she shouldn’t have to.


 FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK

Raccoon goes viral after scaling skyscraper – What person doesn’t feel good after a good raccoon story?





10 comments:

  1. Scientists think they know where the early universe’s dark matter has been hiding – This is stupid, clearly it is on the dark side of the moon.

    Or perhaps under the bed with all the fluff that gathers there.

    God bless.

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  2. Wow, that raccoon was amazing. Sure glad he was caught and relocated. Otherwise it would have been a loooong trip down.

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  3. Congrats to New Jersey! I think it takes a lot to outrage Floridians, considering some of their headlines we see here.

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  4. On Hallmark the Prince who marries a commoner doesn't have to give up that stuff..Megan should know better.

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  5. Saw the raccoon on the news. I was cheering him on.

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  6. That raccoon looked young, i don't think it realized quite what it had let itself in for. Much easier to scale garbage cans, as the ones around here try to do.

    That donut story is funny, of course the police have a sense of humor, they have to with all that they see. Also, i found out why officers are so often associated with donuts at all -- it seems in the old days, just after landline phones were becoming ubiquitous, if an officer needed help or had to call headquarters early in the morning, the only places open were donut shops, so they'd stop to use the phones in the shops. At least, that's the story.

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  7. Poor critter. How did it come by making that decision?

    Deep fried Krispy Kremes cooking is amazing. Up in flames? Mmmm. Donuts.

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  8. Meghan and Harry (I write this like I'm on first-name basis with them - ha!) haven't been married long enough for her to boss him around like that!

    On the other hand, to answer your question about Who mixes their alcohol with tea anyway? - haven't you ever had a shot of brandy in your tea? You're missing out!

    And all this to avoid getting into an argument about who really has the best Cuban sandwiches. *Keeps lips zipped*

    ReplyDelete

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