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Tuesday, November 20, 2018
I can’t go through a day of TV watching without seeing the same infomercial for wrinkle cream. (Yes, I do watch too much TV)
This commercial shows an old dude with bags under his eyes and a “Beauty Expert” who reports as he spreads the cream on his eye-bags.
The “Beauty Expert” tells you as the dude slaps on the cream,
“We have a model; his name is Ritchie…”
Time laps photography shows the wrinkles practically disappearing, and the Beauty Expert goes gaga,
“We were screaming three minutes, four minutes as the eye-bags disappeared!”
Mind you, he still looks like an old dude, but the wrinkles do almost go away.
What gets my attention from this commercial, is not WOW that crap really works! No, I wonder about two things.
First, what makes someone a “Beauty Expert?”
I mean do you go to school to become a “Beauty Expert?”
I don’t remember a major at my college for “Beauty Expert.” I think it would be a pretty easy curriculum:
“Welcome class to “Beauty Expert” 101. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Got that? OK, dismissed, you are all now “Beauty Experts.”
The second thing that grabs my attention in this infomercial is, are there really professional eye-bag models?
“We have a model; his name is Ritchie…” WTH? How do I get this gig? I have eye-bags that are every bit as baggy as Ritchie’s! How do you become an eye-bag model? Do eye-bag models get paid a lot? How many gigs could there possibly be for an eye-bag model.
Do they have a cattle call for eye-bag modeling jobs?
“You, number three, thank you for coming, but were going to go with Ritchie, he is just the guy to go to for eye-bag parts.”
Damn that Ritchie, other eye-bag models have been waiting years for a call and he beats them out.
I think I will no longer put “Retired” on my income tax form. I think I will become either a Beauty Expert, or an Eye-Bag model.