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Tuesday, January 29, 2019

RIP Perfectly Good Words


RIP Perfectly Good Words
I want to blow my top...literally!
I am constantly annoyed by the changing vocabulary of our times.  Perfectly good words have been replaced by words that lose their power.  Simple phrases change and their meaning is distorted.  It is painful, but I am learning to get over it, life moves on, a word is just a word, still it is my prerogative as an old person to dislike any change.

I like nice things.  I like things that are even nicer than others.  We used to say they were VERY nice.  For instance, the other night we went to a restaurant that was very nice.  Nothing today is very nice, very has been replaced with SUPER.  Nothing is VERY nice any more, it is SUPER nice.  SUPER which used to mean extra VERY, now simply means VERY.  In the process, VERY has been dumped, and SUPER has been stripped of its power.

At this SUPER nice restaurant, our waitress was SUPER helpful except for one thing I found SUPER annoying.  When ever I said “Thank you” for her SUPER helpfulness, she told me, “No problem.”

What happened to “You're welcome”?  “You're welcome” meant that the person was “happy to help”, “glad to be of service”, “My pleasure”. 

“No problem” means it is not a problem.

WTF? If I thought it was a problem, I would not have asked…what am I an animal?  When I asked, “May I have more water please?”  Not for one second did I think that would be a problem, it is your job, why would, your job be a problem? I said “please” because I don’t want to treat you like a non-person.  “No problem” indicates if getting me the water was an inconvenience, then I could just go scratch.

GOL DAMMIT, stop with the “NO PROBLEM” and just let me know “I’M WELCOME!”.

I might need some meds! Still it is SUPER simple. 

If people would just go back to “You're welcome” it would be great.  That’s right “GREAT”, not “AWESOME.” Awesome used to mean “really extra super great”, but thanks to pea brain people today, AWESOME has lost its power.  We have no words that mean awesome. 

The AWESOME Grand Canyon is now compared to an awesome pizza you had the other night.

When did a fun time become “EPIC”?  EPIC used to be a great word reserved for events which “LITERALLY” only happened on SUPER rare occasions.  Crap, I can’t explain what EPIC used to mean, because “LITERALLY” which used to mean “Exactly without exaggeration” now means “FIGURATIVELY” or “Not actually, but you get the picture…a lot”. 

Then there is “ACTAULLY” which used to mean… “It really happened” but now is used for no friggin reason what-so-ever.

“Did you have breakfasted this morning?” “Yes, ACTUALLY I did.”

WTF! Just say YES!

Why does the response to every question today start with “SO”?  Does this only bother me?

“How much is ten times ten?”

So, ten times ten equals 100.” Even worse, “So, ten times ten ACTUALLY equals 100.”

“It makes me so angry, I actually blow my top.”  Well actually I figuratively blow my top, on account of even after I am no longer angry, I still have my top, but I shouldn’t have to say figuratively because clearly, I still have my top.

Hell, I can’t even go on anymore, it is literally bothering me, well it is actually bothering me…shit, this is SUPER confusing.

 SO, I’m done.


19 comments:

  1. Bwahahahahahaha. I can so relate to this. There are words and phrases that make be cringe. Like someone that says like several times in a sentence. Like that use the word as a filler.

    I linked this post to Happy Tuesday.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎

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  2. Whatev .. bro ... 'tis cool lingo ... get with it ... man ...

    God bless.

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  3. I’m thinking of taking one of those ESL classes so I will be able to understand the only language in which I used to be fluent.

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    1. I need an ESL class, too. The only phrase today I understand is NO PROBLEM, which I hate!!

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  4. Actually, this post was super epic.

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  5. Actually very funny post. I would not like to see someone literally blow their top, what a mess that would be.

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  6. No problem drives me crazy. It is usually said by some young male server.

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  7. I was going to say exactly what Harry said. That’s super funny! Dad, you are awesome. I had a very nice childhood even with you being epically Cranky. Next time I have some “tea” I’ll call ya. Oh, and uh I’m super glad you liked your Christmas present. Wasnt it epic?! It was really no problem, I just ordered on Amazon.

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  8. I ACTUALLY enjoy using new lingo. It amuses me, plus I like to remain RELEVANT!

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  9. Well I still talk the way I talk and if people don't understand me that is their problem...really, a problem. And AWESOME used to be used to describe an all knowing and all loving deity. What are we using to describe that now?

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  10. This is why i reread classic literature and seek books that are written intelligibly -- it's a good antidote to what we have to listen to all day.

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  11. I confess to being an over-user of SO...

    Hope that doesn't make you blow your top. I still can't get over how they ruined THONGS.

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  12. I had a conversation with my daughter about the difference between Your Welcome and No problem and how I dislike it when someone (young) uses that expression when I express gratitude. Of course, she rolled her eyes at me and without words, I knew what that meant..

    And don’t get me started on the overuse of the word Amazing

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  13. I agree with all of this, in particular, "You're Welcome" is far preferable to "No problem". "Awesome" used to mean something so magnificent you were jaw-droppingly lost for words for a moment. "Awed"

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  14. Hilarious! Laughing fit to drop here. So, I am going out for a meal on Sunday. Is it okay with you if I take this with me to display on the table for the waitresses to read it.



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  15. My, aren't we the Cranky Old Man today?

    I was going to tweak you over 'Your Welcome' (it's, ahem, 'You're Welcome'), which is my own personal fingernails-on-the-blackboard phrase (but hey, at least you end up saying it right), but you're so cranky, I'll leave it for later. . . ;)

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  16. Head hanging in shame here. I am guilty of most of those--especially--no problem. Guess I picked it up from my waiter.

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  17. My "you're welcome" moment came a few years ago when a guest on a t.v. or radio show would be thanked for coming, instead of saying "you're welcome" they'd say "thank YOU" or "thanks for having me." It drives me crazy to this day.

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  18. What drives me nuts is the use of "beyond." It was beyond awesome. I'm beyond excited. What the heck does "beyond" mean?

    Makes me beyond angry!

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