Who Are They Protecting?

Who Are They Protecting?

By who (I think it should be whom, but that just sounds stupid and stuffy to me) I mean politicians and lawyers.  I do not want to disparage all politicians and lawyers, by no means, but sometimes when they do their job to protect us, just the opposite is the result.

What?

Yeah, that is a bit of a jumble, here is the thing:

This morning I saw another of those TV ads that if you own a TV you have seen and made fun of. (Please don’t tell me how proud you are that you do not own or watch TV, first of all you are lying and secondly that is like being proud of not yet succumbing to indoor plumbing).  (And dammit yes you can end a sentence a preposition with…well sometimes).

Did I just interject a thought with double parenthesis comments?  I think I did…I do apologize.

Anyway

This ad was for “Oh-something” a drug which did not cure Fatal Toe Fungus, or FTF, but was shown to extend a person’s life who suffers FTF by almost three weeks… (better buy this stuff quick). AND, I love this, they claim

‘You may even lose some weight!’

Fuck gaining three more weeks of life, I want to lose some pounds! 

I assume that “Oh-something” was another invention in a long line of scientific breakthroughs discovered by Oprah “The Magnificent,” but I could be wrong.

After explaining how “Oh-something” could get you another three weeks of Fatal Toe Fungus misery, the ad followed with the usual warnings of possible negative effects from flatulence, bleeding from the eyeballs to attempts to shoot yourself.  It then thoughtfully suggests that if you have any of these symptoms you should call a doctor…DUH!  It of course ends with my favorite warning,

“If you are allergic to ‘Oh-something’, stop taking it.”

Like, if you are allergic to something, you would take it in the first place?

Anyway, and finally I will make my point.

Huh?

Oh yeah, my point.  My point is that these warnings which are supposed to protect us do not protect us at all.  They are clearly made to protect Oprah’s ass so you can not sue her if ANYTHING goes wrong. 

Rather than fight a frivolous law suit claiming a drug caused a person to have a low IQ, they can simply claim “We warned you!”

These warnings do not protect you, they only make you ignore any real potential problems with the drug and take the damn stuff anyway.

Hell, “YOU MAY EVEN LOSE SOME WEIGHT!!”

 It’s kind of like your mom before you leave the house, “Its cold, wear a hat, don’t forget your umbrella, there is a pot hole on third avenue, and sometimes the accelerator gets stuck and the car won’t stop!”

I think the same thing tends to happen with Government regulations.  In an attempt to save citizens from anything bad possibly happening, politicians invented regulations.

Yes, regulations are necessary, for instance stopping at a red light is an example of a good regulation. 

However, if you put a red light at every corner, even corners with little- to zippity-do-dah traffic, it does not take long for people to ignore those lights and eventually just run through the lights that do have heavy traffic…see the problem there? 

Ok, might not be my best analogy, but there are regulations in our lives and in production, banking and service industries that are so silly and miniscule that people take short cuts, or even pay off inspectors just to move on with their life.  Sometimes stupid miniscule regulations are confused with something really important, and bingo…big problem.

Apparently, that torque pressure on the dingle valve of oil pump number three was more important than the drop of water on a ramp.  One regulation is to avoid slipping and bruising your heiney, the other is to prevent the oil rig from blowing up, killing dozens of people and polluting the entire Gulf of Mexico. 

Probably should have adjusted the torque…oh well!

I could go on about regulations, warnings, car recalls and more, but I forgot what the heck my point was going to be.  I may have already made it…I’m not sure, but this post has exceeded my normal 500-word per post regulation.

I’m old, I only have sixteen readers, so who cares what my point was going to be? 

“Say yes to the dress” is about to come on TV. 

Cranky has left the blog.