Random Cranky Thoughts*
If you took
away “like” “basically” “I mean” “you know” “super” and “and things of that
nature” Half the people on Reality TV could not talk. |
| Not my random thought, but a good one! |
If man is so
smart, why did it take so long to put wheels on a suitcase.
Does being someone’s
sole mate mean they can walk all over you?
I’m pretty
sure I once found two snowflakes that were absolutely identical, but they
melted before I could take a picture.
Casual
appearance means you spend a lot of time trying to look like you spent no time getting ready to go out.
Women make
decisions on how they FEEL. Men make
decisions on what they THINK. Men are
good at practical stuff, women can spot a sleaze-bag from 100 yards.
People that
are good spellers are very smart, they also tend to be really annoying.
Surprisingly,
it is possible to make a right-hand turn without first pulling to the left.
A personal
computer is a device that saves lots of time so you can waste lots of time on a
personal computer.
I’ve often
heard it said that there are more stars in the sky than grains of sand on the
beach. Which beach, and whose counting?
A schizophrenic
is a person that says, “Insanity is doing
the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result” but
will also tell you “If at first you don’t
succeed, try, try, try again!”
A person who
does not know the answer to a question is ignorant, a person who does not want
to know the answer to a question is stupid.
A dog barks
at the postman everyday and everyday the postman leaves without knocking…does
the dog think he scared him away?
The odds of
getting hit by lightening are higher than the odds of being attacked by a shark…the odds change significantly if you go in the ocean!
Just because
they are expensive, BMW’s do not come with the road, BMW drivers just think the
own it.
*The
thoughts are mine, I may have subconsciously stolen the post concept from fishducky
Yes, I agree that "Women make decisions on how they FEEL. Men make decisions on what they THINK." And sometimes, men make decisions without even thinking! At my house, anyway.
ReplyDeleteBMW observation is dead on.
ReplyDeleteDon't swim with two sharks because it will make the odds even.
ReplyDeleteFor our holiday we could not afford to swim with dolphins; so we swam with sardines instead.
God bless.
I love the stars in the sky one :)
ReplyDeletealso, (says miss smartypants) lightning has no 'e'
"sole mate"? probably could walk all over you, a "soul mate" is an entirely different thing.
Yes, the dog does think he scared the postman away, that's why he repeats the behavior. Same with chasing a car, it made the last car go away, he is convinced it will make this one go away, too. Dogs are simple creatures, i sometimes wish we were a bit more like that.
ReplyDeleteThomas Edison would tell you to try, try again, because he was working with material goods that can be manipulated in various ways to produce various results, you just keep trying until you find the right combination. Trying to do the same thing over and over with another person (i.e., trying to argue them into seeing your point of view) and expecting a different result, or trying again and again to resist eating the ice cream you bought for the children when you know you should just not buy ice cream because you will eat it, that is insanity.
You hit it with the reality tv personalities: "like" is one of those words that make me want to throttle someone. There's a perfectly nice kid in my Monday church class who can't say one sentence without having, like, you know, like three or four likes in one, like, sentence. And he is in college. ARGGHHHH
ReplyDeleteYou may have stolen the idea, but you still wrote a GREAT post!!
ReplyDelete"You know" at the end of each sentence sets my teeth on edge and I always interrupt to say,"No I don't know." They quickly tire of hearing that.
ReplyDeleteI mean, You know, Like, Look here's the thing (cable news) and I ran out of ideas.
ReplyDeleteYes, men think when they have to. Women always feel (and think).
ReplyDeleteLet me add my cranky thought:
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of vehicles driving on the roads that need to have their turn signal fluid refilled!
Of course if you are lightening your hair colour, there's an 'e' in that one, or lightening the mood of a dark room by repainting in a lighter colour, there's an "e" in that one too, says Miss Smartypants.
ReplyDeleteWhy does Starbucks have such a high employee turnover? They seem to be just as bad in employee turnover as Walmart (45%).
ReplyDelete