How Boring Are You?
People often
ask me,
“Cranky, you are a child of the
sixties, a crazy period in our country.
A time of sex, drugs and rock and roll.
A time of protests, a time of rebellion, oh the things you must have
seen, the things you must have done. How
many times have you been arrested, what is the craziest place where you have had
sex, what drugs did you take, how many battles did you fight?”
Surprisingly
enough, I was pretty boring, even in the sixties.
“How boring were you?”
Sex?
I got to second base with maybe three different women before I was first
married…how crazy is that?
Drugs?
I never had a drink until college and then only beer, I took a drag from
a joint when I was 22, and I actually saw someone snort coke but I turned it
down when it was offered.
Rock and Roll?
I listened, I tapped my feet, I hardly ever danced. The first concert I ever went to was John Denver (What, that’s not rock and
roll…never mind). I learned about Woodstock on Monday morning
after the event.
Protests? I complained about having to wear a
tie at dinner every night in college.
I started
smoking cigarettes when I dated a girl who smoked.
I started
drinking heavy every day while married to my second wife, probably better than
pushing her off a cliff. Well at least
that 12 years wasn’t boring!
I’ve been
ticked for speeding once in fifty years, and that was an unavoidable speed trap
for revenue gathering purposes…Oh, and I once got a parking ticket.
I did get
into three fights in grade school, I won 2 and lost 1. I think there were punches thrown but there
was no blood.
Sky
dive...no, scuba dive…no, flown a plane…no, I did race sailboats, in the bay,
not the ocean, does that count for excitement…no? Dang!
I’ve never
gambled more than $50, and only slot machines.
My only
academic award was on a Latin test…honorable mention in a dead language, how is
that for boring?
In high
school I owned a sports car, but I never street raced it.
I got
detention in school for talking in study hall, but I was never suspended, and I
never cut a class. What was my grade
average in both high school and college?
Drum roll please…
"C”.
How boring
am I? I got nothing else, I’m so boring
even my examples of boring are boring.
How boring
are you?
Wow. I guess you were born to be mi-ii-ii-ild.
ReplyDeleteWe won't talk about the gambling. Let's just say I've got you beat. You HAVE made out with more women than me, though. So there's that. And you lead in fights, sailboat races, and daily drinking. However...I've been stopped 8 times for speeding. With either 2 or 3 tickets. And yes, one of them WAS a speed trap! A MO State Trooper had the nerve to ask me, "Do you know how fast you were going?" My answer was, "Pretty fast."
So...how boring am I? Pretty boring.
I used to be a lot less boring than I am now.
ReplyDeleteFor me there's been no smoking, no drinking, no driving, so possibly I'm more boring than you. I was a bit too young to get on the hippie bandwagon, it came late to our shore anyway and I really didn't fancy living a life where I didn't wash myself or my clothes. I was just one of those who did as I was told most of my life, without question too. Pretty dull, right?
ReplyDeleteMy life is boring now, but it wasn't always. See here: https://fishducky.blogspot.com/2017/09/happy-birthday-to-me.html
ReplyDeleteMy reply to your final question is.... VERY!
ReplyDeleteLol, I guess I'm boring by those standards too. But I do enjoy traveling to different places every year and seeing new things, while most people I know rent the same condo in Hilton Head or Florida, so I'm not boring in that regard.
ReplyDeleteWell ... I started being boring many years ago ... it was on a Tuesday ... or was it Wednesday? No ... it was a Tuesday as I remember ... Or it could have been on a Thursday because we always went shopping on Thursdays. Then we changed days and went shopping on Fridays after work. Anyway ... a long time ago ... on a Tuesday ... or a Friday ... I forgot what I was about to say ... Oh yes, about being boring ... Are you still listening? Stop yawning!
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
I'm pretty boring Cranky....the only excitement I can lay claim to is being thrown out of class in high school. I'm innocent I tell you, innocent. So yeah...pretty boring.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty boring and plan on getting even more boring. Married to the same man for 53 years. Lived in our current home for 15 years. We traveled a lot, but that was partly because my husband was in the military. Without that we would probably be living in our hometown in California instead of near Savannah, GA.
ReplyDeleteI was a borderline wild child, mostly staying within the law but not always. I was game for most anything. Now days I totally qualify as boring.
ReplyDeleteI'm only slightly less boring than you, Cranky. I never skipped class in high school, but I have been known to blow off a college class or two or...? I was a B+ student in HS, less than that in college. I smoked in college but quit after my first daughter was born. Never did drugs. I've never been arrested, but I have had a few speeding tickets, deservedly. I have had the pleasure of knowing some wonderful women. Today I'm completely happy with my one and only.
ReplyDeleteI have some WILD and CRAZY blog friends!
ReplyDeleteI was a wild child. The life of the party. I didn't let any moss grow under my feet. Drugs were not my thing, but just about everything else was my thing.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
My early years in the Air Force were like something out of a music video. A wild music video. Now? I know ministers who are less boring than me.
ReplyDeleteI suspect that I'm pretty boring. However, I have in fact flown a plane. I soloed, and then was working on starting to do "Cross countries" after having flown on my own for a few more hours, and the place went bankrupt. Changed jobs, got even poorer, and couldn't afford to go back. Now I'm too old.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, meh. No substance abuse, except maybe a little too much beer from time to time.
I got one of those speed trap speeding tickets -- 29 MPH in a two block long 20 zone. Granted that was nine miles over the limit, but who gets a speeding ticket for 29 MPH?
ReplyDeleteMostly i am boring, with the exception of a couple of medical issues. One of mine is actually in the journals.
ReplyDeleteI reckon I'm pretty boring, too, but I can still make my hubby laugh, so that's gotta count for something. In the sixties, I kinda looked like a hippie... long blonde hair and a guitar slung over my back. Getting together with my friends for impromptu hootenannies was was of my favorite things, but there was no booze or drugs involved. I would've LOVED to go to Woodstock, but I was already married, and my husband was in Vietnam at the time, so I worked hard and saved money so we could buy our first house when he got home. Yeah... boring. (But happy!)
ReplyDeleteI'm way boring now. I used to always be up for an adventure. I always gravitated toward those less savory friends. I knew how far to go, before it was downright criminal. I smoked my first joint in the 6th grade (on the school playground) I cut school so much, that to this day, I have nightmares that I am waiting for report cards scared to death I will fail and my folks will find out. I painted the school bathroom with a friend using poster paint. I've been kicked out off the school bus many times. I cut school all day for the first time in the 7th grade and got drunk drinking Colt 45. I could go on and on. Thankfully, I must have had a angel watching over me because I did come out of it unscathed. I am NOW a law abiding citizen. I don't drink but I do dabble in legal marijuana... for my health, of course!!!
ReplyDeleteOh you cannot defeat me in this battle i bet!
ReplyDeletei am horribly boring and i feel sorry for hubby who bears all my boring ness and still says"that is why i chose you" what a lie lol (but i don't say this to him)
Boring is highly underrated!
ReplyDelete