Stupid Headlines 050618
It is time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my
stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.
_________________________________
Fiery dish sets off restaurant's
sprinklers, almost blasts waiters off their feet – I would definitely order this for
desert.
Man bitten by shark, bear, snake in
less than 4 years – He
completed the rare “Stupid Outdoorsman” trifecta!
Scientists say Uranus smells like
rotten eggs - Well…no, I just can’t, this one is way too easy.
GE pressured to fire
auditor after 109 years – Doesn’t this guy know SS payments max out at 70?
Playing Tiger Woods is actress Paula
Patton's 'dream role' – If I was the director, I think my first choice of someone to play an
Asian-African-American male athlete would be a Caucasian blond woman, clearly
anything else would be discrimination!
North Carolina transgender inmate
suing prison over right to practice witchcraft – I think this is a misprint, the
transgender was suing to practice which-craft.
New Jersey superintendent defecated
on high school football field 'on a daily basis – The article refers to the
superintendent as the "pooper-intendent"
North Carolina teenager accepted into
113 colleges – Very impressive,
but why would someone so obviously qualified apply to more than two or three favorites
and perhaps one “Sure Thing” just in case.
Man tells police there's a 'guy dead'
in his bathtub ... and it 'stinks' – How did the man die? Why this brain surgeon who called 911
shot him.
Budweiser releases new beer based on
George Washington's handwritten recipe – Step one: Chop down a cherry tree.
National Bike Month: How to celebrate
this May – Wear a
jock strap?
FEEL GOOD STORY IF THE
WEEK:
New York firefighter vacationing in
North Carolina rescues 3 girls from rip current – Firefighters are the best!
Story does
have a sad ending.
______________________________
Come back next week for
more (maybe)
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!
There is no end to the ridiculous news stories headlines out there.
ReplyDeleteIt's true that rip tides are extremely dangerous ~ Kudos to the brave fireman who went out after those girls!
ReplyDeleteTransgendered witches in prison? Why doesn't that surprise me?
Pooper-intendent, that one tickles the funny bone. :-)
Someone i know who was a police officer for several years says now that if he’d known better, he’d have become a fire fighter instead.
ReplyDeleteFun headlines as always, it’s amazing the crazy stuff that people come up with to actually do in this world.
The editor who came up with that "one-armed man/applause" thing was really proud of himself, I'll bet.
ReplyDeleteThis is a nice collection for my 13-year-old self. I wonder if the Pooperintendent smells like Uranus.
ReplyDeleteMan bitten by shark, bear, & snake must have a hard time finding friends brave enough to accompany him ANYWHERE.
ReplyDeleteThe sound of one hand clapping. . . very Zen. . .
ReplyDeleteAnd you wonder how much the 113-college kid spent on application fees, dontcha?
Loved these, as always!!
ReplyDeleteYou can't make this stuff up. You just can't.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
right to practice witchcraft?...... The day is not far off when such demands will be made.
ReplyDeleteSo many comments running through my cranium but I'll just go with this one. We have a lovely lady general surgeon. She has this first grade mentality however when it comes to the word: Uranus..she loves using it in a sentence...every chance she gets. I'm in her operating room on Thursday and one of our cases is a colonoscopy and yes I'm telling her about this headline...I'm not making this up..I'm so excited for Thursday when usually I'm really not that thrilled about colonoscopies...other peoples or my own.
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult to get a great sound from one man applause...
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ReplyDeleteYes! Finally something about cinta de raso.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what the insurance premiums are for that guy who got bitten by a shark, bear, and snake...
ReplyDelete