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Saturday, October 20, 2018

Stupid Headlines 102118


Stupid Headlines 102118

This weeks stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.

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White Castle CEO still works alongside nearly a dozen of her cousins – That is, if you call cracking a whip and yelling “faster,” work.

Almost half of U.S. births are unplanned, says U.N. report – Very interesting.  I have no reason to doubt this except I have had 4 children and do not recall anyone from the UN asking if my children were planned or not.  I’m pretty sure I would remember punching some asshole in the nose if I was asked.  I have never heard anyone ever being asked this question, but it is a UN report, so it must be true.

In Canada, marijuana is now legal – So is their national anthem now “Oh Cannabis?”

Police find stolen doughnut van – If there is one thing cops can find, it is doughnuts!  (Actually they handed them out to the Homeless)

Kathy Griffin Flips out on Trump Over Stormy Daniels ‘Horseface’ Dig: ‘F— You Mushroom D—‘ The President lacks class when he calls a woman ‘Horseface’ but in his defense, mushroom dick might be worse…Also, anyone remember when KG used to be really funny?

Kangaroo meat served to Nebraska school students – Is this how 21 Jump Street came about?

Man Who Murdered Mom With Hammer Sobs as He Asks Judge for Second Chance – What the heck?  Does the guy have another mother?

California teen bitten by shark offered free lifetime fishing license - Just as long as he stops using his leg for bait.

A 9-year-old Canadian cashes in on the long lines for pot and sells out her Girl Scouts cookie supplyI’m sensing a future Fortune 500 CEO.


DICKHEAD of THE WEEK GOES TO:

A white woman people have dubbed 'Golfcart Gail' called the police on a black man for cheering on his son during a soccer game – This makes me hate white people, not me, I am 1/1024 African American.



DICKHEAD RUNNERUP

Police officers searching for missing child find note shaming them for parking in space reserved for parents – Because convenient parking for a parent is so much more important than finding a missing child.  Clearly the cops should have circled the lot looking for a space.



FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK

Walmart employee uses break to paint nails for woman with disability – Sometimes it is the little things that make a feel-good story.






9 comments:

  1. Reading stories like the feel good story touch my heart so much.

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  2. Speaking of births and babies ... did you know that 13% of babies are conceived on an IKEA bed? I find that amazing considering IKEA shops are normally well lit.

    God bless.

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  3. Just read another headline about cow's milk being a symbol of white supremacy-by PETA. KG is totally off the rail.

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  4. You had me at "O Cannabis". The leg-bait was a close second for my favorite sophomoric comment this week.

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  5. Glad to know they handed the doughnuts out to the homeless.

    That young lady who sold the cookies is one to watch.

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  6. What Val said. . . Will they maybe put a different leaf on their flag?

    Target-rich environment this week; I'd love to weigh in on Kathy Griffin, but the less said about her, the better. . .

    And I say the guy who killed his mom should get as many second chances as she got. . .

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  7. Love these. And your comments on the kangaroo story and the next one about the mommy murderer both made me laugh.

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  8. Canada is looking better everyday. The citizens are known for politeness, now the will be mellow also. Sounds like the place to unwind.

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