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Sunday, November 18, 2018



 This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.


Texas woman’s divorce ends in explosion of wedding dress felt ‘15 miles away’ – I know a couple of ladies that should have tried this…with the dress still on.

Naked man seen creeping around houses, peeping into windows at night – Eye witnesses could provide no description, “He was naked, I looked away!”

Man, 35, reportedly marries computer hologram – The Bible says Adam and Eve, not Adam and Deceive.

Christian student senator at UC Berkeley harassed for abstaining from pro-LGBTQ vote – No judgement, just wondering that if abstaining from voting on anything brings ostracization, why do they even take a vote?  What ever the issue, just friggin decree it.

Michigan mother gave infant methadone because she was 'being fussy' – I used to rub a little scotch on the gums of a fussy child, but I do believe methadone is a real bad idea.

Prince Charles is 'infatuated' with squirrels, keeps 'nuts in his pockets' – Does he really like squirrels? or is “Keep you nuts in your pocket” just an English expression for…you know; keep you nuts in your pocket!

Wisconsin Glassware Company Gifts Employees With Handguns for Christmas – This may or may not be a good idea, but check out the company’s product.

I need one of these!

People are paying $200 for designer Thanksgiving turkeys – I’d never pay that much, seems to me that after you cut that  first slice with the ESL logo, no one is going to know.

Heinz Offers Patrick Mahomes Free Ketchup for Life If He Throws 57 TDs in 2018 – The KC Chief QB signed for 10 million dollars, makes 4 million dollars a year for four years…Free ketchup for life is probably not high on his list of incentives to throw TD passes.

Male Gym Teacher Punished for Refusing to Watch Young Girl Strip Down in Boys Locker Room – I did not read this article, there is no way in Hell I would understand it regardless of the context.

Camel Stranded Along Snowy Pa Road – No, really, there was a stranded camel on rt 309 near Bethlehem…police are on the lookout for three wise men. *

·       Ok. I stole that comment from someone on Facebook.


Runner volunteered to train blind athlete for marathon, then they fell in love – Feel-good story on several levels.


  1. You would think the search would be on for three wise guys who let a camel loose in Pennsylvania. Sorry, i could not resist.

    Heinz 57 Varieties wants 57 touchdown passes, you would think they could search for some high school kid who made that many in his high school career and give him the prize. The pro athlete gets plenty, c'mon. Heinz, go support some poor kid who is training hard and wants to work for it.

    Thank heaven the gym teacher looked away, if he hadn't, he'd be facing charges most likely. He and the abstaining student senator are danged if they do and danged if they don't.

    Great feel-good story!

  2. I don't make what an NFL quarterback makes, but I don't think I'm going to do it well unless someone promises me condiments for life.

  3. My 13-year-old self loves the top headline. Another great example of why punctuation (in this case the hyphen) is pretty important.

  4. I saw the bride and the camel stories on the news (I guess you could call it news). I loved the camel walking along the road in the snowstorm. That would be something to see.

  5. Your feel good story was wonderful but Wisconsin Glassware Company Gifts Employees With Handguns for Christmas was unbelievably dumb!!

  6. Wow, that blind runner and his girl friend fed my romantic nature for the year. Thanks.

  7. Where do they think up such headlines?

    God bless you Joe.

  8. My 13-year-old self wishes I could've gone to that school. . .

    Yeah, those Berkeley kids are wonderfully tolerant. . . unless you disagree with 'em. . .

    I feel like I should have something clever to say about Prince Charles and 'nuts in his pockets', but I got nuthin'. . .

    And I'm really wondering what makes a turkey 'designer'. . .

    (*sigh*) I did go and read the story about the gym teacher. Your intuition was right; you're better off not knowing. . .

  9. Wisconsin Glassware Company Gifts Employees With Handguns for! I wonder if I could exchange my present for a camera (makes for much better shooting!)?