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Sunday, May 20, 2018

STUPID HEADLINES 052018


STUPID HEADLINES 052018
(What, this is Monday? oops)
It is time again for
Oh... SAX!

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Arizona woman, 31, stalked date, said she wanted to bathe in his blood in one of 65,000 texts – On the plus side, she does have nice honkers!
Meghan Markle, Prince Harry snub 'most beautiful royal' by not inviting her to royal wedding – Apparently, Corgi’s are not their thing.
Pope blesses Lamborghini that sold for $950,000 – Sure that is a lot of money, but this thing can race at God-speed.
Nebraska police nab teen for trying to swipe cat – WTF!  There are only about 2 billion shelters trying to give them away. *
Scientists train spider to jump on command – The command is “Here comes my boot!”
Missouri firefighter takes care of hummingbird that was discovered unresponsive – Nice story, but what was the most amazing to me was the first reader comment on the story Ahh yes. This is why we pay them so much in salary and pensions.” This was from jsmith89104. 
So, jsmith89104, you are the first winner of the Cranky Biggest Flying Asshole Story Commenter of the Week Award! Congratulations jsmith89104!!

Hawaii volcano emits massive cloud of ash into sky, but golfers seem oblivious – The rule clearly states that molten hot lave is not a natural hazard and player is allowed a free drop two club lengths away from the lava…if however, the ball was disintegrated from the heat there is a two stroke penalty.
Donald Trump Jr. gave daughter a puppy for her birthday – Unless the puppy is a Russian Wolfhound, why is this in the news?
Mother changes son's name after botched tattoo spells it wrong – Welcome to the world baby Maryamm.
Yanny or Laurel? Trump says, 'I hear covfefe' – That’s funny no matter what your politics.
Meghan Markle stuns in Clare Waight Keller for Givenchy at royal wedding – Personally I was hoping for a Pnina Tornai sleeveless Ballroom with crumb-catcher, a beaded-bodice and some Swarovski crystal bling…this dress had no wow factor!
Why yes, I do watch “Say Yes to The Dress.”
*I could have gone the “Cat Burglar” comment route.
FEEL-GOOD STORY of the WEEK
Hero dog rescues his pal from drowning in pool in viral video – A good dog story always makes me feel-good!
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Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!

12 comments:

  1. Missouri says, "Take THAT, Florida!" I'm snickering at your "nice honkers" and the jumping spider command.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love your award the very best. Well deserved.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

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  3. Now you are going to have everyone fighting for one of those awards....what were you thinking lol? The dress...ah, yes...my first vew of it caused me to say "what was SHE thinking". However, after several more views of it I decided it looked a tad medieval and it wasn't so bad. I liked the second gown of the day better though.

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  4. If Donald Trump Jr. did it, I'll find a way to be outraged. This might just take me longer than usual. Rest assured, I'm outraged... just not sure why yet.

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  5. Jssmith so deserves that badge. Thanks for awarding it Joeh.
    Now I have to go find out who the most beautiful royal is.

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    Replies
    1. Allegedly Lady Amelia Windsor ("Mel to her friends" so we won't be shortening her name anytime soon!) although she has the same slapped arse face as Victoria Beckham.

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  6. "Pope blesses Lamborghini that sold for $950,000" Really? A Lamborghini? I always thought of him as more of a Ferrari guy.

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  7. Interested parties want to see the beaded bodice with crumb-catcher.
    Covfefe!

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  8. So spiders are smart and trainable after all — i knew my arachnophilia was warranted. Nice dog story!

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  9. In this day and age when it seems everyone is angry at everyone else, this made me smile and even laugh. Thank you. We need more covfefe, not less.

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  10. I really liked Meghan's wedding dress!! Do you remember the awful wedding cake dress Diana wore?

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