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Saturday, October 27, 2018

Stupid Headlines 102818

Stupid Headlines 102818

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.


Rustled bag of gum leads to ‘violent attack’ during Mahler’s 5th Symphony – Everyone knows that in the second movement of Mahler’s 5th Symphony the percussionist is supposed to rustle a bag of chips, not gum!

New Jersey mom credited with stopping potential school shooting in Kentucky – I’m telling you, Jersey girls are special!

World Series cities Los Angeles, Boston place seafood wager on game outcome – Oh for crap sake, put some serious money on the damm series…friggin phony ass politicians!

Humvee dropped from Air Force plane by mistake in North Carolina neighborhood“OK, drop it on three.” “Hey Sarge, how old is your daughter?” “She just turned three…NO!!

Meghan Markle has noticeable wardrobe malfunction while arriving in Tonga – It’s not what you think, a tag was left on her dress…like many women, she was probably going to return it after wearing it one time.

Carrie Underwood mom-shamed for wearing makeup to her son's soccer game – Of course, if she had no make-up the trolls would be all over her for that…this is why I avoid being famous and talented.

The Simple Reason Why the Mega Millions Jackpot Winner Should Take the Lump Sum – That’s right, some numb nutz actually wrote an article on why the winner of the Mega Millions should take the lump sum of 868 million dollars instead of taking 51 million dollars a year for 30 years…REALLY!! Worse yet, I read it!

HBO hires 'intimacy coordinators' to monitor sex scenes – I almost majored in “Intimacy Coordination” in college.

Kitten Cruelly Glued to Busy Road Rescued by Good Samaritan – Dick-head of the week goes to the A-hole that glued a kitten to the street, kudos goes to the dude that saved and now takes care of the kitten.


South Carolina family asks hunters not to kill pet deer – Fingers crossed, most hunters have responded “He gets a pass.”


Dog in Oklahoma pretends to be stray to get free McDonald’s hamburgers – Feel-good/make you laugh…potato/patato, plus I love dogs…I especially like the owners post on Facebook!

“If you see my dog @ the McDonald’s on shields, quit feeding her fat ass bc she don’t know how to act & be leaving the house all the time to go walking to McDonald’s at night. She’s not even a stray dog. She’s just a gold diggin ass bitch that be acting like she’s a stray so people will feel bad for her & feed her burgers.”


Mookie Betts fed Boston’s homeless at 1 a.m. after winning Game 2 of the World Series – Much as I dislike this guy for kicking my Yankee’s ass, he is a really good ballplayer, and apparently a pretty good dude outside of Fenway.  When is he a free agent, we have himeless in NYC too?


  1. Love your feel good stories this week--clever dog!!

  2. It's good to laugh. Thanx for your contributions.

    God bless you.

  3. I am still trying to get over the glued cat. Thank God he was rescued.
    Had to laugh at the mooching stray dog impersonator. Think I once rescued?? one like that at a Checkers. She looked prosperous but no one claimed her. Those Checker's fries are super.

  4. I love your feel good stories the best. We need the feel good stories with all the horrible politics we have to endure.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎

  5. At least Carrie Underwood didn't leave a tag on her clothes, and risk being Meghan-Markle-shamed, too.

  6. I clicked on the story with the South Carolina pet deer and the dog in Oklahoma and I got an "Access denied" message. Fox News doesn't like me?

    1. You must be one of those Democrats. If you google the headline, i'm sure you can find it.

    2. Oh, I get denied also...oh well.