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Thursday, January 17, 2019

Why Worry When They Are Home?


Why Worry When They Are Home?

When my son is home I worry.  While he is away, I don’t.  Is it just me?  Why do I worry when he is home?

My youngest son was home for two weeks over his schools Christmas Vacation.  Spencer is a big boy.  He is a Junior in college.  He will be 21 in a month.  We don’t see him often, and we enjoy his visits, but he turns the house upside down.

Mrs. C and I have our routines.  We have schedules.  Spencer is a schedule ruining, routine disturbing machine. 

Missing a hair brush,

“SPENCE!! Have you seen my hair brush?”

Spencer, half asleep, “Ah wah…er…oh yeah, it’s in my jacket.”

No reason to ask why it is in his jacket, I am just happy to get it back.

I need my lighter to start the bar-b-que.

“SPENCE!! DO you have the lighter?”

Spencer, half asleep, “Ah wah…er…oh yeah, it’s in my jacket.”

No reason to ask why it is in his jacket, I am just happy to get it back.

Planning dinner is difficult as Spence does not know when he is visiting his old friends from my former town 20 minutes away.  We eat early then find he is not leaving until 10:30.

He is home at 2:30.

From 10:30 to 2:30 I worry.  Why do I worry?  He is not home 11 months of the year and I never worry any of those times.  Why do I worry when he is home?

He texts me when he gets to his friends, he texts when he is on his way home.  If he should not be driving, he stays at friends and lets me know. 

He is a good driver, why do I worry?

I think it is because we know our children from days when they were very young and very stupid.  It is hard to realize they have become responsible.  Perhaps it is also because I still can remember my days as a college junior and several weeks short of my 21st year. 

Actually, it is definitely because I still can remember my days as a college junior and several weeks short of my 21st year. 

When he is at school in a relatively enclosed, regulated environment with studies to keep him busy I don’t feel responsible for his well-being.  When he is at home, I feel more responsible for keeping him safe.  When he is at home I worry.  It makes very little sense.

Spence left for school last Saturday.

The Cranky house is back to normal.  Our schedules are as we like them.  Our routines are set.  Stuff is where stuff is supposed to be.  All is well again.

I do miss him…but I don’t worry.





16 comments:

  1. I'd be worried about why missing items are in his jacket. Is he planning on taking them back to college with him? I never worried much about my kids except New Years Eve each year for a short while when I knew my youngest was going out and meeting up with friends to see in the New Year, but he's 37 now, so I no longer worry.

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  2. My guess is that the missing items entered his pocket without him realising. It's all clever stuff!
    My lad joined the Para's at a very young age.... you can imagine my worry routine.

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  3. Missing people and worrying about them is human nature. It is because their presence has a good effect on us which their absence makes us miss them and worry.

    God bless.

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  4. the second we lay eyes on them we slip into parenting mode....can't be helped...it's what we do

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  5. If we worried about our kids and grandkids 365 days a year, it'd drive us nuts. Best to have faith that they are doing well all of those days of the year when we don't see them. We can save the worrying for when they visit, and then we can actually SEE them doing boneheaded things, and we... worry. We bite our tongues, but we worry.

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  6. I am EXACTLY the same way. My son is 24 and I still ask him to text me when he gets back to his apartment (2 hours away). He thinks it's wack, since he travels all over without me knowing the majority of the time.

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  7. It is easy not to worry when they are not around and you don't really know what they are up to. His texting you and not driving if had too many means you did a good job raising him. Don't worry.

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  8. We worry because we never stop being parents!!

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  9. I think we worry about our kids when we need to and them being underfoot can make you worry. It takes us back to their teenage years.

    Have a fabulous day and weekend, Joe. 😎

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  10. Nice post. Spence must have a jacket with many pockets.

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  11. Aside from missing things, Spencer's visit sound just like what we went through when The Pony was home at Christmas. He turns 21 next month, too. But he is NOT a good driver!

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  12. When they are home, you can actually see how they are behaving, thus the worry. When they are away, you can blithely believe that all is well, so no worries.

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  13. This is why I could never have son live with us again. When he did, I was always worrying if he was a fraction of a minute later than I thought he should be home even though he was an adult over 21 years old and could come and go as he seemed fit. He's 3 miles away now and that's a good distance not to have that constant worry, but when he texts and says he's on his way and then isn't here in 10-15 minutes like the trip should take, I'm pacing the halls wondering where he is and what kind of trouble he got himself in to.

    betty

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  14. We had a few of the boomerang kiddos..back, then out, back, then out..thankfully they are all out now and like you I don't fuss or worry as much. Although I texted the ones that live near us and made sure they were ready for this big snow storm today.(Their ages: 43, 38, 34) Once a parent always a parent. A few years ago my Mom bought me one of the toll pass things for the car. She worried about me getting over to the toll booths in Chicago when it was much easier to just by pass them with the over the road toll thing. She was in her 80's. Like I said, once a parent, always a parent!

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  15. I know EXACTLY what you mean. Makes perfect sense to me.

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