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Sunday, January 27, 2019

STUPID HEADLINES 012719


STUPID HEADLINES 012719

This weeks stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments

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Vatican track team runs first race – They did not do very well…they claim the  robes and funny hats slowed them down.

Man accidentally plays porn through speakers at girlfriend's sister's wedding – Oops!

Wisconsin man chops up belongings with ax after he thought wife damaged his action figures – Fortunately the wife who did not damage his precious action figures was not around.  The man may have anger issues.

Group of women attack food court employees at mall after card is declined – Because if you don’t pay your bills, someone gotta get beat up!

Florida police run over couple lying in the road to watch lunar eclipse – Florida, the state that just keeps giving to “Stupid Headlines.”

Oscar Mayer accepting applications for Wienermobile drivers – Experienced Wienermobile drivers only need apply.

Here's why Queen Elizabeth doesn’t need a driver’s license – BECAUSE SHE IS THE QUEEN!!

BuzzFeed announces plans to lay off 15 percent of staff- This could be fake news.

Patriots say mascot wasn't actually hospitalized after tackle by New York Jets' Jamal Adams – You can’t even trust the Patriot’s mascot!  I don’t know what his plan is, but somehow Belichick is behind this.

Alex Trebek opens up about his longtime marriage: ’29 years is pretty good’ – Oh no! It’s “What is 29 years is pretty good.”

Thieves in Chicago are targeting Canada Goose coats as temperatures plunge in city - Let those geese shiver, they should have stayed in Canada!


FEEL-GOOD news story of the week:

Baby gets first hearing aids, giggles uncontrollably at sound of big sister's voice – Unless you are “The Devil” this will make you smile.











10 comments:

  1. I love that video of the little kid hearing for the first time.
    It’s interesting that the people in Florida couldn’t find a better place to view the eclipse than the middle of the road.

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  2. I guess the Queen might as well give up her dream of being the Wienermobile driver.

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  3. Oh the baby video. She was thrilled and so was her mom. That was awesome. Great way to start my Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎

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  4. Because, if your action figures get damaged, why have any possessions at all, right?

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  5. Your feel good story was so moving I stole it!!

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  6. Porn through speakers at a wedding?

    Baby! How wonderful!

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  7. That baby video was adorable! I have a few comments..like always..(!) Action figure temper tantrum..never marry a preschooler..(2) porn at a wedding is better than funeral I guess. (3)Those babes at the food court sound very "Hangry" (4) I'd expect "lunatics" to be lying in the street to watch a lunar eclipse. (5)Last comment..I WANT THAT WIENER MOBILE JOB!! I'D BE LIVING THE DREAM!!

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  8. Saw the baby video and will have to watch it again, it's too precious.

    While i agree Florida seems to give you a lot of good headlines, sometimes i wonder if maybe the weird stuff that happens in Louisiana is just not as well known.

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  9. Glad (not) Florida is back. Last week, you had nothing from Florida. Almost worried me!

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