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Monday, October 15, 2018

Stupid Headlines 101418


Stupid Headlines 101418 (on 101518)

 This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

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Florida man wasn’t drinking while driving, just at stop signs - Unfortunately for him, Florida has a three stop sign drink limit.
800-pound hammer stolen from California community center – Now how will the community center pound 20 pound nails?

Emotional support' squirrel gets passenger removed from Frontier flight – I wonder what the passenger did to the squirrel to get kicked off.

Tennis pro shamed after video shows him mistreating ball boy –

Pro -  Fernando Verdasco: Some people say this is a DICK move…you be the judge.


Never mind, I’ll be the judge…the man is a DICK!

San Francisco dubbed 'doo-doo capital' of the country – It used to be a city to leave your heart.

Marlboro maker reportedly wants stake in Canadian pot grower – You get a lot to like with a Marlboro; filter, flavor, flip-top box! Also blazed, baked and munchies.

Faulty breast implant victims may have to return compensation – Good luck with that!

Parents buying signs urging others not to touch their children – There is now a new trend of strangers almost touching babies with their finger and saying, “I’m not touching!”

Ancient Greeks predicted killer robots, driverless cars and even Amazon Alexa speakers – Yeah, but they completely missed the Hula Hoop, Pacman and the Pet Rock!

Virginia man’s 254-pound watermelon sets new state fair record – Virginia State Fair Police told to be on the lookout for Gallagher!

Don't microwave urine samples, Florida convenience store owner warns customers – I make it a point to never shop at stores that warn customers not to microwave urine samples.


FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK

Waitress pitches in to help with fussy toddler so mother can eat in peace – I hope she got more than a 10% tip!










8 comments:

  1. The tennis player is a DICK. How rude. I hope he gets lots of negative press because he's earned it.

    San Francisco is a place I refuse to visit anymore. Horrible what's happening to many areas of California.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎

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  2. I saw the headline about the microwaving urine. Without seeing the story, I have to assume it has something to do with drug tests. People who get someone else to give the sample often don't have samples at the temp that it would be fresh out of a person. But I'm not sure why they'd have it at a convenience store.

    I'm probably overthinking this.

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  3. I hope the support squirrel wasn't injured as he was kicked off the plane. I hear that surgery for a squirrel is pretty expensive, because you have to fly the tiny instruments in from El Paso...

    Heh, heh. The thought of the Virginia State Fair Police guarding the perimeter against Gallagher made me chuckle.

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  4. I loved your feel good story!!

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  5. Who the heck would microwave a urine sample? Oh wait. . . Florida. . .

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  6. Now i certainly do not need any more reminders to avoid California, the southern part at least. As for Florida, it's odd, but so is Louisiana.

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  7. Ray Stevens and the Mississippi Squirrel Revival should pretty much clear anyone's attachment to support squirrels. Are people stupid or what?

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  8. Harry's explanation makes sense but it is still really tacky to do.

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