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Friday, November 23, 2018


Actually not that funny

A cranky opinion for


I have a beef, but first a little truth in blogging:

I am not a nice person, I am actually a nasty bastard.  I do try and cover this up and try to blog only about innocent things.  I have mostly stopped with opinions on politics where I am clearly a racist, xenophobic, and misogynist.  I try to only post on innocuous crap, with the exception of occasionally poking fun at Mrs. C which, generally ends up as self-effacing peeks into my boring life.


Recently one of my most innocent satirical posts upset a very nice person and I realized that even with only 27 readers, no matter what you say, there is an excellent chance of accidentally hitting someone’s nerve.  With that in mind I am going to rant on a subject that pisses me off.  If you are easily disturbed by almost anything not pictures of cats or food, please stop reading now.

Begin Rant:


I used to be a smoker. Perhaps you could say a “Smoke-aholic.”  It is a horrible addiction and was very difficult to quit.

I used to get hammered on wine and scotch virtually every night.  Perhaps you could say I was an “alcoholic.”  It is a horrible addiction and was very difficult to quit. (I do still enjoy an occasional glass of wine with dinner or port with a cigar.)

Addictions are not a laughing matter.  Addictions ruin millions of  lives daily, and yet in a society where you cannot even say or print some words like “bitch,” “nigger,” “asshole” and others, regardless of the context, it is quite all right to make a joke of addictions.

What am I talking about?

I am talking about the people who love to  shop, can afford to shop and refer to themselves jokingly and with actual pride as a “Shop-aholic.”

No you are not!  It is not an addiction, you just like to shop!  You can stop shopping if you want, it does not negatively affect your life, you are actually bragging that you can afford to buy stuff and you do buy stuff.  If you were a real “Shop-aholic” you would be ashamed of your purchases, you would hide your purchases and you would be deep in debt.

This one really pisses me off.  People who claim to be a “Choc-oholic.”  I had a sister-in-law that weighted 17 pounds who claimed she was a “Choc-oholic!”  She probably ate a piece of chocolate a week and then went to the gym and ran the treadmill for 2 hours.  Real “Choc-oholics” are obese, diabetic, miserable, and ashamed, it is not something to casually boast about.

A lot of ladies claim to be “Wine-aholics.”  They laugh about “Mommies little helper”, and make jokes about sneaking wine in a sippy cup.  You are making fun of a disease that is far from funny, and by the way some of these ladies are probably future alcoholics.

Stop it!

That’s it, that’s my rant.  Stop with the “Blank-aholic” references.  You may like to shop, you may like chocolate, you may like an occasional glass of wine, you are not an -aholic anything! 

Anything “-aholic” is not funny, and if you claim to be “-aholic” to anything, it is a sure sign that you are not addicted.  Addicted people do not admit to their addiction, they try and hide it.

End of rant.

Tomorrow I will make fun of Mrs. C in a way that actually shows I am a JERK-AHOLIC!


  1. I think I am addicted to your blog; do you think I should try to quit?

  2. I used to make the Choc-aholic joke because I do eat a lot of chocolate, but I can get by without it and there are plenty of weeks when I don't even go down the chocolate aisle in the supermarket, so I stopped saying choc-aholic several years ago. Some days I don't eat any even if there is some in the house.

  3. There are several actual addicts who attend meetings in my family, and i agree with you on this one. No one should make light of it.

  4. Don't people get satire? I do. Most adults do. Oh well. I love your rants.

    Have a fabulous weekend. 😎

  5. I've never thought about it, but you are correct that real addicts are not bragging about it.

  6. I am not ashamed of my Diet Coke habit, even though others try to shame me for it. I CAN quit, and after a two-day headache I can live Diet Coke free. So I'm not an -aholic.

  7. I had the alcohol and cigarette thing and even though I quit both in 76, it has put my health in danger. Well maybe not. Had I not stopped I seriously doubt I'd be here today at 79 enjoying your posts. I agree,-aholics don't brag, they deny and rationalize.

  8. Yep. Until someone I love very much almost died from a -alholic issue I failed to see this is never funny.

  9. Now you made me think, because I've joked and kidded about various -aholic issues. You are right, and I will stop doing that. I had never thought before that I was making light of something that is a sad and serious addiction.