Stupid Headlines 111118
This week’s stupid headlines and my
stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Miss BumBum contestants get into
fight over fake butt accusations – Not sure how you fake a great butt, but I would volunteer to double check.
Colorado votes to abolish
slavery – I’m
pretty sure Lincoln took care of that a few years ago…must be the pot talking.
Man shamed for proposing at New York
City Marathon as girlfriend runs by: 'He couldn't propose to her at the finish
line?' – To all you
basement dwelling Twitter a-holes…the lady was happy, the dude was happy,
STFU!!
McDonald's customers’ $5M lawsuit
over unwanted Quarter Pounder cheese dismissed by judge – Customer ordered a “Quarter Pounder
with cheese” without the cheese and was still charged for the cheese. Damn if they got 5 million dollars for that,
I was going to sue because I order without the pickle and still pay full price.
Vogue Asks Why White Women Keep
Voting for GOP, 'Against Their Own Interests' -Apparently, according to Vogue, White
Women are really stupid! What other answer could there possibly be?
Delta apologizes after customer was
'covered' in dog poop from seat – Well, as long as they said they were sorry that he sat in dog
shit because they didn’t clean it or even warn him, I don’t see what he is
complaining about.
Texas state lawmaker wins re-election
from his jail cell – His
platform called for term limits.
Voters
choose dead pimp over Democratic opponent – His winning
slogan, “OK, I’m a pimp, but I’m dead how much harm can I cause?”
Georgia woman shot at parents because
father refused to turn off college football game – What? Turn off a football game…in
Georgia? Is this the Georgia in America?
China develops virtual, Artificial Intelligence
newsperson that looks human – Artificial Intelligence makes sense, but you can look
human, or you can look like a newsperson, not sure you can look like both.
A Tear Jerker:
NYPD salutes K-9 as she loses battle
with cancer – A FEEL-GOOD kind of tear.
FEEL-GOOD STORY:
6-year-old boy who can't play outside
due to rare disease finds a friend in school resource officer –
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Come back next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the girlfriend was probably grateful for the brief rest while he proposed. Hope he gave her some Gatorade with the ring.
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! My 13-year-old self is outraged to discover only today that there IS SUCH A THING as a Miss BumBum Contest. The marathon proposal complainers? C'mon! It's not like he stopped her in the 100 meter hurdles. She had over 26 miles to get on pace. It's not like the brief interlude would make or break her finish time.
ReplyDeleteI ALWAYS love your Stupid Headlines!!
ReplyDeleteSometimes i marvel at how you find these. Loved the tear jerker and the feel good story.
ReplyDeleteMiss BumBum. How sexist! It should be Ms. BumBum.
ReplyDelete"What? Turn off a football game…in Georgia?" That would be kind of like one of the kids telling me to turn off the NASCAR race with only 10 laps to go...yeah they would have to shoot me!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the New York City Marathon runner was so happy about the proposal that she finished the race at a personal best pace.
ReplyDelete