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Wednesday, January 16, 2019
Mrs. C and I are often on the same page. I can start a sentence, she will finish it. I can make the most innocuous comment and she will know immediately what I was thinking.
And yet, when it comes to directions we are in different time zones.
Understand, that I am directionally challenged, whereas Mrs. C has some kind of miraculous internal GPS system. She knows at all times which direction is north and which is south. I think north is going up hill and south is going downhill.
I suppose it is because of my directional deficiency that when telling me how to get from point A to point B, she over explains directions.
Sometimes this is great. For instance some people will tell you,
“Go about one mile on rt. 1 and turn left at the third light.”
What is ABOUT one mile? Sometimes it is a half mile, sometimes it seems like five miles. Then there is that light thing. If I am at a light and told to turn left at the third light, do I count the light I am at?
Mrs. C will say,
“You go three quarters of a mile on rt. 1 from Forest Ave. You will want to turn left at Grove, the third light after Forest Ave. There will be an Exxon station on the north bound side, and a Burger King at the light on your side.”
Super directions. Mrs. C is great.
Except sometimes she gives too much information.
The other day I had to go to the train station to pick up her sister coming home from Washington DC.
I have been to this station about 100 times. We were just there the day before when we dropped off the college student to go to Massachusetts.
So I knew the route, but had not actually driven there myself for a long time. Also, Mrs. C never seems to take the same route to anywhere twice. She says traffic depends on the time of day, the weather and her mood.
I ask her just to confirm,
“I take the parkway and there is a specific sign for the train station exit, right?”
“Yes, and be sure to turn at the light to get into the station parking lot.”
Great, except the only way you can get into the station is to turn at a traffic light. It would be impossible to get into the station without turning at a light. Why would she give me that information?
Now, all the way to the station I am trying to figure out where it is that I should not turn because there is no light and it would screw me up.
When I got to the station there was a light for long term parking that I almost took because I was so intent to make sure I turned at the light. At the last second I realized the lot I wanted was one more light up.
No problem, all was well, but why did she get me so concerned with that light direction?
When I got home I asked,
“Why did you confuse me with that turn at the light thing? There is no other way then to turn at the light. You confused me!”
“I figured that would help, and you were born confused, don’t blame me.”
“You’re a jerk!”