Stupid Headlines 102818
This week’s stupid headlines and my
stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Rustled bag of gum leads to ‘violent
attack’ during Mahler’s 5th Symphony – Everyone knows that in the second movement of Mahler’s 5th
Symphony the percussionist is supposed to rustle a bag of chips, not gum!
New Jersey mom credited
with stopping potential school shooting in Kentucky – I’m telling you,
Jersey girls are special!
World Series cities Los Angeles,
Boston place seafood wager on game outcome – Oh for crap sake, put some serious money on the damm
series…friggin phony ass
politicians!
Humvee dropped from Air Force plane
by mistake in North Carolina neighborhood – “OK, drop it on three.” “Hey
Sarge, how old is your daughter?” “She
just turned three…NO!!”
Meghan Markle has noticeable wardrobe
malfunction while arriving in Tonga – It’s not what you think, a tag was left on her dress…like
many women, she was probably going to return it after wearing it one time.
Carrie Underwood mom-shamed for
wearing makeup to her son's soccer game – Of course, if she had no make-up the trolls would be
all over her for that…this is why I avoid being famous and talented.
The Simple Reason Why the Mega
Millions Jackpot Winner Should Take the Lump Sum – That’s right, some numb nutz actually
wrote an article on why the winner of the Mega Millions should take the lump
sum of 868 million dollars instead of taking 51 million dollars a year for 30
years…REALLY!! Worse yet, I read it!
HBO hires 'intimacy coordinators' to
monitor sex scenes – I
almost majored in “Intimacy Coordination” in college.
Kitten Cruelly
Glued to Busy Road Rescued by Good Samaritan – Dick-head of the
week goes to the A-hole that glued a kitten to the street, kudos goes to the dude that saved and now takes care of the kitten.
POTENTIAL FEEL-GOOD
STORY:
South Carolina family asks hunters
not to kill pet deer – Fingers crossed, most hunters have responded “He gets a pass.”
FEEL-GOOD/Funny STORY
OF THE WEEK
Dog in Oklahoma pretends to be stray
to get free McDonald’s hamburgers – Feel-good/make you laugh…potato/patato, plus I love dogs…I
especially like the owners post on Facebook!
“If you see my dog @ the
McDonald’s on shields, quit feeding her fat ass bc she don’t know how to act
& be leaving the house all the time to go walking to McDonald’s at night.
She’s not even a stray dog. She’s just a gold diggin ass bitch that be acting
like she’s a stray so people will feel bad for her & feed her burgers.”
FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE
WEEK
Mookie Betts fed Boston’s homeless at
1 a.m. after winning Game 2 of the World Series – Much as I dislike this guy for
kicking my Yankee’s ass, he is a really good ballplayer, and apparently a
pretty good dude outside of Fenway. When
is he a free agent, we have himeless in NYC too?
Love your feel good stories this week--clever dog!!
ReplyDeleteIt's good to laugh. Thanx for your contributions.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you.
I am still trying to get over the glued cat. Thank God he was rescued.
ReplyDeleteHad to laugh at the mooching stray dog impersonator. Think I once rescued?? one like that at a Checkers. She looked prosperous but no one claimed her. Those Checker's fries are super.
I love your feel good stories the best. We need the feel good stories with all the horrible politics we have to endure.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. 😎
At least Carrie Underwood didn't leave a tag on her clothes, and risk being Meghan-Markle-shamed, too.
ReplyDeleteI clicked on the story with the South Carolina pet deer and the dog in Oklahoma and I got an "Access denied" message. Fox News doesn't like me?
ReplyDeleteYou must be one of those Democrats. If you google the headline, i'm sure you can find it.
DeleteOh, I get denied also...oh well.
Delete