STUPID HEADLINES 111818
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Texas woman’s divorce ends in
explosion of wedding dress felt ‘15 miles away’ – I know a couple of ladies that should
have tried this…with the dress still on.
Naked man seen creeping around
houses, peeping into windows at night – Eye witnesses could provide no
description, “He was
naked, I looked away!”
Man, 35, reportedly marries computer
hologram – The Bible
says Adam and Eve, not Adam and Deceive.
Christian student senator at UC
Berkeley harassed for abstaining from pro-LGBTQ vote – No judgement, just wondering that if
abstaining from voting on anything brings ostracization, why do they even take
a vote? What ever the issue, just
friggin decree it.
Michigan mother gave infant methadone
because she was 'being fussy' – I used to rub a little scotch on the gums of a fussy child,
but I do believe methadone is a real bad idea.
Prince Charles is 'infatuated' with squirrels,
keeps 'nuts in his pockets' – Does he really like squirrels? or is “Keep you nuts in your
pocket” just an English expression for…you know; keep you nuts in your pocket!
Wisconsin Glassware Company Gifts
Employees With Handguns for Christmas – This may or may not be a good idea, but check out the
company’s product.
I need one of these!
People are paying $200 for designer
Thanksgiving turkeys – I’d never pay that much, seems to me that after you cut that first slice with the ESL logo, no one is going
to know.
Heinz Offers Patrick Mahomes Free
Ketchup for Life If He Throws 57 TDs in 2018 – The KC Chief QB signed for 10 million
dollars, makes 4 million dollars a year for four years…Free ketchup for life is
probably not high on his list of incentives to throw TD passes.
Male Gym Teacher Punished for
Refusing to Watch Young Girl Strip Down in Boys Locker Room – I did not read this article, there is
no way in Hell I would understand it regardless of the context.
Camel Stranded Along Snowy Pa Road – No, really, there was a stranded
camel on rt 309 near Bethlehem…police are on the lookout for three wise men. *
· Ok. I stole that comment from someone
on Facebook.
Runner volunteered to train blind
athlete for marathon, then they fell in love – Feel-good story on several levels.
You would think the search would be on for three wise guys who let a camel loose in Pennsylvania. Sorry, i could not resist.
ReplyDeleteHeinz 57 Varieties wants 57 touchdown passes, you would think they could search for some high school kid who made that many in his high school career and give him the prize. The pro athlete gets plenty, c'mon. Heinz, go support some poor kid who is training hard and wants to work for it.
Thank heaven the gym teacher looked away, if he hadn't, he'd be facing charges most likely. He and the abstaining student senator are danged if they do and danged if they don't.
Great feel-good story!
I don't make what an NFL quarterback makes, but I don't think I'm going to do it well unless someone promises me condiments for life.
ReplyDeleteMy 13-year-old self loves the top headline. Another great example of why punctuation (in this case the hyphen) is pretty important.
ReplyDeleteI saw the bride and the camel stories on the news (I guess you could call it news). I loved the camel walking along the road in the snowstorm. That would be something to see.
ReplyDeleteYour feel good story was wonderful but Wisconsin Glassware Company Gifts Employees With Handguns for Christmas was unbelievably dumb!!
ReplyDeleteWow, that blind runner and his girl friend fed my romantic nature for the year. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteWhere do they think up such headlines?
ReplyDeleteGod bless you Joe.
My 13-year-old self wishes I could've gone to that school. . .
ReplyDeleteYeah, those Berkeley kids are wonderfully tolerant. . . unless you disagree with 'em. . .
I feel like I should have something clever to say about Prince Charles and 'nuts in his pockets', but I got nuthin'. . .
And I'm really wondering what makes a turkey 'designer'. . .
(*sigh*) I did go and read the story about the gym teacher. Your intuition was right; you're better off not knowing. . .
Wisconsin Glassware Company Gifts Employees With Handguns for Christmas...wow! I wonder if I could exchange my present for a camera (makes for much better shooting!)?
ReplyDelete