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Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Directions


Directions

Mrs. C and I are often on the same page.  I can start a sentence, she will finish it.  I can make the most innocuous comment and she will know immediately what I was thinking.

And yet, when it comes to directions we are in different time zones.

Understand, that I am directionally challenged, whereas Mrs. C has some kind of miraculous internal GPS system.  She knows at all times which direction is north and which is south.  I think north is going up hill and south is going downhill.

I suppose it is because of my directional deficiency that when telling me how to get from point A to point B, she over explains directions.

Sometimes this is great.  For instance some people will tell you,

“Go about one mile on rt. 1 and turn left at the third light.”

What is ABOUT one mile? Sometimes it is a half mile, sometimes it seems like five miles.  Then there is that light thing.  If I am at a light and told to turn left at the third light, do I count the light I am at?

Mrs. C will say,

“You go three quarters of a mile on rt. 1 from Forest Ave.  You will want to turn left at Grove, the third light after Forest Ave.  There will be an Exxon station on the north bound side, and a Burger King at the light on your side.”

Super directions.  Mrs. C is great.

Except sometimes she gives too much information.

The other day I had to go to the train station to pick up her sister coming home from Washington DC.

I have been to this station about 100 times.  We were just there the day before when we dropped off the college student to go to Massachusetts.

So I knew the route, but had not actually driven there myself for a long time.  Also, Mrs. C never seems to take the same route to anywhere twice.  She says traffic depends on the time of day, the weather and her mood.

Anyway.

I ask her just to confirm,

“I take the parkway and there is a specific sign for the train station exit, right?”

“Yes, and be sure to turn at the light to get into the station parking lot.”

Great, except the only way you can get into the station is to turn at a traffic light.  It would be impossible to get into the station without turning at a light.  Why would she give me that information?

Now, all the way to the station I am trying to figure out where it is that I should not turn because there is no light and it would screw me up.

When I got to the station there was a light for long term parking that I almost took because I was so intent to make sure I turned at the light.  At the last second I realized the lot I wanted was one more light up.

No problem, all was well, but why did she get me so concerned with that light direction?

When I got home I asked,

“Why did you confuse me with that turn at the light thing?  There is no other way then to turn at the light.  You confused me!”

“I figured that would help, and you were born confused, don’t blame me.”

“But…but.”

“You’re a jerk!”








16 comments:

  1. I used to wonder why I never knew N, S, E, or W. Then it dawned on me that I've never lived anywhere that I could see the sun.

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  2. It's a good thing you have her or you'd be lost all the time. I know you know this.

    Have a fabulous day and week. 😎

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  3. I'm pretty good with the north/south, east/west part and can remember landmarks to know where I'm at or when to turn etc, but I don't drive, so I'm hopeless at knowing just how far is the distance between anywhere and somewhere else and if you ask for street names I only remember the main road none of the side roads except the one I have to turn in to.

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  4. Reminds me of the lady who ran our homeschool co-op. She was very directionally challenged, and when they bought a new car it had a built in GPS (that was pretty new stuff then). When her oldest son, about 8, realized what that gizmo did, he danced around the car dealership yelling, "Wow, this means we won't be getting lost all the time any more!"

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  5. When I was in college, I got lost in the Dillard's Department Store at Battlefield Mall in Springfield, Missouri. I followed that main walkway around and around, looking for the way back to the mall, but all those dang mirrors confused me. One of my friends finally rescued me. You are probably a direction guru compared to me.

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  6. Oh, I just read your line about north being uphill (etc) to SWMBO and we both laughed. I am the direction person in our house and he is more of the "north being uphill and south being downhill" sort. But we both loved it.

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  7. I never knew which way was north or south, still don't. I tried carrying one of those gadgets were the arrow swings to North (or whatever) all the time until I realised that my brain wasn't working. That was when I took up map reading!

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  8. For people like us who are directionally challenged, a GPS is a necessity.

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  9. A lot of us were born confused and stay that way.

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  10. Know what you mean about not driving the route. I never pay attention as a passenger how I get somewhere. Keep being nice to Mrs. C. Seems she is necessary.

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  11. Whenever I have to drive somewhere I have never been to before I drive there the previous day to make sure I know the way. It is irritating when the journey is about 500 miles or so. It takes me ages going there, coming back and then going there again on the appointed day.

    So I bought a new GPS system. It was advertised "As good as having your wife next to you giving you directions!" Whenever I drive it says "You're going too fast. Watch out for that bicycle. You're too close to the car in front. The old lady is crossing the road ..."

    God bless.

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  12. Kinda like Queenie and I. I can start a sentence, she will finish it. She'll be wrong, but that won't slow her down one bit. I can make the most innocuous comment and she will know immediately what she thinks I was thinking. Wrong again.

    And if we're driving somewhere? I'm the one with GPS, she's the one pointing out that I'm going the wrong way. Even when we're using the 'real' GPS. It's the Pop in her, he's the same way. I refer to him as U-Turn Lou whenever we go anywhere with 'im. If it's an hour-long trip, add another hour for flip flops.

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  13. Down here in the country we tell people turn where the old witness tree used to be and drive until you smell goats:)

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  14. As usual, the comments are more entertaining then my post!

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  15. I just gave directions to an Amish guy who's going to try and stop at our house tomorrow..driving a horse and buggy probably in a snow storm. He just kept saying "yep, yep, yep" every time I told him to take a right at the Parsley Pot..or at the Fin, Feather, and Fur. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have GPS.

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  16. I got directions once from a co-worker: "Hang on left at the house that Jack built."

    What???

    Turns out that The House That Jack Built was the name of a restaurant near her house.

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