Stupid Headlines 102118
This weeks stupid headlines and my
stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.
______________________________________-
White Castle CEO still works
alongside nearly a dozen of her cousins – That is, if you call cracking a whip and yelling
“faster,” work.
Almost half of U.S. births are
unplanned, says U.N. report – Very interesting. I
have no reason to doubt this except I have had 4 children and do not recall
anyone from the UN asking if my children were planned or not. I’m pretty sure I would remember punching
some asshole in the nose if I was asked.
I have never heard anyone ever being asked this question, but it is a UN
report, so it must be true.
In Canada, marijuana is now legal – So is their national anthem now “Oh
Cannabis?”
Police find stolen doughnut van – If there is one thing cops can find,
it is doughnuts! (Actually they handed them out to the
Homeless)
Kathy Griffin Flips out on Trump Over
Stormy Daniels ‘Horseface’ Dig: ‘F— You Mushroom D—‘ The President lacks class when he
calls a woman ‘Horseface’ but in his defense, mushroom
dick might be worse…Also, anyone remember when KG
used to be really funny?
Kangaroo meat served to Nebraska
school students – Is
this how 21 Jump Street came about?
Man Who Murdered Mom With Hammer Sobs
as He Asks Judge for Second Chance – What the heck? Does the
guy have another mother?
California teen
bitten by shark offered free lifetime fishing license - Just as long as
he stops using his leg for bait.
A 9-year-old
Canadian cashes in on the long lines for pot and sells out her Girl Scouts
cookie supply – I’m sensing a future Fortune 500 CEO.
DICKHEAD of THE WEEK
GOES TO:
A white woman people have dubbed
'Golfcart Gail' called the police on a black man for cheering on his son during
a soccer game – This
makes me hate white people, not me, I am 1/1024 African American.
DICKHEAD RUNNERUP
Police officers searching for missing
child find note shaming them for parking in space reserved for parents – Because convenient parking for a
parent is so much more important than finding a missing child. Clearly the cops should have circled the lot
looking for a space.
FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE
WEEK
Walmart employee uses break to paint
nails for woman with disability – Sometimes it is the little things that make a feel-good
story.
Reading stories like the feel good story touch my heart so much.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of births and babies ... did you know that 13% of babies are conceived on an IKEA bed? I find that amazing considering IKEA shops are normally well lit.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Just read another headline about cow's milk being a symbol of white supremacy-by PETA. KG is totally off the rail.
ReplyDeleteYou had me at "O Cannabis". The leg-bait was a close second for my favorite sophomoric comment this week.
ReplyDeleteGlad to know they handed the doughnuts out to the homeless.
ReplyDeleteThat young lady who sold the cookies is one to watch.
What Val said. . . Will they maybe put a different leaf on their flag?
ReplyDeleteTarget-rich environment this week; I'd love to weigh in on Kathy Griffin, but the less said about her, the better. . .
And I say the guy who killed his mom should get as many second chances as she got. . .
Love these. And your comments on the kangaroo story and the next one about the mommy murderer both made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteCanada is looking better everyday. The citizens are known for politeness, now the will be mellow also. Sounds like the place to unwind.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, as usual!!
ReplyDelete