RIP Perfectly Good
Words
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| I want to blow my top...literally! |
I am
constantly annoyed by the changing vocabulary of our times. Perfectly good words have been replaced by
words that lose their power. Simple
phrases change and their meaning is distorted.
It is painful, but I am learning to get over it, life moves on, a word
is just a word, still it is my prerogative as an old person to dislike any
change.
I like nice
things. I like things that are even
nicer than others. We used to say they
were VERY nice. For instance, the other night we went to a
restaurant that was very nice. Nothing
today is very nice, very has been replaced with SUPER. Nothing is VERY nice
any more, it is SUPER nice. SUPER
which used to mean extra VERY, now
simply means VERY. In the process, VERY
has been dumped, and SUPER has been
stripped of its power.
At this
SUPER nice restaurant, our waitress was SUPER helpful except for one thing I
found SUPER annoying. When ever I said “Thank you” for her SUPER helpfulness,
she told me, “No problem.”
What happened
to “You're welcome”? “You're welcome” meant that the person was “happy to help”, “glad to be of
service”, “My pleasure”.
“No problem” means it is not a problem.
WTF? If I thought it was a problem, I
would not have asked…what am I an animal? When I asked, “May I have more water please?” Not for one second did I think that would be
a problem, it is your job, why would, your job be a problem? I said “please” because I don’t want to treat
you like a non-person. “No problem” indicates if getting me
the water was an inconvenience, then I could just go scratch.
GOL DAMMIT, stop with the “NO PROBLEM” and just let me know “I’M WELCOME!”.
I might need
some meds! Still it is SUPER simple.
If people
would just go back to “You're welcome”
it would be great. That’s right “GREAT”, not “AWESOME.” Awesome used to mean “really extra super great”, but
thanks to pea brain people today, AWESOME
has lost its power. We have no words
that mean awesome.
The AWESOME Grand Canyon is now compared to
an awesome pizza you had the other night.
When did a
fun time become “EPIC”? EPIC used to be a great word reserved for
events which “LITERALLY” only happened on SUPER rare occasions. Crap, I can’t explain what EPIC used to mean,
because “LITERALLY” which used to
mean “Exactly without exaggeration” now means “FIGURATIVELY” or “Not
actually, but you get the picture…a lot”.
Then there
is “ACTAULLY” which used to mean… “It really happened” but now is used for
no friggin reason what-so-ever.
“Did you have breakfasted this
morning?” “Yes, ACTUALLY I did.”
WTF! Just
say YES!
Why does the
response to every question today start with “SO”? Does this only bother
me?
“How much is ten times ten?”
“So, ten times ten equals 100.” Even
worse, “So, ten times ten ACTUALLY equals 100.”
“It makes me
so angry, I actually blow my
top.” Well actually I figuratively blow my top, on account of
even after I am no longer angry, I still have my top, but I shouldn’t have to
say figuratively because clearly, I still have my top.
Hell, I
can’t even go on anymore, it is literally bothering me, well it is actually
bothering me…shit, this is SUPER confusing.
SO,
I’m done.
Bwahahahahahaha. I can so relate to this. There are words and phrases that make be cringe. Like someone that says like several times in a sentence. Like that use the word as a filler.
ReplyDeleteI linked this post to Happy Tuesday.
Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎
Whatev .. bro ... 'tis cool lingo ... get with it ... man ...
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
I’m thinking of taking one of those ESL classes so I will be able to understand the only language in which I used to be fluent.
ReplyDeleteI need an ESL class, too. The only phrase today I understand is NO PROBLEM, which I hate!!
DeleteActually, this post was super epic.
ReplyDeleteActually very funny post. I would not like to see someone literally blow their top, what a mess that would be.
ReplyDeleteNo problem drives me crazy. It is usually said by some young male server.
ReplyDeleteI was going to say exactly what Harry said. That’s super funny! Dad, you are awesome. I had a very nice childhood even with you being epically Cranky. Next time I have some “tea” I’ll call ya. Oh, and uh I’m super glad you liked your Christmas present. Wasnt it epic?! It was really no problem, I just ordered on Amazon.
ReplyDeleteI ACTUALLY enjoy using new lingo. It amuses me, plus I like to remain RELEVANT!
ReplyDeleteWell I still talk the way I talk and if people don't understand me that is their problem...really, a problem. And AWESOME used to be used to describe an all knowing and all loving deity. What are we using to describe that now?
ReplyDeleteThis is why i reread classic literature and seek books that are written intelligibly -- it's a good antidote to what we have to listen to all day.
ReplyDeleteI confess to being an over-user of SO...
ReplyDeleteHope that doesn't make you blow your top. I still can't get over how they ruined THONGS.
I had a conversation with my daughter about the difference between Your Welcome and No problem and how I dislike it when someone (young) uses that expression when I express gratitude. Of course, she rolled her eyes at me and without words, I knew what that meant..
ReplyDeleteAnd don’t get me started on the overuse of the word Amazing
I agree with all of this, in particular, "You're Welcome" is far preferable to "No problem". "Awesome" used to mean something so magnificent you were jaw-droppingly lost for words for a moment. "Awed"
ReplyDeleteHilarious! Laughing fit to drop here. So, I am going out for a meal on Sunday. Is it okay with you if I take this with me to display on the table for the waitresses to read it.
ReplyDeleteMy, aren't we the Cranky Old Man today?
ReplyDeleteI was going to tweak you over 'Your Welcome' (it's, ahem, 'You're Welcome'), which is my own personal fingernails-on-the-blackboard phrase (but hey, at least you end up saying it right), but you're so cranky, I'll leave it for later. . . ;)
Head hanging in shame here. I am guilty of most of those--especially--no problem. Guess I picked it up from my waiter.
ReplyDeleteMy "you're welcome" moment came a few years ago when a guest on a t.v. or radio show would be thanked for coming, instead of saying "you're welcome" they'd say "thank YOU" or "thanks for having me." It drives me crazy to this day.
ReplyDeleteWhat drives me nuts is the use of "beyond." It was beyond awesome. I'm beyond excited. What the heck does "beyond" mean?
ReplyDeleteMakes me beyond angry!