THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
NEW AND IMPROVED
This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!
Sunday, January 13, 2019
STUPID HEADLINES 011319
STUPID HEADLINES 011319
It's always the last place you look!
This week’s stupid
headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
Saudi women to be notified of divorce by
text message – What do they call a pre-nup in Saudi
Elizabeth Warren in Iowa: 'I am not a
person of color' – Maybe
not in Iowa, but the rest of the country considers blonde hair and blue eyes to
be a color.
Florida man finds out his dad helped
deliver him at birth, throws pizza at him – Only in Florida does the delivery man get the pizza! I
think he was mad because his Dad’s delivery took over ½ hour.
Rare penny might be worth $1.7M – Keep looking you future
pennymillionaires! I think it was found at a gas station chicken store.
Tasting Wine Stimulates Your Brain
More Than Math – This
is so stupid, why would tasting wine stimulate your math at all?
Paris' first all-nude restaurant
closing due to lack of customers – In what universe was this ever a good idea?Oh yeah, France.
Restaurant manager suspended for
racial profiling, throwing chair at black customer: 'I'm not trying to be
racist' - Dude, you
threw a chair at someone because he was black; “Not Trying?” I’m pretty sure that is racist!
The demise of Sears is rooted in the
erosion of American fundamentals – Yes, that and the store sucks!
Man walks into McDonald's with a dead
raccoon – No, this
is not the start of a stupid joke, this is an actual headline.
Nearly 100,000 au pairs brought to US
win $65.5 million settlement in Denver lawsuit – Even a full house of lawyers could
not beat au pair.
THE BIGGEST WHO GIVES A
CRAP HEADLINE OF THE WEEK:
Mark-Paul Gosselaar hasn’t spoken to
his 'Saved by the Bell' co-star Dustin Diamond in 25 years – Stop the presses, the last page of
the “WHO GIVES A CRAP GAZETTE” needs a story!
STORY OF THE WEEK:
Design Glitter Bomb Trap as Revenge for Thieves Stealing His Packages– Sometimes smart people doing stuff to screw with an asshole
just makes me feel good…is that wrong?